Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Round is a shape, right? (And an invitation)

(Note: at the bottom of this post is an invitation some may not want to overlook...)

I am going to attempt to stay positive in this post as BigB sometimes gets after me (on this particular topic) to quit speaking negativity and death. This topic is a difficult one for me to remain positive about. In the past few years I have gained a fair bit of weight (it should be fair to mention that at the beginning of those years I was considerably underweight and struggling with an intense eating disorder). I still have a warped notion of what my body really looks like and see something completely different from what other people see; I have just reached the point in my life where the fear of my weight doesn't rule me (unfortunately, I think my love of food has begun to).

I went for a walk at lunch time with some of the ladies from work and I realized how completely out of shape I was and that I NEED to work on that. I am at a point where I not only want to lose weight I feel that panic rising up in me, the same panic that controlled me for over a decade and brought me down to a dangerous 110 lbs.

I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I will be making Him my source through this journey I embark on. I refuse to allow an eating disorder to dictate my health and influence the way my daughters think they need to be or give them a false image to strive for.

I am by no means implying that I will never sit down with my kids and eat an ice cream cone or go on a hot date with my husband to enjoy spinach and artichoke dip. I will still enjoy those things and my life but they will be limited. I am tired of putting garbage in my body and expecting it to not effect my body's ability to function.

How can I expect to be as busy in the Kingdom of God as I want to be, to be as involved a mom as I wish to be with a garbage-laden diet and a physical health that is sub par?

I have created a "Summer Meal Plan" that involves lots of veggies, fruits and leaner cuts of meat and healthier ways of cooking (lots of grilling). I am hoping that by having this plan in place we will prevent "emergency" runs to the local fast food restaurant to feed our family and we will ALL WIN. I will spend part of the summer planning and organizing a "Late Fall/Winter Meal Plan" that will implement these same ways of healthier choices, including snacks.

Now to start exercising more because I don't think, as jumping as they are, that our worship services at church 2 days a week are cutting it on the physical activity front.

I think I need accountability though, a partner to help me but not a dictator. Anyone want to join me on this venture? I am open to anyone, near or far, someone who can slap me upside the head physically or someone who has to give me a virtual slap through an email.

I can't blame it on baby weight anymore, considering my baby will be 6 years old this summer. So, if you are interested in joining me, let me know and we can become members of the "I am in shape" club instead of the "Round is a shape, right?" club.


CL said...

Ok count me in girl... so the same path I am on right now.... when do we start?

Love Mom said...

right now!