And perhaps that is not even the correct word to depict what I am feeling. What I do know is I am feeling something that is not on the side of pleasant and joyful, while still remaining pleasant and joyful. Confused? Good. Me too. Now I have company. So grab a cup of coffee, juice, water, pop...whatever suits your fancy and join my not-letting-a-pity-party-happen party.
We have been in the process of trying to find a vehicle to buy that will fit all of us comfortably, something reliable, that will not be pulled off the road if we get stopped in a safety inspection and that is dirt cheap (I am even leaning toward free but I can't be pushy).
BigB's boss had a super cab, Chevy Silverado, long box sitting in his yard doing nothing. Nada. Zip. BigB's co-worker looked at it and said it was a good truck. BigB approached The Boss Man and asked if he was willing to sell it, had to ask his wife, things seemed good, "take truck home to see if it will fit your family nicely", truck makes us all smile (it has a great sounding engine. Diesel! Score!), take truck back to The Boss Man this morning and NOW his wife doesn't know if she wants it sold because it, what, looked really pretty sitting in the yard? They have other vehicles; this isn't like he was ripping their only vehicle out from under them; he doesn't use this truck (they don't use this truck) and we would use it. We would love it and it would be our truck (think Dory off of Finding Nemo when she was talking about the jellyfish, Squishy.)
At this point of the day, we are back to not knowing if we have or don't have a vehicle and we have a daughter who needs to get out to the country this evening to begin a weekend of work again. We need groceries and I am trying to remain positive and hopeful and, most importantly, focused on God, who will provide us with a vehicle. I still have no doubt of that. I think I am merely disappointed that we are at a standstill and on this cliff of indecision and are waiting for the decisions of one who is seemingly being doubleminded about this whole thing.
Friday, May 15, 2009
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