Whew!

Back to some normalcy. No more holidays. No more weddings and with it wedding chaos. No more, and I say this with sadness, summer. School starts for the kids on Tuesday, for me Sept 11. I only have one job right now and that feels weird; I took a leave of absence from BPs; there is a stress that is gone but it is noticably gone and it feels almost like a void right now. There is a full time health records position posted right now, ends Aug 27, that I applied for; if I get it, I know that I will not be returning to BPs.

I'm excited for this newfound "freedom" for lack of a better word but I find myself afraid of it too. Am I going to utilize my time better or am I going to get stuck in a rut of nothingness and find I have wasted it all away? Am I going to well at this Chem class or am I going to bellyflop off the high board? There is far too much uncertainty in that department right now. I will feel more at ease once in the class a bit, if I find I am able to do well in it.

I am finding that I need to make time for me and I know that that can be perceived as selfish however, I am finding that I don't do anything that is just for me. So last night I ordered prints form my 1000's of pictures and I am going to finish some scrapbooks that I started. LilB & Nat's wedding album. The kids' grad album and I now have P.B. & J's wedding album to do. After that I have tonnes more to do with just family pictures or baby pictures.

I also want to take time for myself to spend time with my frends. I am missing that from my life right now. Not only is it a void from my life but I find I am missing it and longing for it.

So the chaos and unorganized confusion of the summer is all but over and school lunches, homework, music lessons and dance recitals are back to routine. Whew.

What a ride...or stop the bus; I want to get off.

Sometimes family gatherings are really rough: snide comments, dirty looks, backstabs and jabs and upper-cuts. I would like to say, on record, that it is even harder when ex-families are involved and even harder still when it isn't even your ex-family. Sometimes the hurt just doesn't seem worth it. Worth what exactly? Well, it just doesn't seem worth any of it at times especially when your own "children" seem to get in on said action...

Somebody stop the bus, I think I want to get off....

We're having a wedding.

It's seems such a short time ago that P.B and J got engaged. It's been a year. Has it been that long? Seriously, people? Have we really had a year to prepare, emotionally and physically, for this wedding?

The bridesmaids are all here and their dresses are ready. The groomsmen are all all here, including the one from Missouri and the tuxes all fit. The flowergirl has her dress, her basket of flower petals, her hair appointment and her shoes but she is still missing all her front teeth. The ringbearer has his tux complete with too big shirt with rolled up sleeves, his shoes, his pillow, the rings and a complete lack of desire to go to this wedding because he knows this means his sister will be leaving us and if he doesn't go, she can't.

The bride has her dress, her flowers (now, the florist made a mistake and they didn't get here until 4), her veil, her hair appointment and a complete set of bridal nerves. Same said for groom only he couldn't find a dress to look good on him.

The reception area is decorated, going to be cramped (I mean cozy) and looks pretty nice. The backdrops have been framed, clothed, lit and set into the first of two locations. The cake made the trip despite the roads and is awaiting decorating and placement on its perch. The rehearsal is complete and I think we are all feeling confident about it given we got the music and the sound system figured out and the dvd presentation was up and running as of last night. The moms had their cry over said dvd presentation and will probably have another one today.

Oh yeah, most importantly, the box of tissue has been strategically placed under our chairs in the front row. So if you are about to be a guest at said wedding, back off and get your own Kleenex!!!

Almost Mr and Mrs...

Once they got that first push to go up the aisle from Dad, these two did pretty good.

Big brother making up for some lost torture time; I mean quality time!

Stinging like a beaver?

Bug is in the living room having a picnic watching his favorite movie of all times (still) "Lightning McQueen". He has just come to the part where Doc asks "Was that floating like a cadillac or stinging like a beamer?". Bug mimics while playing with his car collection, "Was that stinging like a beaver?!"


Moments like these it would be great to have a videocamera ready 24-7 on each of the kids to capture their funny moments, tender moments and just plain goofy moments.

I am such a slacker!

It's been a while since I have been here. We took Rush to my mom's and she is there until Friday. I didn't go to work today and I have some things that I could be doing but I am having such a hard time getting the ambition to do them. That being said, they are things that NEED to be done before Friday and I do work tomorrow!

This sinus cold has taken every ounce of ambition, motivation and gumption I had and tossed it away down a deep, deep well and I can't even see the bottom of this well to try and fish them out of there...

This cold has also aided me in the killing of numerous trees that have selflessly and involuntarily sacrificed themselves to become my tissues...if this lasts any longer the world will be a barren place, void of all things tree-like.

14 years ago today

14 years ago today I was 18 years old, having laid in a hospital bed for a week during an incredible heatwave and was 198 pounds of mostly water retension and baby (having weighed 105 pounds before pregnancy). I had been in the hospital for so long prior baby as I developed hypertoxemia and was on the verge of being dangerously sick. Aug 2 my membranes were stripped and I was given Oxytocin.

14 years ago today, I was going to be having a baby. I had only been married for 3 weeks and was all ready realizing that my husband (not Bill) was not even remotely close to the man of my dreams having all ready abandoned me in this hospital and not really caring to see me. I was alone and I was scared.

My labour started and my "husband" was no where to be found. My dad and my brother were on their way from our hometown (2 hours away). Things began to progress and I was getting excited about the arrival of my precious baby. Not too much further into the day I failed to progress and an "emergency" c-section was ordered. I say "emergency" because it was ordered at noon and I got it at 11:33 that night.

I was given a spinal and strapped to the table where the c-section proceeded. I had to interupt the doctor as I was feeling EVERYTHING! He calmly told me I only felt the sensation to which I replied a bit loudly and vulgarly that I COULD FEEL EVERYTHING!!! The doctors quickly decided that the spinal must have missed its mark and they had to put me out with general anesthetic.

Much to my dismay I awoke to find I was the last person in my entire family to hold my beautiful daughter and when I did get to see her I was still so hopped up on drugs that I took that first glance, said how cute she was a passed back out again.

We have been through a lot that beautiful baby and I. We tried to stay with her dad and did our best for 3 years but through those 3 years came to the realization that we were safer on our own. We had a couple rocky years alone and survived and thrived and along came BigB.

I was just a kid when I had her but I am so thankful and so grateful that she came along. Today she is a smart, beautiful, talented, compassionate, thoughtful, giving, fun-loving, hilarious young lady and I couldn't be more proud of her. She is an angel to me and I will always, always cherish her!

Camping

We're heading off to go camping after I am done work today. Gee, that's going to be nice. After all this heat, I sure am looking forward to sitting in the cool water. Maybe I will even be able to catch another fish.

Rush is bringing a friend this time and depending on where we go, there could be another old friend there. They should have a lot of fun.

I bid you farewell; well, at least until after we get back.

Changes

I have a Permanent Part-Time job now in Health Records. It is a guaranteed 32 hours in a 3 week period but I still have my relief position here so it won't take much to get a lot of hours.

We had the last of 2 bridal showers for J this past Saturday. Jellybean took that day to finally realize that J isn't really living with us anymore and she is taking it hard. She is packed up and will be moving to L.M. next Saturday.

My little Bug turned 4 years old on Saturday too. We had a joint birthday party for him and my dad on Sunday. I can't believe he is 4 all ready. What a grown up young man.

I haven't been sleeping well lately as GeekNerdCutiePants has been gone a lot with work. Plus I was in Emerg with Rush until 2:30 AM on Saturday/Sunday. Yesterday my boss sent me home at lunch and I slept all day and most of the night. (Feeling better now) Jellybean had to come and tuck me in at her bedtime and she sang me 10 minutes of "All the Pretty Little Ponies" (her favorite lullaby); at least she sang me all of the words she knows. It was beautiful and I felt so loved.

It is so hot here right now. Apparently we broke a record from 1948 or something yesterday. It was 33 degrees Celsius but the humidex registerd 40 degrees. Whatever that is in Farenheit I have no clue. For here that is really hot. In the office today there is absolutely no air flow and the fans are just blowing all the warm air around. If I get put out on the patio at BPs today, I quit (grin).

I think that catches you up to date but I will double check later.

Hero

I just became a hero to my two youngest kids...simply by freeing a beautiful dragonfly that was caught in a spider's web. Not much can feel better than that.







(other than the organizing and purging of items I was doing when they ran for me to rescue the dragonfly.)

It's down to the nitty gritty

There is now officially less than one month to the P.B. & J wedding. Believe me when I say, "yikes!"

Today Jellybean & I got our dresses fitted; J gets hers done next week. We finally found shoes for Jellybean after searching high and low in this place. We were getting desperate enough that we were almost to the point of paying the $40 for the ballet style shoes at the bridal store. Payless had some cute ones, a ballet style for $20 (unfortunately not in her size) but we found another cute pair of heeled sandals for $17.

Our good friend, Brenda threw a nice shower for J at the church and she got some lovely gifts from all the ladies there. On Saturday we are off to her mom's home town for another bridal shower.

Poor J is getting to the point where she is so terribly excited but she has had an emotional break down when it comes to leaving her brothers and sisters behind. She is afraid Bug will forget her and she figures that her wedding is the last time she will ever see LilB and Nat as neither couple can afford to travel to the visit the other.

We've also gotten to the point now where we are trying to organize hair appointments, nail appointments, straightening out crazy tan lines (thank God for that sunless tanning lotion) and all sorts of last minute details.

I can only imagine what the last 2 weeks and especially last week are going to be like.

I did however take the time today to make the kids some of their favorite summertime treats. At the moment we have yogurt popsicles, banana pops covered in chocolate with sprinkles, banana pops covered with walnuts and banana pops covered with strawberry yogurt in the freezer. Hopefully tomorrow I will get the chocolate pudding/graham cracker sandwich frozen treats made up.

On Monday I am sending an email to my boss to inform her that I am resigning from my switchboard position. I finally came to the decision even though emotionally I knew I wanted to do it a while ago. I love the position other than the fact that as casual staff I am there primarily on weekends and holidays. I don't want to be missing any more Christmases and I am wanting to make weekends free so we can spend more time as a family.

I should have done this a long time ago as I realized how fast the years are going; I mean, I have 2 kids married (almost) and another going to high school for crying out loud. I don't think we are doing that poorly in our finances that I need to sacrifice my time with my family or my friends anymore.

Some pictures from our camping trip this weekend and at LilB's request

Rush's first catch...that's right; she caught a hook with her hook and replaced the hook she had lost with a better one.
Jellybean with sunkissed cheeks. In this picture it looks like she is only missing 2 teeth but the numbers are up to 4 with 2 more wiggly ones in there.

BabyK getting ready to go out in the canoe.

Bug figures camping trips are 2 thumbs way, way up.

Tuff with his shadow. There wasn't too many times he was without his Bug.

Finally, the nightmares will cease

Since I wrote my Biology final I have been having nightmares about getting 50% on the exam...every single night. Since the last week of June... It has been a terrible ordeal and I finally gave up on knowing my mark in the near future.

BigB happened across my username and password at his office as I had had him check for me once while I was at work and he decided that before he threw it out he was just going to check one last time. This morning he came into the office at work with a huge grin on his face and asked me if I was still wanting to know what my Biology mark was.

DUH!!!!!!

I got 94% on my Biology!!! I am so pumped about that! Put that with my 98% in Math and I am really getting my average up there. I am really excited.

The Fall brings night classes of Chemistry30 so we will see how that goes. I am hoping for an 80%. I think that is the lowest I can get to maintain a decent average. I'm definitely shooting to add some gravy to that mark just like I did with these last 2. I said at the beginning that I would be happy with a 75% and anything above that was gravy...that's a lot of stinking gravy!!!!

Shock and awe

I am still waiting for my Biology teacher to email me with my final mark and the agony is unbearable. I think I have checked my email about 40 times since 7:30 this morning and still, nothing!!!

I do know my Math mark and even though I was getting good marks all the way through the class, my final mark still shocked me and brought me to tears. I ended up with a 98% on my final exam and an overall average of 98%!!!!!!

This coming from the girl whose math mark from high school was a 17%!!!

I am so incredibly happy; I don't think I can even begin to describe how I feel right now. I thought math had beaten me. I didn't get it in high school and I thought I was destined to be a math failure. I tried the correspondence thing and just couldn't get through it and this was my final attempt at mathematical redemption and I DID IT!!!!!!!!

It feels so good to have overcome something that was holding me back. It didn't seem to be holding me back career-wise (sort of now that I know what I want to be) but it was holding me back emotionally; I felt like a failure and I felt...
...I think it is too hard to explain how I felt. But I beat it!!! It did not beat me!!! I beat it and not only did I beat it, I royally kicked its...

Slow thyself cruel, cruel clock

Yes, time marches on and on and on but it certainly doesn't march slowly.

A year ago I held a beautiful baby girl in my arms, craddled her next to me, smelled the sweet fragance of "new baby" and felt her warm breath on my cheek and her soft fingers grip mine. Today I watched that beautiful baby girl stride gracefully across the gymnasium as she said farewell to elementary school and as she began to anticipate new challenges, new goals, new experiences, new hardships and new sacrifices in high school.

Man!!! This motherhood thing sucks!!! What other group of people spend their entire life (from beginning of motherhood until the day we die) watching their heart walk around before them, watching their heart experience joys, hurts, hopes, despairs, discouragments and dreams? Ok, maybe dads do too but I think it is different; I think that maybe there isn't quite the same connection. Dads can be a little more detached but only due to the fact that it wasn't them that had that first internal bond and loved from that very first notion of life.

Today I watched my heart graduate from Grade 8 and has she ever turned into a kindhearted, intelligent, beautiful and graceful young woman. I could not be more proud of you at this moment!

I feel fear right now though; I fear how fast I know these next 4 years go. I have been here before, twice, and I know how fleeting these last 4 years are so, please cruel clock, slow thyself...

Academic delights

Today was the awards ceremony at the girls' school. Rush was awarded with an honor roll certificate and medal as well as the citizenship award and Jellybean got a reading award for most improved reader.

I was informed of what my grades are going into my finals...I grin with sheer delight as I announce my math mark to date is 98% and my biology mark to date is 95%. This coming from the girl who graduated in '92 with a 17% in math and a 57% in biology and who was claiming she would be happy just to get 75% this time around. I just may have to have that math party after all...

Crutches suck

...and that is all I have to say about that.




On crutches and off work for at least 5 days. Bummer.

Do I laugh or cry at this trainwreck?

I am an absolute wreck; I mean trade me in on a horse and shoot the horse...I am a mess. Tonight I was working at BPs. As I was taking an armfull of dishes to the dishpit I stepped on a lemon wedge that had fallen on the floor. My right foot went out from my center of gravity and down I went in a blaze of, well, the opposite of glory.

Right now, I have a slightly twisted left ankle, a really twisted right ankle, a sore left knee, my left arm hurts from preventing all the dishes from crashing and I twisted my back funny when I tried to catch my footing.

I told you I was a trainwreck. I wrapped my right ankle and am pushing through the slight pains everywhere else but what would I have done had I not landed on my knee and sort of "caught" myself? Would I feel better or would I be tonnes worse...?

It may be quiet from me...finals are coming next week as is Rush's grade 8 graduation!

A piece of my heart found peace

A couple of weeks ago we were informed by our sitter that she would be retiring July 13; this isn't going to affect us until the fall when the kids go back to school. The last 2 weeks have been spent in search of a new sitter for our kids who will be able to drive them to and from school.

We made numerous calls and had an interview with someone last night who seemed ok but didn't compare to our current sitter. Today when I called home to see how Rush was doing I was told to call BigB on his cell so I did. He gave me a piece of news that brought an instant peace to my mother's heart; my step-mommy is going to babysit the kids!

So, I was right in my initial thinking of our inability to find someone who could compare with our current sitter; we found someone better!!!!!!

Home sweet home

Rush came home this afternoon. She is stiff and sore but seems to be doing fine. I had to go to work so I left her snuggled on the couch with her cat (who missed her like mad) and visiting with one of her best friends. She got a nice card from her teacher and classmates and we think the Abramyk's brought her some flowers but Jellybean answered the door and told us that it was a dad who is not quite a dad yet with glasses...was that you guys? The flowers were gorgeous by the way and Rush really loved them and the mug they are in so thank you so much for that beautiful gesture.

She is not to go to school for the rest of the week and we will see how she is doing Monday before we send her (according to her discharge papers); she also has to see our family doctor next Wednesday for a post-op. He, however is on holidays until the end of June. I tried to make an appointment with our "stand-by" doctor (for times such as these) and he is on holidays with our doctor and his wife!!! Shouldn't there be a policy against that? Doctors and "just-in-case" doctors leaving at the same time....GRIN!!!!

Anyway, my baby is home and she is doing fine. All your well wishes and attempts to see her(even though her nurse didn't know she was in surgery when you got there) are so appreciated...
We are lucky to have friends and family like you all!

A is for applesauce

I left Rush at the hospital last night with her happily eating a bowl of applesauce and some arrowroot cookies. She hadn't eaten anything subtantial since Monday at lunch time so this was very welcome and she mentioned to me how 'that is really good tasting applesauce; you should really try some of it mom.'

Her procedure yesterday involved a laproscopy and she did not need her appendix removed. The problem causing the pain has been rectified and once she is healed from the surgery should be fine.

Before her surgery she was given a book to read, keep in mind she is on the children's ward. She was bored so willingly read her riveting book, "Peter Panda Has an Operation" and snuggled with the soft teddybear she was given upon returning to her room prior to the surgery.

I do not know yet if she is going to be coming home today or not but I guess all will be made known soon enough. Jellybean and Bug really miss their sister and want her home. However they also want to be able to see her in her hospital room again and get another ride on her really cool bed!

A trip to emergency later

Last night I got home from work to BigB telling me that he was taking Rush to the walk-in clinic because she is having pains in her side and he thinks it may be her appenix. A few minutes later they are back with them telling me the walk-in clinic was closed so I told them if they really think it's her appendix that they are going to the emergency room to get checked out.

At about 11:00 last night, numerous calls later, I get a call telling me that they are keeping Rush overnight for observation; I thought they meant in the emergency room but last night she was admitted to the children's ward and will most probably be having surgery sometime in the next couple of days.

I felt helpless sitting here waiting by the phone to see what was going on with my baby. Today, all I want to do is go to the hospital and be with her and I have to go to school. I will be able to sit with her for a bit this afternoon but then I have to go to work at BP's.

To top it all off, today is LilB's birthday and I will not be able to talk to him to wish him a happy birthday even though I did 2 days ago knowing I wouldn't be able to. Today he turns 21 years old. What a great man he has become; we are so proud of you!!!!

I got a position!

That's right. It's temporary but it's a position at the hospital for the summer and it is full time! The tentative end date is for the end of September but it may be extended.

This next week BigB and I will be interviewing babysitters for the fall as our wonderful babysitter will be retiring this summer. We won't have to worry about not having one until the kids go back to school as Rush will be our full time sitter, earning herself some money.

It is, however, a pain in the butt trying to find one who doesn't smoke and can drive the kids to and from school or be close enough for the kids to walk with her.

Here's hoping one of them works out.

That would be time served

Jellybean experienced and just finished her first grounding ever; I mean, she has gotten into trouble before but she has never been grounded before...until yesterday.

I got a call from Rush at the school asking me if I had picked Jellybean up from school because she can't find her. I think my heart fell to my toes and panic began to choke the life right out of me. I fought to stay in control of my thinking and asked Rush a bunch of questions. As I was right about to lose every ounce of control I did have and while asking Rush to go to the school secretary to see if she could get the address of Jellybean's friend's house (someone saw her walking with this friend) , the door opened and in walked Jellybean, proud as punch that she had walked home by herself.

I reassured Rush that Jellybean was safe and that she could just come home and tried to decide whether I needed to laugh or cry or spank or hug Jellybean. In the end, after regaining my composure, we had another long talk about strangers and people you know a little bit, the dangers of not letting people know where you are going and that I understood why she would want to walk by herself and feel grown up. I then hugged her as tight as I could without popping her little head off and burst into tears. This was followed by a calm, "You do realize that you are grounded, right?"

After explaining exactly what being grounded meant and what she could and could not do, I made darn sure she recited to me why she was grounded because I wanted to make sure that she won't do that again.

So, today marks time served for Jellybean's first "sentence", a lot earlier than any of the other kids. This one could be trouble guys...
...wink, wink.

Do you like apples?

Today BigB picked me up from school; we went and got a Booster Juice and were on our way to Extreme Pita to pick up, well, a pita in order to have a nice picnic for lunch. A girl I know from work and school was running around with a piece of paper in her hand and she asked us if our van was ours. She then proceeded to tell us how she and another girl witnessed a lady in a truck back into our van and saw our van lift up off the ground a bit; this lady then proceeded to drive away without stopping to acknowledge what she had done or to even see if she had damaged our van.


How do you like them apples?

There is more to this story though; those two witnesses gave us the plate number and the make and model of this truck and their names and phone numbers and we took that information to the police dept.

How do you think she's going to like them apples now?


Hopefully, she is the registered driver or that person will give up the name of the driver and they will pay for the corrections required on our van.

More pictures from F.A.M.E.

F.A.M.E.

Tonight was the first big show and tomorrow is the last; Jellybean was "Almost Famous" as the studio likes to say. For one weekend she is famous and all the kids that go to the dance studio are stars right along with her, 2 different showcases, 2 showings each for this weekend and each show is a sellout.

Every year my favorite part, aside from seeing my children perform, is the Grand Finale where all the kids come out to take their final bows while the theme song from "Fame" is playing. It is heart pounding, foot stomping, hand clapping good fun and it always brings tears to my eyes and my heart swells with pride-another year full of hard work, blistered toes and loads of fun has come to its conclusion for these kids.

This is Jellybean's last year of dance for a while; she is taking violin lessons, from Dixie (if she still feels up to that challenge).

Anyway, I thought I would throw on a few pictures from the recital. The photos of kids dancing are from dress rehearsal since they don't let you take pictures at the recital but...I DID take pictures of them at the grand finale tonight.

You may need to sit down for this one. I sure know I needed to.

I got 100% on my math assignment!!! That has so totally never happened to me before in my life...not in math anyway!!!

So proud I am crying!

Rush had a school project that she was doing with her two best friends. They had to pick a type of book that you would find in the library and do a report on how it would help the community. The girls decided to use cookbooks and have a bake sale from baking that they did, completely by themselves. They then decided that the way this baking was going to help their community was for them to donate the money they earned to The Children's Haven here in town.

Last weekend was the big weekend of baking. The girls made mints, candies, brownies, cupcakes, dirtcups, jello cups, rice krispie squares-regular, chocolate, caramel and some with Alphabets and I am sure that I am missing some. This week they began selling the baking and decided to take advantage of the poor weather they were going to have for their track meet, decided to sell hot chocolate as well.

Tonight Rush and I rolled up the money and got a total for her to tell The Children's Haven when she called. Rush found the number and called to tell them that tomorrow after school three 13 year old girls would be by to drop off the $160.50 that they had raised just for them.

$160.50!!! I am so proud of those girls! They did a fantastic job and the baking was pretty good too. I was allowed to taste a brownie...

2 Years Old

This blog is 2 years old today and when I looked back on what I wrote 2 years ago today, it is as true then as it is now. I miss my Grandma K; I miss everything about her. This time of year especially; she loved this time of year...

I miss her a lot right now as I am going through school; she would tell my sister and I that we should be nurses. "The way you love to take care of things and people, you should be a nurse." I told her straight out that there was no way I would EVER want to be a nurse, apparently I didn't like anything to do with blood. So, my granny focused her "nursing" attention on my sister. She did go on and became a special care aid.

When I was in the hospital after having Bug something struck me in my quiet room...I want to be a nurse and deep down I think I have for a very long time. Since Bug was born I have been attempting to get my grade 12 math in some form or another through correspondence but I wasn't structured enough and had too many other things to focus on. Thus began my road to Adult Education, where I am now.

Every once in a while as I sit in class, I think of my granny and how I long to tell her that I am going to be a nurse just like she had hoped. I want to tell her because I know she would be so proud of me and because I want nothing more than for her to be proud of me and who I have become. I hadn't amounted to much around the time my granny died. I was on a downward spiral and I was going out of control fast. I only wish I had had my life straight so she could have been proud of me but I know that her thoughts of me, at the time of her death, were thoughts of fear and thoughts of desperation as she prayed for me. I just wish she could have seen those prayers answered...

Yuck!!!

The snow that is collecting outside and my perennials that look more like flower popsicles have really soured my mood. At least I wasn't one of those people who had big camping plans for this May long weekend to be foiled. My big plans are to be working...tonight until 1 a.m., tomorrow 5 until 11 p.m. and Moday at the hospital a 12 hour day.

Not exactly a lot of fun but the pay cheque will be nice...haven't had one of those from the hospital in 4 weeks.

Hi, my name is Ang and I have "Parking Lot Rage"

That's right, forget about road rage; I seem to have developed parking lot rage. While at Superstore this afternoon...wait, I should go a step before that. While in the parking lot of our eye doctor's office I sat with the kids in the van waiting for an extremely old gentleman and his wife to drive away (parked right beside us), as I waited I put the van into reverse and anticipated being able to back away any minute. Yeah, right! He sat behind our van for about 4 minutes staring at me ( note that I hadn't even taken my foot off the brake to even change foot position yet) and then began to beat his horn at me like I was going to run into him somehow, in some amazing way, since I hadn't even begun to move the van yet. I got a little peeved at him and I think I may have called him a deteriating old geezer in my ranting as I drove away. I don't do that! That is not normal!

Now, on to the episode in Superstore's parking lot. We had parked in a row off by ourselves so we could walk a bit to the store (every little bit of exercise adds up you know). We got our groceries and were heading to the van. Now I wasn't in a great mood to begin with what with the old guy plus we were trying to avoid the aging drunk in the parking lot who was asking everyone for money, food, and a car ride when I noticed that some (must be nice! must be nice!) person had parked so close to the driver's side of the van that Rush had a hard time getting through.

Needless to say, I was irate when I had to suck in my belly fat and "badunkdunk" (butt) to a size negative 6 in order to get into my van!!!!! I had impulses that I don't think I have ever had before and I felt like I would have loved to have smashed every window out of that car with my bare hands.

It was an incredibly nerve wracking experience, feeling that much out of control, if only for a moment in my head. Lets hope that never happens to me again and while we're at it let's hope no one ever parks that close to me again to test the first hope.

School Update

I am reaching the end of week 3 of 10 at school and so far all is going well other than I am really missing my family and friends with my workload and my work workload. I am still pulling off a 98% average in both classes and boy does it EVER feel good! I got my first math test (before were just assignments) back today and for the first time in my life I got a 97% on a math test! It was so hard to keep from squealing with delight when she handed my test back to me and I took that first peek at the back page to see my mark!

I have been working so hard at this and am loving it but I really can't wait for it to be done so I can get back to a normal life where I can see the kids and BigB and spend actual quality time with them instead of being in the same house with them while I am doing my homework or studying.

Even in his sleep

Even in his sleep he has a heart of gold. Tonight poor Bug is having a very restless sleep; he never really wakes up but he is having bad dreams on and off all night so far (more on than off). I went into his room, gave him his teddy bear from Pa and Grandma, opened his blinds so he could get some breeze and said a quick little prayer, outloud, for him to have no more bad dreams and to have a good night's sleep. As I finished the prayer, in his sleep, Bug says, "Amen."

He is just such a sweet kid. I love him to pieces...

By the way, the picture below is him with his swimming report card.

Ordering frenzy...

Last week we got Jellybean's flowergirl dress ordered (and paid for) minus the veil thing they had in the picture because we didn't like that at all. We put a rush order on that so that should get here in a few weeks or so. Rush's dress (in this color) for her grad and the wedding is ordered(paid for) and in the closet here.

Today I got my dress ordered and half paid for(same colors as is shown in the picture-cafe/espresso) for the wedding too and it should take 10-12 weeks to get that here. Now all we need is some shoes for me, Rush and Jellybean. Plus, we need to get to the tux shop and get BigB and Bug's tuxes rented and sized.

The bridesmaids' dresses are ordered; two, however are on backorder. Things seem to be coming together. There is confusion, it seems from the people I talk to about whether there will be a reception following. J inadvertently forgot to put that on the invites but, yes, there is a lunch and reception to follow the ceremony at the same place.

His first job!!!

That's right P.B., of the P.B. & J. almost newly wed duo, got his first welding job! Woo hoo! He is finished his classes on May 11th and his first day of work is May 22 (or so). It is nearby so there is no moving away as of yet but that will happen soon enough I am sure; there are so many welding jobs and more often than not they are out of provence.

No more MickeyD's for him!!! We are so proud of your accomplishments throughout the school year and for getting a job so quickly. Way to go, buddy!!!!!

A look at yesterday

Rush waiting for her certificate. She didn't get it this time as they gave it to her when she got her trophy and leadership award.
Jellybean with her certificate. She seemed a bit overwhelmed by all the people looking at her.

Last but not least, I finally added a picture of Jellybean with her new violin. She is so proud of it and "practices" every day.

I'm off to school now and then a quick trip home to change and off to BPs to work tonight so have a great day all.

Today we honor...

...Rush and Jellybean!

They were nominated for the Badge of Peace and Respect awards put on by the city today. Rush then went on to become the leader of her age group, receiving a little trophy and backpack as well as the framed certificate.

We are so proud of both girls and for all they have accomplished.

As well, today we honor the Mintos for winning the cup 2 consecutive years...first time in the cup's history! Way to go, Boys!!!!

The newest Vanderbaby is here!!!

Some of you will likely say, "who the heck is that?"; others will, I know, say "yep, we know that."
But there is at least one of my readers (aka Billy) who will be very interested to know that the newest Vanderbaby has arrived and she got here today. Her name is Olivia and she is beautiful!!! If you want to see a picture of the little pumpkin take a gander here.

First day of school...yesterday

Boy did my thinking brain hurt when I got to work last night and I think I was 100% ready for a snooze before my shift started. Good thing I was done early and got home by 10:00.

Classes were okay yesterday. I had no homework other than a bit of studying as we have daily quizzes in Bio.

Today may be tougher than yesterday though...I am scheduled to work 8 hours at BPs an hour after school is done. This may take a fair bit of getting used to...

Check this out...

Jellybean made the front page of the Daily Stuff N' Fluff, the family paper...

This is Kansas City calling; do you accept the charges??

Lately I have felt like I was losing my mind but when I talked to BigB it seems the same thing has been happening to him. For the last couple of weeks anywhere I go I see people we know from Kansas City: people we know really well and people we just recognize from the church. At first glance these people are the spitting image of these people we know. The second glance shows that they actually look nothing like our friends there. It has been really weird.

I have seen Pastor Steve, Doctor Mike, Justin, Phoebe's dad. Last night was when I was sure I saw Justin on the camera coming into the Emergency Room at the hospital. When they guy came in he looked ABSOLUTELY nothing like Justin.

This has been happening to BigB too but I have no idea who he has "seen". It is really quite weird though.

Technogeek toothfairy

Yesterday Jellybean worked and worked and worked on getting her third loose tooth out. She had given herself a deadline for last night before bed. I don't know why; she just did. Her reasoning was something along the lines of swallowing it but it wasn't that loose.

Towards the end of the afternoon she got her dad involved and asked him to bring out the "pliers" he had used the last time to be able to just grab the tooth. She lay there on the couch as BigB worked on the tooth and squeezed my hand from time to time but she was so very brave.

Thankfully, the tooth did come out before her bedtime and she rejoiced about that. Once the rejoicing was over though she asked BigB how the Toothfairy was going to know she had actually lost her tooth.

Dad's answer: I will email her and let her know, honey.

For those of you wonder: my day of orientation went really well and the nerves are done with. I go back on the 20th for registration and my first full day of classes will be the 23rd.

Oh! Me nerves!

Why am I so darn nervous TODAY?! Today is orientation; that is all. So this is what I felt like on the first day of Kindergarten huh? My stomach is an absolute bundle of nerves and I think I am going to hurl...

Productive Day

So today was somewhat of a productive day. At least I am hoping to view it that way. I didn't get a lot accomplished but I got Dixie her birthday present and cards (because I couldn't decide which one I liked better) and I got a cd of pictures burnt and delivered to my dad, which I have been promising for about a year now.

Why did I deliver Dixie's present so early...like 22 days? The answer to that is simple; I had the van. I had the money in my wallet to get it. I had her money for piano lessons which was past due AND I was afraid I would forget when the actual day came. Why would I forget? Well, technically not forget but I have a tendency lately of losing track of what the date is.

I called my step-dad 5 days after his birthday not becuase I didn't remember his birthday was coming but because that date on the calendar scooted past me and I didn't even realize until then.

I will just be in the process of adjusting to school and still working so I planned some preventitive maintenance, so to speak...she got it early.

Brenda, that means your present could arrive any day now too. However, I am thinking that since we see each other just about every Sunday I will be all right to wait for that one. It just seems so hard lately to get together with people. My cards for May are bought and filled out too...hopefully I will remember to get them in the mail.

Edited to add:

Okay, I just reread that and that sounds terrible!!! Absolutley terrible!!! It makes me sound forgetful and horrible and that my friends and family aren't important enough to remember on their birthdays!!! NO! NO! NO!!! That is not the case. They are so important to me that I want to make sure it doesn't seem like they have been overlooked or forgotten!

Tell me, is that better or worse? Is getting it early worse than it being a bit late given my reasons for bringing it early. I never thought that it could be taken as an insult until just now. Please let me know.

Dancing Queen

Just a couple of shots of Jellybean that I took after getting her dance pictures done. She is in full make-up and other than not having her purple balloon, she is in full costume. Their group this year is called "Don't Pop the Balloon".

Our little sharks...

As I had hoped I did manage to get the swimming pictures of my camera today so I am able to share them with you. So, without further ado, let's get this party started.

Bill wasn't able to get a picture of Bug actually jumping; he kept missing it so this is all we have for Bug's first jump.

Bug enjoying his last official SeaTurtle swim.

Jellybean diving underwater to pick up rings in their final "competition". It took her awhile to figure out how to do it but there's no stopping her now.

This is the third day of Jellybean diving so she is an old pro at it now...

A great but blurry action shot of Jellybean diving off the low board. I am hoping it is just my monitor that makes it so dark...I think I need a new monitor...

This is what's been happening lately

Jellybean and Bug both passed their swimming lessons. Jellybean is now in Level 2 and Bug went from being a Sea Turtle to being a Salamander. Very exciting! Bug was another brave soul and HE went off the diving board last Saturday...TWICE! I was no where near as nervous this time as I knew what the teacher would be doing.

Jellybean had Dance pictures done. That was some pretty fancy footwork on my part. Swimming was done at 12:45 and we had to have Jellybean in full costume, with full dance makeup and a bun in her hair and in line for pictures at 1:15. It was tense for a couple of minutes but we pulled it off with only a small and very fixable hitch; I forgot to bring lipstick from home for her.

Rush began volunteering at the nursing home just across the street from us and is loving it. The first day she went she helped out with craft time; they made Easter hats. She never wants to make another hat again but it sounds like she had a great time and made one lady's day. Every Sunday afternoon she goes over and helps with tea time and one of the residents is trying to tell her she needs to ask for a full-time job. It's nice to know that she is making a good impression on the residents and that they like her.

Rush and Jellybean have both been nominated for the Badge of Peace and Respect, a local award coming up at the end of April. So, woohoo for them!!

BigB just came home from doing some computer work for friends of his, a nice Polish family. He came home stuffed from all the great food they made for him plus, he walked in the house carrying 2 big yogurt containers of honey. Yummy!!!

I will get pictures put up here possibly tomorrow of the kids and their swimming/diving board jumping.

Is it that evident?

According to Rush she was raised by whales.


Apparently this is the only explanation for why she is....




...such a dork!!!

The planning picks up again

As some of you are aware J's wedding dress was bought and delivered awhile ago. They are now in the process of trying to find bridesmaids dresses; the bad thing is they found one and tried ordering it but the website failed to tell them that it was permanently out of stock.

Tonight they are going to look at tuxes. P.B.'s will be free as there will be 5 other rentals (3 groomsmen, 1 ringbearer and at least 1 dad, hers). We just need to figure out how much Bug's tux will be including vest and shoes and how much BigB's will be.

We found a flowergirl dress that is fairly close to J's, detail wise anyway. It is in The States so we will have to get that ordered pretty quickly. That way we will have more looking time if they decide that they don't have that dress any more and to have time for alterations etc.

J and I sat down today to figure out what kind of food we are going to want and who can make what and all that fun stuff. We will have to wait to see how many people are going to be able to attend to see what quantities we will need. If everyone shows up, we are looking at about 200 people, rounding up. This led us to the discussion of room and tables for the supper. We tried to go see the church today and it's reception area but the pastor is going to be away until next week. That task was added to next week's to-do list. We need to see what kind of room we have downstairs, how many tables they have, how we can arrange things to fit everyone, what we will need for decorations and candles.

We hace found Rush's dress fro her grade 8 grad and doubled as her dress for P.B. and J's wedding.

The birthing saga continues

Moments ago I thought I would check in on Sally, our mama ghost shrimp, and saw that we have babies. She's still got a few left to go but I can see 4-7 baby shrimp. The number is a bit vague as they are very tiny, transparent and boy, do those little suckers move FAST!!!

The kids are excited about their baby pets; I am thinking it's pretty neat too but the entire experience has caused me to realize that I am going to be a terrible mom when my kids are expecting and especially when they are in labour. I was probably quite a nuisance to that poor mama shrimp. I have a while to work on that though; I'm just not sure how long of a while it will be.

A baby story...

This morning Jellybean and I drove over to Petland to get some gravel to make a "nursery" for our mother shrimp (now known as Sally). As we were driving the van was just driving "weird"; I thought a belt was going and we limped to the parking lot. I pulled the hood release because I was certain of it but never got to open the hood. As I was getting out of the van, I had this strong feeling to walk to the passenger side and check out the tires...cue dark and creepy music.
The front passenger side was flat and by that I mean pancake and by that I mean I was probably driving on just rim for about a block or so.

We got that taken care of; spent the rest of our day doing our normal Saturday things: swimming lessons, family swim and, then, creating our Sally's nursery. A litle foresight on our part had BigB and I decide to put her in our room so that the tank wasn't jostled a lot and so it would be just a smidge quieter.

There was a Country Gospel night at our church; Tuff, Bug, BigB & I went to that. Apparently country music is "lame" when you are a 14 year old girl and this means it is also lame to your 2 younger sisters.

Approximately a half hour ago we got home and I went to the room to get into my jammies, looked at the tank and noticed that dear Sally is in Stage One of shrimp labour. I am certain by bedtime we will be in the Transitional Phase and BigB & I will be up all night listening to shrimp swears and screams. Perhaps by morning we will have a tank full of shrimp fry who will be in need of my care and rescue since we will have to remove mama right away as she is proned to eat them. (Could that be revenge?)

And so our birthing saga continues...more on the rest of this story as it unfolds.

Ghosts are running amuck in my house

No word of a lie, there are really ghosts at the center of everyone's attention today. We purchased 3 little ghosts today. Yes, ghosts. You can learn more about our little ghosts here.
The one thing we didn't realize when we got them is that one, for sure, is female and that one is, for sure, pregnant. You can see 15-20 little eggs and the kids have all ready noticed and realized what the scoop is.

This means separating mama shrimp from the rest, including our cannibal pink tetra. We still have the little fish nursery we had when the molly had her babies so I guess we can give it a shot to see if that will work. If it doesn't, we aren't really out anything. We will have 5 very disappointed kids though.

Note to self: Remember to ask associate at pet store to ensure we are not getting pregnant "pets" as this really adds to my work load. Case in point, staying up until 4 AM scooping mollies out of the tank and into nursery. However it is a cool experience and if the kids get to see it...educational.

Baby Steps

I took BabyK out for lunch this afternoon after we spent the morning getting groceries. We sat talking for awhile and I asked her what she may want for her birthday so dad & I can start looking around.

She told me she would have to think about that but told me that she is saving money to get 3 things she would really like. Those 3 things are not small purchases: a gymnastics mat, a computer and a drum set. I asked her how much money she had saved up. Her cheeks turned a bright shade of red, she looked a little sheepish and said "$1.96...".

You have to start somewhere, right? I mean Donald Trump's first million started with one dollar...

America's Next Top Model Meets Project Catwalk

The pictures I am about to show you will definitely need some clarification as our children DID leave the house looking like this this morning. It is Crazy Wacky Day at school and boy, did these girls go hog wild. With that brief explanation, I do believe the pictures will speak for themselves...

I'm on the verge of losing "it"...whatever "it" is

I had given up, given up on school(LPN) and simply going for my Special Care Aide. Why? That answer is incredibly simple; in order to get into school for my LPN I have to get my grade 12 math and upgrade my biology. I decided it was going to be too hard to do that so I quit before I even started.

No, I did start because I had gotten my name on the waiting list for the high school classes and I just got my letter stating that my start date is April 20. and I set it down and told everyone that I didn't need that because I had simply decided to go for something else.

At work last night, and by that I mean BP's, one of the RN's that I know was there with his RN wife. I didn't serve them but I was at the till when he came to pay and we began talking about work and why was I at BPs too. I told him of my going to school for the SCA once Bug is in school full time and about how I had wanted to do the LPN but gave up. I got a bit of a lecture from him and needless to say he put a lot of thoughts back in my head and I woke up this morning, called my boss, made arrangements to be off work for 10 weeks and called the school to confirm my spot.

I am now in the middle of freaking out because I won't have any income and how am I going to pay for a full time sitter with no money and all that jazz. My biggest fear right now though is my fear of failing which is why I had mentally given up on school in the first place. There are a couple of possibilities for me with CanSask giving me some sort of allowance (seems unlikely but I am going to push it until they tell me no or YES) and then there is Provincial Training Allowance that I will be checking into through the school once that lady gets back to me. I have also come to the conclusion that I can get more shifts at BP's if I change my availability with them for those 10 weeks so things will work out. I would just really love to be able to do it with out our having to go further into debt or me working myself into a frenzy with school, work and homework. I would love to be able to concentrate a lot more on schoolwork than work.

The bonus is that the schooling is free so I don't have to worry about paying for that AT ALL; our only concern would be babysitting and the bills that I was paying for out of my checks. I am hoping and praying for a big income tax return so we can use that as well.

I am terrified of going back to school as any adult is; we all have those same fears. Can I do it? Am I smart enough? Will I have enough time? Will the other kids like me...(grin).

I can do it. I can do it...I CAN do it! Can I do it...?

The Jig is Up

This time I can not lie; this time I mustn't lie. Strawberry Shortcake the Replacement 2 has met his untimely demise. I know; I know. Just like before we have gender confused fish at our house because Jellybean LOVES Strawberry Shortcake.

A few months ago we moved Strawberry Shortcake into the big tank with all the other fish and he flourished. He flourished, that is, until last week when the other fish decided that his time was drawing near and felt it was their duty to nibble his tail and fins off little by little. I moved Strawberry Shortcake into his own home as soon as I noticed the activity of these little cannibals but it was too late.

Strawberry Shortcake took his last breath...gulp...Strawberry Shortcake passed away peacefully in his home on Sunday, March 18, 2007 the year of our Lord. His passing will sadden some of us...some more than others and some still will barely notice but he was a great fish, as far as fish go, always considerate of the other fish and always, according to Jellybean, smiling. His presence will be missed especially around 9 pm every night (feeding time).

This time, I can not spare her feelings; this time I must tell her. She must learn that sometimes the people we love and, in this case, the fish we love, don't and can't stay with us forever. She must learn how to mourn it, accept it and move on from it. Death is inevitable. Her first lessons of a death of someone she sees most every day may as well come from the passing of a fish.

So, the jig is most definitely up; there will be no more deception in Strawberry Shortcake land. The replacement is irreplaceable. I do however, figure that this fish had a very good life considering it spanned the lives of 2 fish...can't beat that.

On Thoughts of Being a Bad Mom and of Lacking Faith

Yesterday was quite the day for me in my "mom world"; the kids had their swimming lessons so I thought it would be great to take the videocamera to capture their progress. I never would have imagined the extent of progress I would be capturing but am I ever glad that I thought to bring the camera. I am, however, a bit embarassed by it as well as we managed to capture my lack of faith also.

During Jellybeans swim lesson only 3 kids showed up and her instructor had the help of 2 teenagers who are learning to be swim instructors. They did their normal every day swim lesson stuff: floats, glides and everything was great. Great that is until someone down there decided that it would be great if they all went over to the deep pool (by deep I mean 12 feet) and jump off the diving board (the small one) with no lifejackets!!! Their only safety line was the fact that their instructor was in the pool to help them out.

I went into panic overload mode; the camera was shaking and I was spewing doubt and dismay out of my mouth for the entire mezzanine crowd to hear. The 2 boys went first and the "bravest" boy during swim lessons sat on the edge of the board and toppled in-no dive. The second boy went to the edge of the board and ,while standing, just sort of fell in too. I heard her instructor say, "Okay, H, it is your turn"; aackk! I prayed that she wouldn't do it, for her to change her mind, to chicken out even and I did it out loud...on videotape!!!

Jellybean slowly walked down the board and there was a glimmer of hope for me that she was going to turn around and climb down the stairs but no, she walked to the edge of the board, jumped up and down a couple of times and into the water. I don't think I was breathing as I waited for her to arrive safely on the pool edge again but she did make it. I thought to myself that that was great; she got it out of her system and now she wouldn't do it again. She walked back up the ladder, down the board, quicker this time and did. it. again! I must say that I am proud of her and that she is obviously a much braver soul than I but I was certain we were going to need an ambulance called for one or both of us. I was certain she wouldn't be coming up and that I was indeed capturing her last moments here on Earth or that I would have a heart attack before she had the chance to try.

In the change rooms she asked if she could please go on the diving board on Sunday when we went there for family swim. Uh, I don't think so.

Last night I was giving Jellybean and Bug the final dose of bug shampoo because I am entirely too paranoid about those things getting in my mess of hair and was just putting the shampoo in Bugs hair. It dripped down his forehead and onto his eyelid but before I could grab any kind of cloth to wipe it away, he wiped it into his eye and rubbed it in really well. Great! Tears began falling immediately; his or mine? I can't quite recall. I grabbed a cup, filled it with lukewarm water, did my best to pry his eyelids open and flushed his eye. I don't think my technique was great given the other variables I had to work with...wiggling, crying, screaming, mad at me 3 year old.

My very first seconds of instinct were that I needed to take him to the doctor...any doctor but I rationalized with myself very quickly and thought that I would just call the Health Help Line. She had me call Poison Control. Shudder! When I called them she told me to have my husband jump in the shower with him for 15 minutes to flush the eye out, let him play after the shower for about 15 minutes and call her back to let her know how he was doing.

My husband was gone to a hockey game so I grabbed my swim suit and Bug and I had a shower. That did not make him happy at all; he cried and cried and cried. Like a miserable mom I told him "that's okay baby; you keep crying". I did, however say it nicely to him but I had realized that if I can't get him in the shower flow properly these tears were going to help him more than I. I then set out to make him cry; I spanked him for no reason, took away all his toys, told him he could never watch Lightning McQueen again and said he could never have candy...I AM SO TOTALLY KIDDING!!! I NEVER DID OR SAID ANY OF THAT!!! What I really did was make a game out of getting his face into the water as much as I could while he was crying and hoped that we had gotten it out of his eye for the burning to stop.

I don't know which worked or if it was a combination of the tears and the shower but his eye was much better after that and I was able to sit in quiet reflection as to how I had had a completly bad mom day, how absolutely terrible I was and just as I was really entering into my pity party Rush tells me how the kids and herself really appreciated all the work I did to make them a green supper for St. Patrick's Day. SNAP!!! Pity party ended!

I guess we all unintentionally do these things to our kids. I did when I cut the tip of Rush's finger off instead of her fingernail when she was just days old. I did yesterday with the soap in Bug's eye and I know there are countless more stories but they have gotten over these stories; they don't even remember them. I am the only one needing therapy as a result and I guess I didn't really lack faith in Jellybean as she hurled herself off the diving board. I may have over reacted but I think I was showing good sense being leary about that happening since she can't swim, hates floating on her stomach and is only about 4 feet tall!!! I just hope she realizes just that as she looks back on this videotape in later years and doess't think it was her I was doubting.

Telemiracle does it, again.

Another Telemiracle weekend has come and gone and Saskatchewan has once more shown their generosity. This year Telemiracle raised $5, 583, 000, reaching a new record. I feel like Austin Powers when I say that, "$5 million, 5 hundred 83 thousand dollars".


Way too go, Saskatchewan.

When a boy loves his pastor

Last night as I was saying bedtime prayers with Bug, who has just recently been diagnosed with asthma, I asked him if he believed that God could heal his lungs and make his asthma better. He told me "Yes and Jesus can too and Pastor Shane too!". He sure does love and admire his pastor...a lot.

Vulnerable

Today I found myself sitting on the exam table at the doctor's office in nothing but a pale blue paper gown, my grey striped socks and my earrings, waiting for my doctor to enter the cold room to begin my exam. I seemed to sit there for an eternity but, according to the lying hands of the clock, it was only about 5 minutes. As he walked into the room he offered a friendly, doctorly smile and asked me how I was feeling. "Vulnerable", I replied.

What leaves you feeling the most vulnerable? Is it the wait or the next step where you are in said paper gown with your feet precariously placed in those great stirrups?

A couple pictures from our trip

The 2 Bill's at an Italian Fast Food restaurant we ate at, home of the non-stop bread stick and the "thatsa lotta chocolate" brownie.

BigB showing his comedic side, enjoying the "artwork" at the museum. Kind of a dork heh?

3 A.M.

Yes, it's 3 A.m. and I have come to a decision...coming off of night shifts completely suck!!!

I am now attemting to fall asleep on the couch because the 2 attempts in my bed have failed miserably.

And that is all I have to say on that.

All in a day's work

That should actually read 'night's work' I guess, since I have been working my 12 hour nights this past week but, whatever. It has been quite a week indeed and one that has stressed me out to a point I don't think I have ever been, work related anyway.

Three o'clock in the morning the one day we had a huge fight in the lobby of the hospital; I had to call the cops, mobile crisis came and I got called an "'f'ing' whore". I am so glad I have a sense of humor. My adreneline shot through the roof that night. We have codes and alarms like you wouldn't believe and a maintenance team that wouldn't silence these codes for almost an hour. It is really enough to make you run out the door crying and wanting to never go back.

I was physically harrassed, for lack of a better word at this hour, at work the other day by a co-worker who took it upon herself to tell me I did something wrong with her finger shoved in my face. Incidentally, upon my questioning the powers that be, I had done nothing wrong.

I went to work, after having three days off in the last 3 1/2 weeks, on a workload shift. This is where they will call you in because the work is so behind they need extra help. Keep in mind that I had not seen my kids much since before we went on our trip and these women, the full-time women, are just standing around doing nothing. NOTHING!!! I was so ready to scream at them all.

To top the week off, I ended my stretch of shifts finding the words "white man power" printed on one of our phonebooks. I don't find that kind of behavior acceptable or funny; I, in fact, find it sickening, cruel and heartless and it creates an incredibly stressful environment to try to work in.

Two of my night shifts were rough because I had barely gotten any sleep before hand. My first night I had only gotten about 1 1/2 hours just because my body hadn't adjusted yet but the second was because I was up all morning fighting the little critters that Jellybean had brought home from school. They have been fighting to get rid of them at the school since October so I guess just getting them now is pretty darn good but they couldn't have shown up in our house at a worse time. The situation is under control and I am pleased to say that we have managed to prevent an out-break at our house...so far. I would hate to have to run one of those skinny little combs through my hair.

Lets hope that the stress I "allow" will begin to lessen as I have a few days, so far, without any shifts and I am hoping to spend time snuggling with my kids, relaxing with my husband and perhaps sleeping in or at least sleeping at night. My body still wants to be up right now. yuck!

Certifiably, Friggin' Nuts

In case you think I am talking about anyone else and are completely mortified that I could be possibly talking about someone in such a negative manner, I assure you, I am only talking about the one I know best...me.

I was scheduled at BP's tonight and had a 12 hour night scheduled at the hospital so I worked BP's and took a holiday for the hospital shift. I got rid of my BP's shift for tomorrow night and have 3 night shifts, ending Thursday, well, technically Friday morning at 7. Today, one of my managers desperately asked if I could work a lunch shift in the lounge at BP's on Friday as they were in a bind and had no servers due to a couple of up-coming concerts and someone's bridal shower. I said 'yes'! I know I should say 'no"; I think to myself 'say no" and I open my mouth and I hear myself say 'yes'! Yes!!! I will get 4 hours of sleep on Friday morning before going to work again however, Kristin will be telling me to go home if I am in a complete vegetated state ( I am required to know what my name is in order to work-grin) and I will only be there to take care of the lunch rush and I can go back to bed.

Someone, please, please, please teach me how to say that one little word; it would come in so handy. However, if that is impossible get me a straight jacket and gently ease me into it. Please don't make any sudden gestures or loud noises and I will probably be a willing patient.

So far, next week I am not working and I am looking forward to it. I will be practicing that 'no' word and I will exercise my right to use it.

1st Annual Family Day

The Provincial Government has given us this day as "Family Day" so we decided that we were going to definitely take advantage of it. First thing this morning we headed over to my dad's and visited with him and Judy. Judy had to go to work but we stayed and had a bite to eat for lunch with Dad. After that we decided to go to the bowling alley and asked Dad to come along to watch. He had so much fun watching the kids and teasing us as we were bowling and then he watched us take out our aggressions with 3 games of bumper cars. A word to the wise watch out for Jellybean on those bumper cars; she gets an evil look that frightened us all.

Bowling scores:

Jellybean 95
Bug 85
Rush 101
Jay 114
Me 114
BigB 228

BigB got lucky let me tell you; Pa figures it is because he is BigB's good luck charm.

We had so much fun and I will put up pictures later. I need a rest and it is off to work I go.

BDs Mongolian Barbeque aka the place where my lost 10 pounds found me

A smidge apprehensive BigB & I agreed to go to this place with the kids for lunch and boy, are we glad we did! It has now been added to the list of must-do's on a trip here.

At first glance I was reminded of the Bonanza restaurants as there are 2 buffet tables complete with sneeze guards. There is, however, a HUGE difference!

You grab a bowl from one end of the buffet, pick through your choice(s) of raw meats and seafoods, a variety of fresh vegetables, noodles, about 10 different sauces and 6 different spices. After you've piled your bowl with as muc as the above as it will hold you make your way to a corner in the back of the room. Here you will find 4-6 young men with swords who cook your meal on a circular grill in front of you. While these boys were cooking our food, stirring it up with swords, we were completely entertained as we listened to them singing some oldies tunes or while they were exchanging banter about what to get their girlfriends for Valentine's Day & completely enjoying their job.

Due to my seafood allergies I didn't get to see them cook mine but as I waited I watched them cooking and listened to and laughed at these boys as they carried on.

For $10.50 each we got unlimited trips to the create your own meal bar, salads, soups, rice and tortillas. The grill they cooked our food on was about 8 feet across.

This is what I created and what resulted in those rascally 10 pounds finding their way back to my midsection:

beef, red cabbage, noodles, garlic, baby corn, bean sprouts, sweet and sour sauce, yellow squash and zucchini.

BigB's creation (his first but his favorite):

mongolian ginger sauce, 1 tsp cayenne pepper, 1 tsp crushed red chilis, 1 tsp cajun spice, beef, pork, lamb, shrimp, crab, yellow squash, zucchini, green pepper and bean sprouts.


To be honest and to be fair, I highly doubt this place was the reason my lost poundage found me again; I was only able to eat one helping and 1 small bowl of salad. I think it was also the visit to Red Robin with its unlimited fries and Freckle Juice, the trip to Chilis, Bob Evans, Jack Stack Barbeque, Krolls or the many truck stops we took advantage of on the way there

A Cookie and A Massage

An after shopping cookie and drink at Altanta Bread Company & sitting on an incredibly comfortable leather couch by their fireplace found Nat and I wishing they would staff some people to massage our weary feet and our shoulders. What a treat that would make!

Speaking of treats, ours tasted very delicious. I had a double chocolate and toffee cookie with a strawberry, blueberry and banana smoothie and Nat had a shortbread cookie with 2 ends dipped in chocolate (with just the middle plain) and an iced coffee drink. Yum!

It was a great way to spend the day, just me and Nat. Beforehand though, Mrs.Doc treated us to a wonderful brunch. Oh it was delicious! She made us an omlette with ham, red peppers, onions, spinach, cheese and garlic. A great feast to energize our shopping excursion. Thanks, Mrs. Doc!!!

This was the trip home

Oh yeah, great Canadian weather greeted us on our way home from K.C. The second picture was in South Dakota. The first was taken in Manitoba and that semi was pretty much right on top of us before we could clearly see it. Believe it or not, Nat, it wasn't even snowing; this was just from the blowing snow from the fields to the side of the highway.

This was the great accident we narrowly missed in Winnipeg. The car you see in the middle was the initial cause of the crash as she lost control on the bridge and darn near found herself free falling over the side. For a route that was supposed to be 2 hours quicker, we took a pretty long time getting home. I think the long way was quicker than the shortcut this time.

At least we made it home without having any damage from this. I felt pretty darn safe once the semi pulled up behind us, knowing that it was going to take a lot to move him so I was pretty secure in the van. BigB was out in the midst of traffic.

Wow

I seriously thought I was going to go balistic over this darn blog. First of all, it switched me over to this new system without my wanting to switch and then I couldn't access it to post anything or comment on anyone's blogs. I was going through some serious withdrawal but, baby, I am back!!!

Work has been hectic and I am so pleased to say that I have made up for the fact that I didn't get a pay check last week as I was on vacation the entire pay period. Whew!

Poor Jellybean has been fevered and fluish for the past 2 days and the medicine she needed most was at her job. All she wanted was her mommy here and I couldn't be here. Big changes are looming at work with Level 6 opening soon and with that means there could be a full time or part time job for me. Could is the operative word and I won't get my hopes up yet but I am praying.

I have another string of doctor appointments coming up the first week of March: family doctor, opthamologist and neurologist. I guess everyone wants to make sure the noodle is doing better.

Now that I am back and blogging I will be posting some of the pictures and stories from our trip this weekend. It also sounds like we will finally be picking up the new bedroom furniture!!! Hooray!

Is it crazy in here or is it just me?

Working nights at the hospital just got interesting, for lack of a more appropriate word. Last night, or was it this morning?, we had people who figured I was registering them as the wrong person even though all their information matched up (including middle name) and people who were using courtesy phones to call outside of the hospital to threaten someone for killing them. That's right; he called someone to threaten them for killing him. I am still trying to figure that one out. In the wee hours of the morning it is kind of funny in an all-I-can-do-is-laugh kind of way. After I got off work all I kept thinking was 'will the world get even crazier?'.

I am finding that there are times you feel like you will either look at the patient and laugh or look at them and cry. Unfortunately neither option would be a good career move. Laughing would get me in trouble and crying would get me admitted downstairs.