Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The planning picks up again

As some of you are aware J's wedding dress was bought and delivered awhile ago. They are now in the process of trying to find bridesmaids dresses; the bad thing is they found one and tried ordering it but the website failed to tell them that it was permanently out of stock.

Tonight they are going to look at tuxes. P.B.'s will be free as there will be 5 other rentals (3 groomsmen, 1 ringbearer and at least 1 dad, hers). We just need to figure out how much Bug's tux will be including vest and shoes and how much BigB's will be.

We found a flowergirl dress that is fairly close to J's, detail wise anyway. It is in The States so we will have to get that ordered pretty quickly. That way we will have more looking time if they decide that they don't have that dress any more and to have time for alterations etc.

J and I sat down today to figure out what kind of food we are going to want and who can make what and all that fun stuff. We will have to wait to see how many people are going to be able to attend to see what quantities we will need. If everyone shows up, we are looking at about 200 people, rounding up. This led us to the discussion of room and tables for the supper. We tried to go see the church today and it's reception area but the pastor is going to be away until next week. That task was added to next week's to-do list. We need to see what kind of room we have downstairs, how many tables they have, how we can arrange things to fit everyone, what we will need for decorations and candles.

We hace found Rush's dress fro her grade 8 grad and doubled as her dress for P.B. and J's wedding.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

The birthing saga continues

Moments ago I thought I would check in on Sally, our mama ghost shrimp, and saw that we have babies. She's still got a few left to go but I can see 4-7 baby shrimp. The number is a bit vague as they are very tiny, transparent and boy, do those little suckers move FAST!!!

The kids are excited about their baby pets; I am thinking it's pretty neat too but the entire experience has caused me to realize that I am going to be a terrible mom when my kids are expecting and especially when they are in labour. I was probably quite a nuisance to that poor mama shrimp. I have a while to work on that though; I'm just not sure how long of a while it will be.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

A baby story...

This morning Jellybean and I drove over to Petland to get some gravel to make a "nursery" for our mother shrimp (now known as Sally). As we were driving the van was just driving "weird"; I thought a belt was going and we limped to the parking lot. I pulled the hood release because I was certain of it but never got to open the hood. As I was getting out of the van, I had this strong feeling to walk to the passenger side and check out the tires...cue dark and creepy music.
The front passenger side was flat and by that I mean pancake and by that I mean I was probably driving on just rim for about a block or so.

We got that taken care of; spent the rest of our day doing our normal Saturday things: swimming lessons, family swim and, then, creating our Sally's nursery. A litle foresight on our part had BigB and I decide to put her in our room so that the tank wasn't jostled a lot and so it would be just a smidge quieter.

There was a Country Gospel night at our church; Tuff, Bug, BigB & I went to that. Apparently country music is "lame" when you are a 14 year old girl and this means it is also lame to your 2 younger sisters.

Approximately a half hour ago we got home and I went to the room to get into my jammies, looked at the tank and noticed that dear Sally is in Stage One of shrimp labour. I am certain by bedtime we will be in the Transitional Phase and BigB & I will be up all night listening to shrimp swears and screams. Perhaps by morning we will have a tank full of shrimp fry who will be in need of my care and rescue since we will have to remove mama right away as she is proned to eat them. (Could that be revenge?)

And so our birthing saga continues...more on the rest of this story as it unfolds.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Ghosts are running amuck in my house

No word of a lie, there are really ghosts at the center of everyone's attention today. We purchased 3 little ghosts today. Yes, ghosts. You can learn more about our little ghosts here.
The one thing we didn't realize when we got them is that one, for sure, is female and that one is, for sure, pregnant. You can see 15-20 little eggs and the kids have all ready noticed and realized what the scoop is.

This means separating mama shrimp from the rest, including our cannibal pink tetra. We still have the little fish nursery we had when the molly had her babies so I guess we can give it a shot to see if that will work. If it doesn't, we aren't really out anything. We will have 5 very disappointed kids though.

Note to self: Remember to ask associate at pet store to ensure we are not getting pregnant "pets" as this really adds to my work load. Case in point, staying up until 4 AM scooping mollies out of the tank and into nursery. However it is a cool experience and if the kids get to see it...educational.

Baby Steps

I took BabyK out for lunch this afternoon after we spent the morning getting groceries. We sat talking for awhile and I asked her what she may want for her birthday so dad & I can start looking around.

She told me she would have to think about that but told me that she is saving money to get 3 things she would really like. Those 3 things are not small purchases: a gymnastics mat, a computer and a drum set. I asked her how much money she had saved up. Her cheeks turned a bright shade of red, she looked a little sheepish and said "$1.96...".

You have to start somewhere, right? I mean Donald Trump's first million started with one dollar...

America's Next Top Model Meets Project Catwalk

The pictures I am about to show you will definitely need some clarification as our children DID leave the house looking like this this morning. It is Crazy Wacky Day at school and boy, did these girls go hog wild. With that brief explanation, I do believe the pictures will speak for themselves...

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I'm on the verge of losing "it"...whatever "it" is

I had given up, given up on school(LPN) and simply going for my Special Care Aide. Why? That answer is incredibly simple; in order to get into school for my LPN I have to get my grade 12 math and upgrade my biology. I decided it was going to be too hard to do that so I quit before I even started.

No, I did start because I had gotten my name on the waiting list for the high school classes and I just got my letter stating that my start date is April 20. and I set it down and told everyone that I didn't need that because I had simply decided to go for something else.

At work last night, and by that I mean BP's, one of the RN's that I know was there with his RN wife. I didn't serve them but I was at the till when he came to pay and we began talking about work and why was I at BPs too. I told him of my going to school for the SCA once Bug is in school full time and about how I had wanted to do the LPN but gave up. I got a bit of a lecture from him and needless to say he put a lot of thoughts back in my head and I woke up this morning, called my boss, made arrangements to be off work for 10 weeks and called the school to confirm my spot.

I am now in the middle of freaking out because I won't have any income and how am I going to pay for a full time sitter with no money and all that jazz. My biggest fear right now though is my fear of failing which is why I had mentally given up on school in the first place. There are a couple of possibilities for me with CanSask giving me some sort of allowance (seems unlikely but I am going to push it until they tell me no or YES) and then there is Provincial Training Allowance that I will be checking into through the school once that lady gets back to me. I have also come to the conclusion that I can get more shifts at BP's if I change my availability with them for those 10 weeks so things will work out. I would just really love to be able to do it with out our having to go further into debt or me working myself into a frenzy with school, work and homework. I would love to be able to concentrate a lot more on schoolwork than work.

The bonus is that the schooling is free so I don't have to worry about paying for that AT ALL; our only concern would be babysitting and the bills that I was paying for out of my checks. I am hoping and praying for a big income tax return so we can use that as well.

I am terrified of going back to school as any adult is; we all have those same fears. Can I do it? Am I smart enough? Will I have enough time? Will the other kids like me...(grin).

I can do it. I can do it...I CAN do it! Can I do it...?

Sunday, March 18, 2007

The Jig is Up

This time I can not lie; this time I mustn't lie. Strawberry Shortcake the Replacement 2 has met his untimely demise. I know; I know. Just like before we have gender confused fish at our house because Jellybean LOVES Strawberry Shortcake.

A few months ago we moved Strawberry Shortcake into the big tank with all the other fish and he flourished. He flourished, that is, until last week when the other fish decided that his time was drawing near and felt it was their duty to nibble his tail and fins off little by little. I moved Strawberry Shortcake into his own home as soon as I noticed the activity of these little cannibals but it was too late.

Strawberry Shortcake took his last breath...gulp...Strawberry Shortcake passed away peacefully in his home on Sunday, March 18, 2007 the year of our Lord. His passing will sadden some of us...some more than others and some still will barely notice but he was a great fish, as far as fish go, always considerate of the other fish and always, according to Jellybean, smiling. His presence will be missed especially around 9 pm every night (feeding time).

This time, I can not spare her feelings; this time I must tell her. She must learn that sometimes the people we love and, in this case, the fish we love, don't and can't stay with us forever. She must learn how to mourn it, accept it and move on from it. Death is inevitable. Her first lessons of a death of someone she sees most every day may as well come from the passing of a fish.

So, the jig is most definitely up; there will be no more deception in Strawberry Shortcake land. The replacement is irreplaceable. I do however, figure that this fish had a very good life considering it spanned the lives of 2 fish...can't beat that.

On Thoughts of Being a Bad Mom and of Lacking Faith

Yesterday was quite the day for me in my "mom world"; the kids had their swimming lessons so I thought it would be great to take the videocamera to capture their progress. I never would have imagined the extent of progress I would be capturing but am I ever glad that I thought to bring the camera. I am, however, a bit embarassed by it as well as we managed to capture my lack of faith also.

During Jellybeans swim lesson only 3 kids showed up and her instructor had the help of 2 teenagers who are learning to be swim instructors. They did their normal every day swim lesson stuff: floats, glides and everything was great. Great that is until someone down there decided that it would be great if they all went over to the deep pool (by deep I mean 12 feet) and jump off the diving board (the small one) with no lifejackets!!! Their only safety line was the fact that their instructor was in the pool to help them out.

I went into panic overload mode; the camera was shaking and I was spewing doubt and dismay out of my mouth for the entire mezzanine crowd to hear. The 2 boys went first and the "bravest" boy during swim lessons sat on the edge of the board and toppled in-no dive. The second boy went to the edge of the board and ,while standing, just sort of fell in too. I heard her instructor say, "Okay, H, it is your turn"; aackk! I prayed that she wouldn't do it, for her to change her mind, to chicken out even and I did it out loud...on videotape!!!

Jellybean slowly walked down the board and there was a glimmer of hope for me that she was going to turn around and climb down the stairs but no, she walked to the edge of the board, jumped up and down a couple of times and into the water. I don't think I was breathing as I waited for her to arrive safely on the pool edge again but she did make it. I thought to myself that that was great; she got it out of her system and now she wouldn't do it again. She walked back up the ladder, down the board, quicker this time and did. it. again! I must say that I am proud of her and that she is obviously a much braver soul than I but I was certain we were going to need an ambulance called for one or both of us. I was certain she wouldn't be coming up and that I was indeed capturing her last moments here on Earth or that I would have a heart attack before she had the chance to try.

In the change rooms she asked if she could please go on the diving board on Sunday when we went there for family swim. Uh, I don't think so.

Last night I was giving Jellybean and Bug the final dose of bug shampoo because I am entirely too paranoid about those things getting in my mess of hair and was just putting the shampoo in Bugs hair. It dripped down his forehead and onto his eyelid but before I could grab any kind of cloth to wipe it away, he wiped it into his eye and rubbed it in really well. Great! Tears began falling immediately; his or mine? I can't quite recall. I grabbed a cup, filled it with lukewarm water, did my best to pry his eyelids open and flushed his eye. I don't think my technique was great given the other variables I had to work with...wiggling, crying, screaming, mad at me 3 year old.

My very first seconds of instinct were that I needed to take him to the doctor...any doctor but I rationalized with myself very quickly and thought that I would just call the Health Help Line. She had me call Poison Control. Shudder! When I called them she told me to have my husband jump in the shower with him for 15 minutes to flush the eye out, let him play after the shower for about 15 minutes and call her back to let her know how he was doing.

My husband was gone to a hockey game so I grabbed my swim suit and Bug and I had a shower. That did not make him happy at all; he cried and cried and cried. Like a miserable mom I told him "that's okay baby; you keep crying". I did, however say it nicely to him but I had realized that if I can't get him in the shower flow properly these tears were going to help him more than I. I then set out to make him cry; I spanked him for no reason, took away all his toys, told him he could never watch Lightning McQueen again and said he could never have candy...I AM SO TOTALLY KIDDING!!! I NEVER DID OR SAID ANY OF THAT!!! What I really did was make a game out of getting his face into the water as much as I could while he was crying and hoped that we had gotten it out of his eye for the burning to stop.

I don't know which worked or if it was a combination of the tears and the shower but his eye was much better after that and I was able to sit in quiet reflection as to how I had had a completly bad mom day, how absolutely terrible I was and just as I was really entering into my pity party Rush tells me how the kids and herself really appreciated all the work I did to make them a green supper for St. Patrick's Day. SNAP!!! Pity party ended!

I guess we all unintentionally do these things to our kids. I did when I cut the tip of Rush's finger off instead of her fingernail when she was just days old. I did yesterday with the soap in Bug's eye and I know there are countless more stories but they have gotten over these stories; they don't even remember them. I am the only one needing therapy as a result and I guess I didn't really lack faith in Jellybean as she hurled herself off the diving board. I may have over reacted but I think I was showing good sense being leary about that happening since she can't swim, hates floating on her stomach and is only about 4 feet tall!!! I just hope she realizes just that as she looks back on this videotape in later years and doess't think it was her I was doubting.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Telemiracle does it, again.

Another Telemiracle weekend has come and gone and Saskatchewan has once more shown their generosity. This year Telemiracle raised $5, 583, 000, reaching a new record. I feel like Austin Powers when I say that, "$5 million, 5 hundred 83 thousand dollars".

Way too go, Saskatchewan.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

When a boy loves his pastor

Last night as I was saying bedtime prayers with Bug, who has just recently been diagnosed with asthma, I asked him if he believed that God could heal his lungs and make his asthma better. He told me "Yes and Jesus can too and Pastor Shane too!". He sure does love and admire his pastor...a lot.


Today I found myself sitting on the exam table at the doctor's office in nothing but a pale blue paper gown, my grey striped socks and my earrings, waiting for my doctor to enter the cold room to begin my exam. I seemed to sit there for an eternity but, according to the lying hands of the clock, it was only about 5 minutes. As he walked into the room he offered a friendly, doctorly smile and asked me how I was feeling. "Vulnerable", I replied.

What leaves you feeling the most vulnerable? Is it the wait or the next step where you are in said paper gown with your feet precariously placed in those great stirrups?