Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Slow thyself cruel, cruel clock

Yes, time marches on and on and on but it certainly doesn't march slowly.

A year ago I held a beautiful baby girl in my arms, craddled her next to me, smelled the sweet fragance of "new baby" and felt her warm breath on my cheek and her soft fingers grip mine. Today I watched that beautiful baby girl stride gracefully across the gymnasium as she said farewell to elementary school and as she began to anticipate new challenges, new goals, new experiences, new hardships and new sacrifices in high school.
Man!!! This motherhood thing sucks!!! What other group of people spend their entire life (from beginning of motherhood until the day we die) watching their heart walk around before them, watching their heart experience joys, hurts, hopes, despairs, discouragments and dreams? Ok, maybe dads do too but I think it is different; I think that maybe there isn't quite the same connection. Dads can be a little more detached but only due to the fact that it wasn't them that had that first internal bond and loved from that very first notion of life.

Today I watched my heart graduate from Grade 8 and has she ever turned into a kindhearted, intelligent, beautiful and graceful young woman. I could not be more proud of you at this moment!

I feel fear right now though; I fear how fast I know these next 4 years go. I have been here before, twice, and I know how fleeting these last 4 years are so, please cruel clock, slow thyself...

1 comment:

The Pedersons said...

Oh my gosh! When did she grow up??? She looks absolutely amazing. Awhhh.
When I picked up Cailyn the other day on her last day of Kindergarten, all I could do was cry as I realized she's already finished a full year of school. There's no turing back now. Milestones are inportant but they can hurt so much. And, yes, your heart is no longer yours when you have children.
Again, Rush is beautiful. Tell her I said so, and congratulations. And, good luck to you as you try to hold yourself together!