Thursday, June 29, 2006

The last graduation of the year...

Tuff graduated from elementary school to junior high so next year he will be attending Grade 7. They seem to grow up way too fast but what can you do to stop it?

They grow up so fast...sniff!

A new look for Jellybean

Jellybean decided that she needed her haircut as her hair was so long and is so thick; I agreed somewhat tentatively. Anyway, without further ado here is the before and after...



Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Well, the dear ladies over at mamasaysom have picked quite a hard theme this week and a challenging one to boot.

Give me a second as I take a deep breath and muster up the courage to type what I feel I must.

I had a great childhood (one, however, with a few major valleys); my teenage years were a roller coaster of good and bad and my early 20's were hell. I've had a lot of things in my life that I have needed to "get over" and in order to do that, I needed to fogive.

I needed to fogive my mom for leaving us in a way that made me feel unloved, insignificant and disposable.

I needed to forgive my dad for "having it in for me" or so it seemed.

I needed to forgive my grandpa and grandma for leaving me "alone" when they passed away.

I needed to forgive the teenage boy who killed my second cousin when he hit him with his truck.

I needed to forgive my 2 friends who chose to end their lives one month apart.

I needed to forgive my roommate for betraying me.

I needed to forgive 3 boys/men for taking from me something I chose not to give...

I NEED to forgive myself for "allowing" them to hurt me and for allowing them to take from me something I couldn't afford to lose, my sense of pride, self-worth, self love and trust...

I NEED to forgive myself for the dark path I chose to go down afterwards and the dark hole I woke up in...

I NEED to forgive myself for giving up on someone very important in my

Why is it so easy to forgive other people and so hard to forgive yourself...?

Friday, June 23, 2006

The graduate...

I am not going to write much of anything...I will just put some pictures on here for people to see. Busy, busy, busy...

The dress for under the gown...

Our graduate...with Honors!!!

The proud boyfriend...rejoicing! Actually he was standing on a chair so LilJ could see us after the ceremony.

BigB, LilJ and me. Apparently I can't even keep my mouth shut for pictures...(grin)

Ok, I'm done for tonight. I think you guys got the idea of how gorgeous and happy she looked!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

We caught a break in the weather

There was a spell between my having to get work done, supper-time and rain where we got to have our water fight; it last for only 15-20 minutes but it was time well spent. The pictures, I think, will speak for themselves.

Jellybean looks like she means business and I'll tell you what, she had an absolute blast.

Bug was giggling so hard I don't know how he ever managed to see anyone to spray them. He also always had a water balloon in his hand poised in the air however, none of those ever hit their mark either.

Rush is looking a bit fearful of getting wet but as the game progressed she felt she wasn't wet enough and turned the hose on herself. Take a look at those storm clouds in the back.

By the way, I couldn't tell Jellybean that her fish was doing more (or less) than sleeping so I snuck in a new one when I went to buy cat food today. I just couldn't do it. I am weak!! Weak I tell you!! She has managed other fishy deaths maybe it's just because I am not feeling well...

What I was doing at 2 in the morning

This is what I spent my night doing last night (aside from yearning for a 24 hour Wal Mart).
We have mini Reeses peanut butter cups with a chocolate covered (square) cookie and a tassled fruit roll up to make a cap and mozzarella cheese strings cut in half and tied with a pull-apart licorice string to make diplomas. They were a tad bit time consuming but I thought a cute little addition to the graduation festivities. Today I have put together rose bowls filled with clear gel, red and silver "graduation" confetti and red floating candles; they will be center pieces for the tables on Saturday. I will also be making "graduation" themed chocolates, slicing vegetables like you wouldn't believe and sneaking off to buy a brand new red betta fish.

We were going to have our year-end water fight and bubble extravaganza but we do have a thunderstorm looming overhead and growling at our every move...we'll have to see but I know the kids will be very, very disappointed.

This morning he's sleeping in...

Jellybean thinks her fish is very tired and is sleeping in...

I don't really want to send her off to school in mourning so I may just have to wait to tell her the news.

This is not going to be fun...

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

It's a sad, sad day in Berryland

Well, as I mentioned in the tail end of my last post, Strawberry Shortcake, the betta fish, was struggling to keep swimming. The seizures have ended. He has now gone on to the big berry patch in the sky to be with all the other poor, poor male fish with a feminine name like his.

Breakfast, tomorrow, will NOT be fun. What a sad day to end the school year, with the death of the fish who helped you begin the school year. Well, here's to Strawberry Shortcake; he was a good (if not sexually mixed up) fish.

Jellybean done gradumicated...

Seriously though, yesterday Jellybean graduated from Kindergarten. They had a little tea where the Kindergarten class entertained us with some of their favorite poems from throughout the year and fed us with rice krispie squares, cookies and teeny little cherry cheesecake tarts. They didn't have a "cap and gown" ceremony but they still received their "diplomas".

Here are a couple of pictures from the event...

On a very sad note, as I type this Jellybean's fish, Strawberry Shortcake (the male betta fish my friend, Jaimie gave her) is in the middle of dying and she will wake up in the morning to him being "gone". He is having little fishy seizures and I find myself almost in tears because I can't make it better and Jellybean's little heart will be broken. Dang it! Why can't we have a 24 hour Wal Mart?! It's a sad, sad day in Strawberry Shortcake's home tonight. Pardon me while I wipe the tears and blow my nose and mourn the loss of Jellybean's dear, dear fishy friend.

Going a little nuts

That's right...I'll finally admit it. I may, perhaps, be going nuts. Well not really but I am so busy right now with planning grad, all the year end school events for 4 kids, getting food prepared for grad, I am sick, Bug is sick...

I feel fine;okay, denial move over. I feel not too bad; I am very tired and at times my body is so achy I can feel the roots of my hair, eyelashes and toenails. The biggest annoyance of my being sick is the fact that right now I have (warning graphic description of bodily emissions in near present) superfluidous (I made that up in my delirium last night) nasal emissions that I can't seem to get anything accomplished aside from blowing my nose. I am so tempted to grab a couple of regulars out of my O.B. box and get to work.

Bug was up about 200 times last night; thankfully BigB took care of him. This morning the Bug is about as annoying as a mosquito. His voice is making him sound like he's whining when he isn't however, he spends 98% of the day whining and the other 2% crying. I keep trying to remind myself that he is sick but that whining is such a "push-me-over-the-edge" sound. I have been going around reciting a brand new mantre just for the day...He's sick; he's sick...remember, he's sick.

So now, I am going to go attempt to finish LilJ's scrapbook for grad and that ought to be fun, perhaps those tampons will become a reality as I don't know how much I will really be able to do what with my leaking nasal passage and having my head down to work on this book...wish me luck

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Don't rush through life...Saunter.

Bug and DeeDee. These cousins are 2 months apart but from the beginning of their time have always had to hold hands. Here they are taking a stroll through the pasture, checking on the cattle and on their way to visit the horses. They fell way back from the group, just holding hands, sauntering along, enjoying the scenerey and being, just, with each other.

We could learn so much from watching moments like this...take time to show loved ones just how much you care, when you are together, enjoying just being together, don't rush through life and never take the opportunity to enjoy the path you get to take along the way...

And if you look at the very top of the picture you see another example of sauntering with the same life lessons. My Jellybean and her Uncle S enjoying being together.

Enjoy your life. Try not to rush through it...try to simply saunter...


Monday, June 12, 2006

This Week's (and my first)Theme: Comfort

Something new I thought I might try is over at a website called; each week you get a different theme to write about, photograph or interpret. I'll give it a go.


It's been years, 19 in fact, since our trailer burnt down that cold day in February and my heart still freezes yet simultaneously races at the mere thought of an uncontrolled fire. Fire...can bring comfort on a cold, blizzardy day, can comfort a wounded heart as it mourns a relationship burning memories, can comfort an empty stomach as it cooks a meal and can strip comfort away as it devours your home...

Funny how something that can be such a comfort under controlled circumstances causes such havoc when uncontained...

He's an adult now...

Okay, okay...I'm in denial because he's been married for almost 2 months and I am just now saying he's an adult. Perhaps the title is a smidge misleading but I digress.
LilB turned 20 years old today! Yup! 20 years old! Oi!!! I could be feeling old. I could be feeling depressed that I have a 20 year old, married son who could make me a grandmother within the next 9 months. Perhaps I would be feeling this way...perhaps, if I couldn't fall back on the fact that I am his step-mom. Whew! I was almost in need of some heavy duty sedation for a minute.

All joking aside, LilB I am so proud to call you my son and honored by the man you have become. You have a good, level, head on your shoulders and a wisdom that has, at times, astonished me (there have been fleeting moments, however fleeting, that I worried about you).

So, to you, my son, I sing as loudly and as off key as I can possibly stand an overdone B.P.'s rendition of "Happy Birthday" as I proclaim to the World how proud I am of my son (THE CO-ORDINATOR FOR WRC'S CALL CENTER!!!! big job!!! huge!!!)!!! Your dad and I love you more than you could ever stand! Keep up the good work! Take care of your good wife and God bless!!!

Weather or not...

Yes, I spelled that right. The rain here is getting a bit depressing. It hasn't really let up and when it actually isn't raining, it is cold and dreary. Even when the sun does come out for an ever so brief moment, it is STILL raining. I think this picture of Bug speaks for all of us...

P.S. This picture was taken on a day when it was raining like a son of a gun one minute and beautiful the next so he was waiting for his chance to get o.u.t.s.i.d.e!

Friday, June 09, 2006

You Just Never Know When

Yesterday we found out that this man, who BigB worked very closely with over the last 5 years died. There were still speculations of this being a rumor as it was a complete shock to every one. Bob was a young man (45 years old) and very athletic so to hear of his passing was incredulous. Needless to say, Bill is upset and in complete shock. Lesson learned here: Live life to the fullest and make sure you always live your life right.
Here is the newspaper clip that we got today...

Freak slo-pitch accident claims ______'s "Baseball Bob"

Suzanne Boyer

A ______ man is dead after a freak accident during a pre-season slo-pitch game early Saturday evening at the Western Development Museum ball diamonds.
Bob _____, known as Baseball Bob in sports circles, was playing shortstop for a men's 10-man league team called the Chiefs when he went after a ball that went up the midfield, between himself and the second baseman.
"It just happened so fast," explained Cory ______, one of the team managers, who was playing right field.
"It was a freak accident that you don't expect just going out to play ball, that's for sure.
"The ball was going up the middle, with a runner on first, and Bob, if you knew him, was a never-give-up sort of player, and he went for the ball," Cory said.
It appears the 45-year-old then attempted to tag second base.
"The second baseman was cutting the other way and they were both heading in the same direction, and Bob, I think, had his head down, and (the second-baseman) caught him with a shoulder."
Cory said he saw Bob's head connect with the other player.
"It looked like he just spun off him and hit the ground."
* * *

Monday, June 05, 2006

Dress rehearsal for Fancy dinner, when we actually got to take pictures.

2 of the advanced Hip Hop girls doing their competition routine. This group's routines are always so phenomenal to watch.

The Prima Ballerina FINALLY got her flowers. She got roses from Grandma and Grandpa, her brothers and sisters, her Aunt and cousin, G.G. (great grandma), the pink gerbera from Mom and Dad and the pink ballerina hippo on behalf of LilB and DearN because she really wished they could be there. It seemed to make her day to have a little way to have them a part of that day so I am so glad I picked it up.

Saturday, June 03, 2006


Well, it is 10:49 and we just got Jellybean tucked into bed after another incredible dance recital. We still have one left tomorrow afternoon and we are done for yet another year. She is all ready looking forward to the start of next year's ballet class.

I get so emotional at these dance recitals; every year I end up crying because I am so-o proud of all of the kids and all of their hard work throughout the year. The final song is always Fame and the kids come on-stage groups at a time to take their final bow and stand there as they always get a standing ovation. The pride and excitement that is on their faces overwhelms me to tears as does my own pride.

This year the owners, a husband and wife, did a little number where he sang and she performed a beautiful ballet. The song was something to the effect of "the little children are watching what you do...they are learning from you...", a touching song all on its own. They had to add a powerpoint presentation with pictures of the kids from the dance studio.

I had to cry...

...are any of you actually surprised?

I have something to tell you all but only if you can keep a secret.

Well? Can you?

Okay, I'll tell you.

I knew I would cry when we watched Miss Jellybean dancing; I wasn't prepared to see BigB tear up as well...

Don't tell a soul...

Life Lesson TLC forgot

The title of this was inspired by a post that Christie did a little while ago.

Here is MY life lesson for TLC. Never, and I repeat never, go bathing suit shopping when you are in the middle of your mensus (grin) when you all ready feel like you need to lose 50 pounds.

What an excellent post for my 200th post...