Dr., I have an itch...or an ulcer

Honestly I do but not THAT kind of an itch. I need no creams, ointments and what-not; what I need is to be off from work around 1:00 PM. so I can be home with my children. I can tell you that I really dislike stat holidays.

I am sure you are screaming, "What?!" at your monitors right now but I do. It's like they are put there to tease me or taunt me. "You get your kids today but, tomorrow, nah, not so much."

I loved being home yesterday when Bug got home from school. Yes, I am aware yesterday was a stat but the kids had school as we switched their holiday from yesterday to this coming Friday to accomodate for our conference. I loved being able to give him his lunch, to make sure he was eating it all (& not just the Wagon Wheel) and to get his sweet, willing-to-learn help as I made lasagnas and sandwiches and breakfast burritos (teaching math as we went along). I adored having him scooch over and snuggle in, making sure there was no space between us, to snuggle just for a minute and to hear Jellybean's sing-songy voice call out as she burst through the door to see if she could have an after-school snack.

It was my joy to have supper ready and waiting for my husband as he walked in the door after a long, hard day's work and to know that I had made Rush's after-school moments easier with a lasagna ready and waiting for her in the fridge to just pop in the oven for tonight's meal. I felt so capable as a parent knowing that, when Rush has a morning, like this morning, where it is painful for her to lift her sleeping body from her bed (due only to teenageritis & a head cold) or her hair or make-up takes a bit more time perfecting, there are breakfast burritos in my freezer ensuring she will have a nutritional breakfast. (By the way, those burritos cost less than $0.50 each to make.)

I don't want to not work because I feel that, as in the past, I would feel poorly about "not contributing" to the family's financial situation (not that SAHM need to feel that way but more because I can't get the not working thing totatlly out of my system, yet.)but, I don't want to be at work when my kids are at home. In fact, it feels like an ulcer in my spirit when I know they are at home and I am at work.