Don't just stand there; fight!

"Everyone knows we are in a religious war. Terrorists call it a holy war. So where are our holy men? Where are our clerics and spiritual leaders who should be guiding us through this war? They are down at the coffee shop chilling out with a latte and telling folks that God loves them. Is that what God is saying to us as a nation, "Smile, I love you"? We have become a nation of cupcake preachers. Our religious men and women are more confused than King Saul was. He didn't know what to do about Goliath and my absurd religion has no idea what to do about terror.

The fighting and hunting down of the world's leading terrorists has been difficult, frustrating and costly. The average American, although believing in God, has never even considered divine intervention as an option. Even sadder is the fact that it hasn't crossed most preachers' minds either.

Another way that my absurd relgion has made terror absurd is in the area of negotiations. My absurd religion thinks God is a pacifist who would never pick a fight much less stand up for himself. It has no faith for even a modest God intervention. So with what does that leave us? It leaves us with negotiations. We want to sit down at the peace table and work something out. That's like a native American Indian chief smoking the peace pipe with the cavalry and expecting a fair deal.

You cannot negotiate with terrorists because they do not want to make peace. They don't want to strike a deal that is fair to everyone. They have no intention of sharing. They intend to destroy until what they are mad about is gone."

I think Pastor Steve is bang on in what he is saying in this chapter called Absurd Terror from "My Absurd Religion". Too many people that I talk to view God as an uninvolved father and Jesus as a soft-spoken man carrying a lamb on his shoulders and that is it. What happened to the story of Jesus fashioning a whip and overturning tables in the temple. He was angry. He isn't some guy who got beat up, died on the cross for us and that is it. He isn't waiting in Heaven to one day be our king. He is our king NOW. He is a conquering, reigning king NOW - not a someday he'll come and reign. The train of his garment is long like that of a victorious king and victorious kings engage in battle.

I think we need to put an end to passive christianity; we need to stop accepting everything as "that's just the way it is" and learn to stand up for and fight for righteousness and for the honor that our king deserves.

Buy a copy of this book yourself and see what Pastor Steve has to say. I think everyone should read it at least once so they can see for themselves just how absurd religion is becoming in this nation.

Not just your Sunday book.

"If you don't live the Bible everyday, you become disqualified to use it for special purposes."

Quote taken from My Absurd Religion by Pastor Steve Gray.

Notice this doesn't say "read the Bible everyday"; we need to LIVE the Bible everyday and not just put on our "spiritual" hats on Sunday morning for an hour service (that most churches have) before we head to the buffet or home, to our slow-cooked roast. We need to wake up each morning and live out the word of God.

I remember when I was working at the hospital and in the process of getting accepted into school one of my supervisors told me that she was praying I didn't get in (not to be mean; she was saying it in a form of a compliment as she didn't want me to be leaving); I had to supress a laugh when she said that as the thought ran through my head, "I'm not too worried about that being answered." Now she is not a bad person and I am not judging her based on that as she does have a good heart but I have never seen any fruit to point that she lives the Bible at all.

The people I worked with never understood why I would ever "put myself" through church services that are as long as our services are. In no way do I intend to imply that sermons have to be long to be powerful but, they would sit in an hour long sermon in a church that is being suffocated by "religion/tradition" where the power of God is pretty well non-existent and be bored senseless. I have been there! I have been in those hour long services that leave you shifting left, right, left, right, until both butt cheeks are so asleep you feel like you are going to go insane!

Then I went to Kansas City for the first time ever to World Revival Church and sat in on my first 3 hour service and I wasn't bored once; in fact, I was on the edge of my seat and left wanting more. "You mean it's over? We have to leave now? Are you sure you didn't miss a page?"

Now I attend a church where I am there from 9:30 a.m. (due to sound check, pre-morning prayer and then service) until usually 3:30-4:00 and people give me that look that screams ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU MAD? SUNDAY IS 'ME' TIME! Does that make me better than you? Most certainly not. I am just wanting to share with you that I have been in several of those "hour long, out by noon, get you to the buffet in time" churches and left their feeling unfulfilled, restless, tired, glad it was over and yet proud that I had fulfilled my "moral goodness" by showing up and warming my seat. I have also been in 3 churches that have those "long services" (you know the ones most people think would be torturous) and have left them feeling connected, equipped, renewed and not wanting to leave just yet. Why? What was the difference? God showed up in one type of service and not the other. Not that it was the length that had anything to do with it but the pastor's passion to preach the word of God and not some humanistic drivel; it had to do with the pastor's heart to see God glorified and His power and presence be present.

It's just like Christmas

Thinking back to when I was a young girl, I remember the Christmas count down and the jittery feeling of excitment on Christmas Eve and the not being able to fall asleep due to the anticipation. I find myself feeling that way RIGHT NOW!

Facebook revealed a secret to me!

Billy's status read: William is EXCITED to be going to Canada!

I was all WHAT!?! If he is coming to Canada, HE HAD BETTER BE COMING HERE! So I, as calmly as I could, messaged him, asking him to what he was referring to.

He sent me one back stating that Friday, after work he will be leaving to come back for a week. First stop: Nipawin. He will be at our house on Wednesday through to Saturday sometime when he leaves.

Now, take note, when I say "he" I don't know if I am meaning "they" or not yet. I am not sure if Nat is able to come to, wants to come or is coming...at this point of the day.

So, there are 6 more sleeps until we get to see him/them! I am SO NOT telling Jellybean and Bug because I really would like to see someone pee themselves from surprise and excitment for real life just once! Seriously! I am NOT kidding! Well...maybe. Kinda. Sort of. Not really. I do think it WOULD be funny.

At a Crossroads

That's how I have been feeling lately. I am moving forward and there are people that I seem to be "leaving behind"; people that don't want to move forward. I have been trying to hang onto those people but I think it's time to let go and completely move on. How can I continue to move forward while hanging onto them? Seems to be a bit too much baggage for me to bring on this walk.

My spirit is mourning for those I "leave" as are my personal emotions. I continue to love them and pray for them but I think certain ties need to be broken in order to free me up. I feel tied down - not capable of going higher with these yolks.

On a lighter and happier note: I am really glad to be able to go visit my dad & Jude tomorrow night with the kids. It's going to be great!

I don't wanna be a hypocrite

"People are not the only ones who don't like hypocrisy. God has a strong distaste for it, too, according to what the Bible says. He calls hypocrisy "yeast". What is the main thing yeast does? It takes over a lot of dough. A little bit of yeast can make a whole batch of dough rise, change shape, and become something different. God likes good metaphors, so when he saw hypocrisy among his followers, he thought yeast was the best picture of what hypocrisy does. It affects the whole church by silently invading it and changing it from the inside out."

"Dualism: It's Greek to Me
Here's how to be a hypocrite: Compartmentalize your life. Divide the spiritual from the material. Be two different people in those two arenas. That's exactly what religion has done, and as a result religion doesn't allow people to be fully human and to experience God in every aspect of life. We lead sub-divided lives. Religion has not even allowed us to enjoy. It has put enjoyment in the fleshly category and, therefore, it is evil.

Most people don't want to be hypocrites, but they don't always know how to be otherwise. I think hypocrisy is a learned behavior that we got from the ancient Greeks. They came up with this idea called "dualism," which says that the spirit world is separate from the material world. In Greek philosophy and religion, the physical body is considered evil. Physical pleasrues are evil andin a real spiritual person ought to create guilt feelings..."

Taken from the book "My Absurd Religion by Which I Make My Living" by Pastor Steve Gray.
Want to finish his thoughts on this matter? Check out Amazon.com and get your own copy.

Mamas Unite

I've been spending a bit of time - ok, you got me, too much time lately checking out the blog of a mom of 4 gorgeous kids. She is a funny lady, a great photographer, a Christian and her youngest son has a HUGE testimony that will leave you crying, then rejoicing then crying then rejoicing and completely on the edge of your seat (which is why I have been spending too much time with this blog family as of late.)

Dixie, she was even blogging from the hospital as she went through this and I know you would love to read all about her McMiracle baby.

If you have a spare few minutes - or a free afternoon check out MckMama's blog.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

But where, then, is Bill Cosby? If we are about to do this we need Bill! Evidently there was a miscommunication and he was double-booked or something so we are doing this sans Billy Cosby. Well, we can make the best of it, right?

Sometimes my children (well, all children but I only know what mine say) say things or even do things that leave me try so hard to not laugh at them that I feel I may burst or, at the very least, pee my pants. Take this morning for example: Bug has been in a real odd state of mind as of late and I, personally, am blaming it on every weather man who tells us it will still be minus 30 in March! Bug got a LONG sliver straight under his pinkie fingernail this morning and asked "what in the heck that is" as I pulled it out. I explained to him that it was a sliver and off he went without another word and without hesitation to gobble up his Cheerios. During our morning prayer with everyone, BigB asked if anyone needed prayer for anything and Bug pipes up that he needs prayer for his "pinkie fingver" (remember he is losing all his teeth and with that he has developed some weird lispy thing). BigB asked what was wrong with the finger and Bug explains to him, "Dis mornin' I had a suave in it and it's still hurtin'".

Just try to keep a straight face while praying when you have that level of cuteness and hilarity to contend with.

Fastforward to all of us in the van going to the places we all need to be at, at all the same time. We saw a Coach passenger bus (the one that carries our local WHL hockey team) and I asked BigB why they need to have an Alaskan plate on the bus when it is a coach from our province. He was explaining that it had something to do with having to pay taxes when in Alaska if you don't blah, blah, blah. I think I stopped listening when it wasn't an exceptionally interesting reason. Bug chirped from the back seat about how he misses his favorite hockey player (the one who he clicked with at the library group) and that he wants "to go, with Daddy, again, to see those guys pay their taxes."

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ONLY HALF LISTEN TO SOMETHING? You think that hockey players pay their taxes and that paying your taxes is just as much fun as playing hockey because it is the same thing because DAD SAID! Good thing we got it all straight in his head now and he, apparently, "gets it now".

On another note, Jellybean and Bug learned quite a few more signs with Rush's help after supper. I think the list of last night's signs include the following: sick, not, funny, gross, toilet, good night, cute and I believe that is it. I was working on signing the alphabet a bit with Bug while I tucked him into bed. He thinks this signing stuff is great and LOVES to show what he is learning to Daddy.

He just won't let up!

Bug's tooth came out at the sitter's today and, as I was getting him tucked into his bed tonight, he says, "So, you think she'll be bringing me straight money this time?"


Sheesh!

Uh, I...don't...think so!

Bug as another wiggly tooth; it has been since he lost the first one but I think he forgot to work at it. So here sits this tooth with the replacement a quarter grown in all ready but a fair ways behind where it should be properly placed. I have, since noticing this, been reminding Bug to wiggle his tooth.

He is all ready setting himself up to be quite the business man though. Take a gander at what he said to me through wiggles and grimaces.

Bug: So, ah, Mom, you fink fer dis one I can get some straight money?

Me: (As I try to quickly decipher the meaning of 'straight money' and realizing it means bills and not coins, and try to not laugh my butt off at him.) Buddy, that would be a VERY expensive tooth. The smallest amount of straight money is $5 and I don't think teeth go for that...unless you're a dentist. Sorry.

The Fountain of Youth

I have come to know my husband well enough over the last few years that when his youngest two children are bathing together, and I see out of the corner of my eye that they are both lying down, side by side, in the tub and I hear them begin to giggle uncontrollably saying, "Look Mom, we're a fountain!", I had probably better NOT look.

Hi, I am mom, Juice Box Hero...

It seems like the last couple of weeks things have been up in the air for us; we didn't quite know what was going on with the car or if the van could be fixed or if we could buy Papa Joe's car or why BigB hadn't gotten his pay check yet, among other things.

We didn't panick or freak out or worry or fret; we simply stayed our ground (sometimes an amazing feat when it seems you aren't even touching the ground). We relied on who we should rely on; which, by the way, is not yourself or some type of system but God. God is our source; our pay check isn't our source and we relied on that - on Him.

How rewarding in the end! We found out that we would be getting $1465.00 from SGI for the car (which we probably could have sold before the accident for $600-$800); our van was fixed for under $500 and is back on the road. We are buying Papa Joe's car (from what I understand) for $800 (I think) and BigB is getting a pay check very shortly; the people he works for just didn't know some loose ends that needed tied up. Yay!

This weekend we are planning a Wii party for the kids. They each are having one friend stay over on Saturday and we will play Wii (maybe even rent a couple games that we don't have for something new to try), order a couple loaded pies (never mind there will be 5 year old boys and 8 year old girls; make those cheese pies), get some munchies and have a real, live shindig for the kids.

We have been on a real purging streak for the last while and it is a slow-going process. I have, so far, taken 7 bags of clothes out that are too small (just for the girls!) and have another 3 gathered all ready. Last night I didn't get much accomplished, housework-wise but I did get another month of pictures into and labeled in our photo album (from there it will be easy to copy the information to the kids' albums), rubbed Rush's neck and back, found her the heat pad (sock) to wrap around her neck and got some laundry done...well, washed & dried.

On tonight's agenda: bath Jellybean & Bug, work on Rush's neck again, get more laundry done, get lunches made, finish up with the pictures I have left to do from last night and possibly start going through my clothes to see what I can get rid of.

I am Mom...that makes me a Juicebox hero! (Something Bug called me the other day.) Do I get a cape with that, Bug?

Your Honor, I object! He's badgering the juror!

This morning I go to the Court House for my first ever Juror Summons and I must have been thinking about that as I drifted off to sleep last night as I ended up having a strange dream about the whole thing.

It started off with me in this grungy wooden box sitting on a blue milk rate while the two lawyers starting rattling off questions at me. When were you born? Is that your true hair color? Are you wearng matching socks? What did you eat for breakfast? When is the last time you ate carbohydrates? Pretty soon their questioning came at me like a couple of German Shepherd Drug Dogs finding the mother load...bar...bar...bar...bar...BARK, BARK, BARK, BARK!!!

These two lawyers hurling their questions at me through their barks eventually sounded like a constant rumble and the noise got louder and louder until...it woke me up. However, I still heard the noise and thought I must still be sleeping. That is, until I gained enough consiousness to realzie that the constant rumble that had woke me from my dream was not the lawyers and their ridiculous questions but my real life husband SNORING!

And if you thought THAT was bad

Most of you know that our poor Regal was totalled off a couple weeks ago when it was brutally and senselessly rear-ended. (OK, maybe I am being overly dramatic but I think that may be a genetic malfunction!) Since this heinous act the trunk has not fit properly; meaning, when you think the trunk is closed it really isn't and it is always on the verge of open...somewhat latched but not really close, not even a little bit.

So, let's put the above variable with the bumpy, ice-built-up streets and what hypothesis do you reach? I can tell you! As each bump is hit the trunk bounces up ever. so. slightly. You can see the momentum of the trunk climb as each bump is hit and eventually you spend the entire drive looking in the rear view mirror waiting for the trunk to rudely and inconsideratly hurl itself into the rear window! IT NEARLY TAKES YOUR BREATHE AWAY!

Thankfully, on this trip the trunk would bounce ever so slightly open and then bounce itself ever so slightly, not really even close to closed and repeat said cycle. Still not something I would recommend for someone with a nerve or hert condition. Thankfully, I AM STABLE AS A ROCK!

Ahem...

Hanging by a moment

That's how I felt, like at any moment, what I feared (and I use the term loosely), was going to happen would happen. BigB had called to let me know he was done school and ready to be picked up. I ran out the door balancing mitts, phone and all those other important run-out-the-door items. My hands were so full I couldn't get the car keys unlodged from my coat pocket so I did the only thing I could think of to free a hand...took my cell phone, which is on vibrate, and clenched it in my teeth. No sooner was I completely committed to this act when the thought hit me "HE IS SO TOTALLY GONNA CALL ME RIGHT NOW, ISN'T HE!?"

A few anxiety ridden moments later (heh, my front teeth are not authentic as I knocked THEM out learning to skate backwards in those ridiculous danger boots on blades with picks when I was 5 1/2) I settled into the car and spat out the phone call-less. WHEW!

Sit for a bit and get to know us on a much deeper level. :D

What are your middle names?My middle name is Melanie. BigB's middle name is Arthur. Now guess whose middle name Rush wanted when she wanted to change her last name when she was 6 years old. Yeppers, not mine!

How long have you been together?We have been married for 9 years this June and together since 1997. Crap! Has it been THAT long? Wow!

How long did you know each other before you started dating? Um a few months. We had met in a bar. He liked me; I thought he was really weird in a backwoods, hillbilly, red-neck kind of way and he stared at me WAY TOO LONG before we had even talked to each other. Well, technically I had all ready talked to him but yelling at him to get out of my way while I ran my puking friend to the bathroom totally doesn't count!

Who asked whom out? We had gone out a couple of times as "friends" with a group of people. Little did I know what "friends" really meant. So, I guess that doesn't count. I asked him to babysit for me while I was working my night job at the bar and he never left. So, uh...I guess me.

How old are each of you?I'm 34 and he is 41. Do you know how much fun it is to remind him that he was married with a kid and I was still in high school or that while I was in grade 12 his son was in kindergarten or that the tv shows he watched I only saw as re-runs?

Whose siblings do you see the most? Well, we see his brother once a year tops so I guess mine. Yay! I win!

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? Well, I guess that would have to be the fact that I get stressed out over not being able to work part-time and being home more with the kids and taking care of the kids and keeping my house as clean as it was when I was on maternity leave. Oh, how i long for those days when I had the time to be able to make rainbow cups and worms and dirt for my children...Ah, the good ole days.

Did you go to the same school? Nope, we sure didn't. In fact our high schools were rival high schools, just like the T-birds and the Scorpions. We hated L.P. Miller! Mustangs ROCK! I went to Office Admin and he went into GeekNerd; totally different schools needed for those classes.

Are you from the same home town? No, I grew up country gal cool and he grew up in a small town with a statue of a white fox (weird).

Who is smarter?What kind of smarter are we talking about here because I am more of a school smart and he is more of a LOVEMOM COULD YOU PLEASE STOP WRECKING COMPUTERS kind of smart. His strengths are my weaknesses and my strengths, his weaknesses. In the immortal words of Jerry Maguire "You complete me". GAG! No really, we do.

Who is the most sensitive?I refuse to answer this question on grounds that it may incriminate me and be used in a court of law somewhere.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?Um, hello we don't really have any good places here in town but we LOVE going to Kansas City to go to Mongolian BBQ. Well, that's not the only reason because that would be an unbelievably, stupidly expensive date.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?From the edge of divorce to restoration. Is that far enough or do you want a carnal answer? Fine then! Go with the boring, non-rejoicing answer! Kansas City, MO.

Who has the craziest exes? Could you give me a little more clarity on your definition of crazy...?

Who has the worst temper? BigB is quick tempered but I am more volcanoish in nature so in our very different ways I think we are equal. However, we are both working on eliminating my answer here. Yay us!

Who does the cooking?Rush but only because I work until 5. I make the meal plan though and do as much prep-work as I can so I guess we tag team as much as possible. There are dishes BigB makes that we could NOT LIVE WITHOUT like pizza and meatball stroganoff and boy, can that man grill a steak!

Who is the neat-freak? I used to go to his house just to move his salt and pepper shakers slightly and watch him squirm as he tried to resist moving them back. Need I say more?

Who is more stubborn? I am not stubborn I am determined as I am Norwegian. WE Norwegians are determined and not at all stubborn. BigB, on the other hand, is stubborn. Combine those two genes inour children and you get OH DEAR LORD GIVE US STRENGTH!

Who hogs the bed?Next question please...Ok, serioulsy we both take turns. Some mornings I wake up with BigB's face imprinted in the side of my face; other mornings I wake up to find him curled in the fetal position at the foot of the bed and I at a 90 degree angle.

Who wakes up earlier?This is definitely where I do NOT shine!

Where was your first date?The first place we ate at was a Humpty's at 4 AM after leaving the bar but that wasn't really a date. Was it? We went to this really cool Italian restaurant once with THE BEST brushetta EVER! Our first date was SUPPOSED to be a David Wilcox concert but he stood me up so I went with other friends.

Who is more jealous?In the past, definitely BigB but I think that jealous bone has diminished somewhat or he has it well disguised.

How long did it take to get serious?We were in denial for so long. "JUST FRIENDS" that I would have to ask my friend Crystal when we got serious b/c she was more intuned with our feelings than we were!

Who eats more?BigB definitely.

Who does the laundry?We both do.

Who's better with the computer?Considering he went to school to be a GeekNerd I sure hope he is!

Who drives when you are together?He does. I think its because he doesn't like going corners at speeds that cause his tummy to do back-flips; he's not one for those kind of carnival rides, I guess. My driving is faster than the Tilt-A-Whirl.

He's a Hot Dog in the literal sense of the word

Bug told me about a dream he had last night & I think he got his strange dream gene from me. (Now my strange dreams aren't nearly as frequent as Dixie's but, they are surprisingly as strange. Back to Bug.)

He told me that last night he dreamt he was a hot dog and some guys were chasing him trying to eat him so he laid down on the ground and rolled over them to beat them up...

I think we are going to have our hands full with this one. Not only is he a boob man, but he's a hot dog too! Yikes!

All you need is love?

"I thought Christianity was primarily about loving people, but it's not. Truthfully, not until the last ten years of my life have I ever put much effort into loving God. I wanted God to love me. I wanted God to help others love me. I wanted God to help melove others. Somehow I missed the most significant commandment in the Bible. Love God.

I found it so liberating to discover that the universe is not all about me. I don't have to be the special kid or the center of attention. I simply need to love God. Even prayer is not about me. I simply need to love God. Even prayer is not about me. Jesus said, "Pray like this: Father, hallowed, reverenced, and honored is your name." Immediately Jesus shifted attention to God. When you pray, shift your attention away from yourself as well. It's not about you or me; it's about him.

These days I'm not looking for self-worth. I'm not trying to feel special. I don't have to be God's poster child. I am just me, loving God. I have walked away from absurd religion that doesn't work. I'm inviting you to do the same.

It's very simple. If God's kingdom and rule is going to come into your life now, then your kingdom and rule must step aside. This is healthy for you. It is healthy for me. It really comes down to the old, forgotten idea Jesus talked about of "dying to self". That sounds a lot different that self-esteem - and it should. God's way is not through pumping ourselves up; it's through humility and loss of self.

The "me" generation cannot be first anymore. The center must change. It is time for a God centered religion. When that change happens, God's presence will be real rather than rare. We will get the God of the Bible back. We will see the power of God." (Pastor Steve Gray "My Absurd Religion by Which I Make my Living")

I would like to be able to simply say "Yeah! That's right!" but, I have a lot to say about it. Perhaps I will be able to put it as minimally as possible; perhaps not.

I have to agree that we have found ourselves in the midst of the "me" generation. For the most part, humanity is concerned about one thing and one thing only "ME!". "How will that affect me?" How will this affect my future?" How am I going to deal with that?" "What is my purpose, my goal, my vision, my destiny, my calling?" "That's not the way I do things." "I take what I feel applies to me out of the Bible, sermons etc."

Where is the focus there? Me, me, me. We need to purpose to switch our focus from us to God. It's not about "me". I know. I am in my own learning and restructuring curve on this; it is, in the beginning, difficult to pray with your focus on God instead of self or making your decisions based on God and not you. Instead of turning God into an add-on feature in our lives we need to capture him, grab onto him, set him in our sights and make HIM our focus... I guess that Toby Keith song is misleading. You know the one, "I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I, wanna talk about number 1..."

Pre-Sets

When Rush turned 14 years old I had a "talk" with her about having pre-sets about certain things. I told her as a girl (and a beautiful one at that) she needed to set in her mind things that would just "be" there like her favorite radio station pre-set by the push of a button. Some of those things were what behaviors she would not tolerate from a boy, what her boundaries would be when it comes to "dating"; things like that - things that I wanted her to have decided that she would not need to think about (and therefore, be subject to peer pressure or what have you).

We don't make decisions monthly about whether we are going to pay our mortgage/rent or daily as to whether we will eat that day or not. We have made a pre-set decision to do those things. Why not make pre-set decisions regarding our Christianity?

Pastor Steve Gray says this about pre-sets in "My Absurd Religion by Which I Make My Living":

"So why, when it comes to religion, is everything always subject to our feelings? Because the humanistic gospel caters to our feelings. Our energy is spent constantly analyzing our feelings and then acting accordingly. What a confusing way to live!

Life works much better when we make decisions that are no longer subject to our feelings. There are some thigs we should always do, and some things we should never do. For example, a Christian should always go to church, always tithe, always worship, and always nurture the fruit of the Spirit. Why? Because the Bible says to, and Jesus did these same things. Some things we should never do are get cranky, gossip, get bitter or judgemental, or return evil for evil. Those are just a few examples. They aren't based on our feelings. They are part of the pre-set behaviors we adopt when we decide to live like Christians. It's much easier to live by pre-sets than to make decisions based on our shifting feelings or moods. It actually becomes a stress reliever."

Why not spend time to make pre-sets for yourself personally, in your Christian life, in your parenting (make pre-sets to determine means of dealing with issues so that you aren't making your decisions based on feelings when those issues arise) and in your financial life (just to name a few)? It will make things easier and less stressful when you don't have to weigh your options or your feelings when something comes up.

The Anatomy of a Frog

Tonight Rush was watching a video, for school, on the disection of a bull frog. At one point the disector told us that this was a female frog. Bug was sitting on my lap, leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Ah mom, how can he tell? Where are the boobs?"

Pardon me, but I seem to be lost...

I am beginning to feel as though I have read this book before, but I realize that it is just that these are the same things that we are being taught at WRC...

"For my part I don't need any more "find yourself, feed yourself, love and forgive yourself" teaching. it's like candy - it tastes good, but it doesn't make me healthy. What I want to know is where are those who have lost their lives only to find them again? Isn't that what the Bible says to do? Shouldn't those people be our spiritual leaders?

Absurd religion has totally failed society in this area. In order to gratify itself, it has fed the public candy, until now even the Christians are sick. I think religion's current sickness is what angers and divides America. Those who don't attend church in our society know the church people are just as sick with self-absorption as everyone else is. And they get angry when a sick group of people tries to tell them what to do.

The only way any of us, religious or not, is going to get well is to be freed from absurd humanism. None of us can afford to listen to anyone, preacher or otherwise, who encourages self-fixation. The Bible takes the center off of us and puts it back on God. Compassion for people is good, but it is not the center of biblical Christianity. When religion puts people's wants, needs, hurts, cares, or anything humansitic at its center, it becomes absurd and no longer effective.

If you want to get spiritually and emotionally healthy God's way, then your spiritual center of gravity must change. We must purposely aim at what Jesus wants and cares about. We follow the pattern and attitude he had while here on earth. Jesus cared for all humanity. Yet the Bible never says humanity was the center of his life and his efforts. Jesus was focused on loving and honoring his Father in heaven. He said he would only do what his Father showed him to do. His selflessness towards God made him a servant to mankind." (My Absurd Religion by Which I Make My Living by Pastor Steve Gray)

I don't think our focus should be on "our ministry"/vision or worrying what our "calling" is. I know I have, in the past, been guilty of this. We go to churches that offer shallow sermons because it is a place where we can build on "our ministries"; all the while our children are suffering because they are being fed cotton candy fluff about God instead of a healthy meal. We wonder why our children are angry when we do all we can to give them every little thing they could possibly want, all the while they are starving for spiritual nutrition and we settle on giving them fast food continually in the name of convenience or for the purpose of finding "our calling" or building on "our ministry"/vision.

What do I think we should focus on? The same things Pastor Steve said. Are we not called to be followers of Christ? Does that not mean we aim to think like Him, do like Him, be like Him? If so, which I think most believe it to be, our focus, then, should be the same as Jesus'. "Jesus was focused on loving and honoring his Father in heaven. He said he would only do what his Father showed him to do." I don't think it is to focus on ourselves/our vision by finding or strengthening "our" calling; it is to focus on God and restoring honor to Him and listening for what He tells us to do. Everything else will fall into its place.

Let's keep score...

Still on this morality thing as the pivotal center of most Christians in the book (My Absurd Religion by Which I Make my Living by pastor Steve Gray) and this paragraph jumped at me from off the page.

"Good morality is not what makes a Christian. This should be the best news you've heard in a while. No, the mark of a Christian is the presence of God. Think about it - if morality makes a Christian, then Muslims are better ones than we are. They have a much more strict moral system than Christianity. But morality doesn't make a Christian. Presence does. When God was displeased with the children of Isreal in the wilderness, he threatened to take away his presence. I think that is pretty much what has happened to my absurd religion.

It is past time for Christianity to do away with preachers who preach morality and a powerless God. I will never be satisfied with a religion that only cleans the outside of the cup. I want my insides cleaned, too."

There's power, power wonder working power...

"I like what the presence of God does. It pulls people in. It breaks down barriers of race, religion and even morals. It brings successful people and failures together under one banner. When the power of God is present, everyone is having a tangible experience together with the living God. It is a time of knowing God in a way you can feel, but perhaps not explain. I believe this presence, all but lost in religion today, is the stuff that makes heroes. The men and women of the Bible are legends because they were ordinary people doing great things by a power that was not their own.

Morality without offering the presence and power of God is just the opposite. It excludes and divides. Morality alone pushes people away; it won't let them in."

As a pastor friend of ours from KC (now in Australia) would say, "GOOD WORD, PASTAH! GOOD WORD!"

Powerless Among Men

I know; I know! I need to stop with all these posts but to be honest I really can't! This book has been a fantastic read so far and I just have the desire to share what I have been reading about.

Just prior to this exerpt Pastor Steve Gray is talking about how personal morality is at the center of today's religion and that it is not entirely properly placed there. He goes on further to say that he is not promoting immorality or a "do what feels good" religion but moreso that this idea becomes absurd as it has "been made the pivotal center of our view of God".

Here's a bit more from the book:

"Religion has become about pushing morality on others. Church becomes a place where moral people practice and promote their morality. Today we have groups and organizations that, like Luther, believe that immorality is the problem and morality is the answer. Displaying the commandments in a courthouse or school relieves some of their anxiety and insecurity.

However, trying to create a moral anxiety is not helping America. It is dividing America. Telling people to be moral doesn't work. Passing moral laws may protect the innocent from devious deeds, but it won't create a moral society. Reading, posting or memorizing the Ten Commandments won't work. Those rules may instruct us, but they are powerless to change us. That's what the Bible itself says.

The Bible promises that God has the power to help us change, but morality without that power is absurd. Yet, many preachers of morality in American religion portray God as powerless today. They preach that God's power to do miracles ended with the Apostles. They don't believe God helps people by doing miracles now. To them, a miracle was God's way of promoting himself until the Bible could be written. Now that we have the Bible, we don't need miracles anymore -or so they say.

For a minister to take the power of God out of the Bible is an absurd idea. It removes any hope we have of changing. Then to turn around and tell the rest of the world they need to be moral is even worse. You can see what it is doing to our country. At the end of the day we have a divided nation that is no more moral than when we started. Efforts to force morality on others just make Christians look foolish.

Here is my idea: (emphasis added) God wants to show himself strong, powerful, and mighty in our day, just as he did throughout history. I believe it is his choice for every ordinary person to experience his presence. When I say "his presence" I mean a tangible knowing. A tangible knowing includes things we can see, as well as things we can't see. It can be a feeling or a sense. It is an internal knowing that God is with us, is active in our lives, and cares about us. "

"Why don't most churches have his presence/ I think it's because the people who control religion in America have never experienced it. You can't give to others what you don't have (emphasis mine). Another reason is that the controllers are embarrassed by outward displays of emotion. They would rather remain safe, reserved, and coddle their people, while at the same time telling the rest of the world to change." "My Absurd Religion by Which I Make my Living" by Pastor Steve Gray

I find it funny that most of these people who believe that the people who give as much as they do during worship (ie raising their hands higher than their shoulders, shouting, jumping, dancing, etc.) are just being emotional (emotionalism), or whatever it is they choose to call it, are some of the same people you can see at a {insert sports game here} game covered in the team's colors face paint who lose their voice cheering at a goal, a check, a tackle, a basket... are the same people who can tell you team player stats or the last time they won and probably get more passionate about a bad reffing call than anything from last week's church service. They are the same people who will openly weep at the end of a movie or through a book or jump at a concert but not at church where they can encounter the presence of God. Aren't these same things emotionalism? Just wondering...

Can you see the difference? I can't see the difference? IS there a difference?

In this book I am reading "My Absurd Religion by Which I Make My Living" by Pastor Steve Gray he talks about a conversation he had while in the drawing board stage of his award winning TV show. He was asked what the target audience for the show would be, Christian or non-Christian. Here are his thoughts on that as stated in the book.

"That was a tough one to answer because, in reality, Christians and non-Christians these days are not that different. They all believe that self-analysis brings understanding, and understanding brings light. They all believe what they choose to believe so they can feel better about themselves. What's the difference? Church people may talk differently than people who don't go to church, but they don't think differently. Everybody is self-absorbed.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not opposed to feeling better. Who doesn't want to feel better? What I don't like is that my absurd religion has capitalized on the self-centeredness of society to benefit itself. It gives people a deceptive sense of what Christianity is about...Psychoanalysis has its place, but not in religion - at least not in the religion called Christianity. It makes ministers say absurd things from the pulpit."

He carries MY picture in His wallet

That is how some people view it; isn't it?



Take a look over this; I would love to hear what you think about this viewpoint.

"Many of us have a driving need to have someone tell us we are good. We want to hear someone say our desires are good, all of our past decisions and motives were good. What better person to say, "You are a good boy or girl," than God himself?...I pulled into an intersection one night and just happened to look over at what was to my left. In the car next to me was a person I knew from church. He and I were always joking with each other, so I signaled him to roll down his window while we waited for the light to change.

He looked interested, like I was about to say something important. A second before the light turned green I yelled out the window, "God loves me more than you! He carrieds my picture in his wallet!" I laughed, the light changed and I drove off. Yep, that's the God my absurd religion believes in. He is the God who carries all of our pictures in his wallet and just can't wait to show us off to the relatives.

Behind all this encouraging talk you won't find real answers. Nevertheless, because needy people want to hear reassuring words they keep coming to church, and they support the ministry that makes them feel better. The system creats a co-dependency. Instead of offuring a cure, ministers are feeding the need that keeps the people coming back for more.

Jesus didn't use the language of Freud. when he came face to face wiht a need his words were often sharp and to the point. He would often say something like this: Ears be open! Spirit be gone! Be made whole! Jesus allowed no one to stay in a victim mentality. His words cured, delivered, and brought life. Jesus cared deeply for humanity-but he was not a humanist.

Jesus was loving, but strict. He told people to love God with all of their hearts, souls, and strength. Wow! That's different from the stuff we hear today from the pulpits."

My Absurd Religion by Which I Make My Living by Pastor Steve Gray.

POP!!!

Yesterday, last night and a bit this morning I let my emotions and fears run me but, I got control of them once again and, now, tightly reined, I, once more, control them! One of Rush's biological aunts and her cousin (from her biological dad's side) sent her a message and a request for friendship through Facebook. We have not heard from these people in 7 years - any of them - and not through our disuading them. No, this has been all them and then they pop back into her life in the most non-committal way, email, and with no sense of remorse for the time or anything. (That is my vent and that is as far as that goes)

I was letting my fear of them hurting Rush, yet again, overtake me. This morning, during prayer, I could only squeak out my words amidst tears and sobs, praying that God won't let them hurt her or take advantage of her again. This morning at work, I rose so far above that feeling! God won't let that happen to her! How much more does He love her than I do or ever can!? He will equip her for whatever comes her way in this situation and He will equip us, her family, to help her with whatever situation comes her way.

One way or another though, these people need to get committed to being in her life or get committed to being out of it (this will be the end to their popping in and out of her life-one way or the other). This mama will not lay down like a rug and be walked over by anyone and the rules still apply; if Rush decides to go forth with this (and the decision is completely hers to make) it will be on her and my terms and with Rush's best interest at the heart of the matter. It will also be with the guidance of God.

I thank God for giving me the strenth to rise above this right hook that came out of nowhere; it may have caught me off guard and knocked me off balance but not for long and I am coming back swinging with all that I have and all the resources I have at my disposal. In other words, the tactic won't work. I read the book...and it says that my resource is a conquering king and a victorious warrior with fire in His eyes. Nice try. Sorry to burst your bubble...

As for the confusion that poor Rush is going through right now and the vomitting and lack of sleep she had due to this, I come against that and want her to know that I will be there with and for her every step of the way no matter which road she chooses and no matter what happens, just like always! No matter what you decide, Baby, I am with you, no matter the outcome. Dad & I are here to support your decision and to help walk you through whatever the terrain may be for you. Always remember that.

P.S. We won't pop...

I hope and pray they really mean this...

That's Absurd II

"Today it is common for churches to send people around the world to evangelize non-believers. The goal is to get people to become a Christian so at death they will go to heaven. Churches also send groups out on good deeds missions to build buildings in Third World countries or to put shoes on the feet of poor children and provide enough money for a meal a day. These may be good things to do, but in all the recorded acts of Jesus, he never did these things.

I am sure there must have been many shoeless kids in Jesus' day, but there are no accounts of him supplying them with any. There must have been hungry children with big round bellies liek the ones you in those TV commercials, but Jesus never raised money to buy them food. He didn't busy the disciples building synagogues for poor Jews or houses for the hundreds who had lost their homes to the Roman tax collectors.

Instead, Jesus cut at the root of evil with the power of God. he went after the demons that kept society corrupt and sick. He freed entire communities from the powers of darkness that held the people in poverty. He cast out the spirit of corruption and taught them the way of love, honesty and generosity." (pages 32-33 "My Absurd Religion by Which I Make My Living" by Pastor Steve Gray)

How Absurd!

"But my religion is so busy maintaining its image that it denies it even has problems. Often, it blames society's woes on people who are not Christians. It rails against the immoral people of America as though they hold all the power of the future. Christians deceive themselves into believing that if everyone living outside of Christianity would live moral lives, America would be safe and secure.

The prophet Jeremiah of the Bible said there are only two sins taht cause societal misery. sin number one is "My poeple have forsaken me." In other words, God's followers gave up on following. To them, God was no longer a part of the solution, and they simply lost interest in Him. They still did religious things, but only halfheartedly. Remember, god's poepl committed this sin. It was active religion without a conscience. God wasn't angry that the pagans were acting like pagans. How else would you expect them to act? It waould have changed nothing for the pagans to walk a straight line. God's heart was breaking because his own people paid him no mind, though they pretended to. God's response was to withdraw and be hard to find.

This is what I seen in the churches of America. People may go to church, but their first question is, "When does this thing get over?" Churches have become like fast food restaurants offering speedy service. Christians don't want the power and presence of God in their lives; they just want to be left alone to get on with their lives. Ask any pastor or minister what the greatest problem of the church is today. It all boils down to one thing: The people just don't care. They want a little bit of God in their lives, but they mainly want food, fun and entertainment. In most cases, religion is giving them what they want." (pages 9 & 10)

" A church is not a place wit a steeple, or baptistery or altar. It's not even a place with a pastor or a priest. Neither is it a place to find sympathy or support. A church is a place where people go to experience God. It is to be like no other place on earth. It is the God meeting place. If there is no power or presence of God, then it is not a church. it is something else." (page 20-21)

"I think I could ask every preacher within a hundred miles of me what the gospel is about and ninety nine percent would get it wrong. I've heard a lot of sermons in my day and have been to hundreds of churches around the world. But I have heard relatively few sermons about Jesus Christ. Plenty of sermons reference Jesus, but the ones I've hear are primarily about our needs, our hurts, and our blessings. They are about us, not him. To be sure, Jesus did do a lot for us. That's great news, but it's not the primary news. The primary news is about Jesus himself. My absurd religion is like a kid who skips the main meal to get to the dessert. Ministers today are so eager to get to the self-gratifying stuff that most of America thinks the gospel is about Jesus coming to make us happy and fulfilled. Too m any churches have become a dessert buffet of inspiration feel-good theology." (Page 29)

"Some preachers, as I've said, think the gospel is only about getting into heaven. But to me, the good news is that God will come down from heaven and be with us here, not that we will someday go to heaven. Absurd religion offers a God who lives upstairs and is presently unavailable; but I get to see him after I die. My absurd religion has become so powerless and ineffective in this life that it has little left to offer but an afterlife. But the gospels written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John reveal an interactive God....Yes, we have the promise of heaven at death, but we also have a lot to do before we get there." (page 29-30)

Quotes taken from "My Absurd Religion by Which I Make my Living" by Pastor Steve Gray

Yesterday I smelled

Yesterday I had just finished getting ready for work and had walked into the kitchen; Jellybean smiled at me and told me how nice I smelled (I had just finished spraying my perfume, Jennifer Lopez Luxe).

Bug looked at me, the way he does when you can see the magnitude of his love written ALL over his face and sweetly said, "Yeah, Mommy, you smell like...Fruit Loops...".

I think that was the best compliment I got yesterday, if not ever.

Jellybean's new word

According to Jellybean it will always be easy for people to remember how old she is (and she is right); she is, after all, an "illeminum baby".

Of course, she meant millenium.

I never thought I'd hear HER say THAT!!!!

A few of us went to McDonalds after service last night and then went to Cheryl's house to watch a movie. We rented the movie from Blockbuster and I heard Rush say something on her way in that I never, ever thought I would hear her say, EVER!

As she walked in with two of her friends I heard her say, "The last time I was in here I had a mustache." She said it so calmly - like there was nothing strange about that.

Now let me explain this whole thing to you. Last Sunday Rush and Goofda had a little bit of fun at church; they were planning on attending sports right after but got distracted first on their way and Rush went into Blockbuster to rent a movie looking like this...

This is what she lloked like leaving church.

Are you doing or hearing?

Be a doer of the Word not just a hearer; push yourself and be an example to others (be willing to be an example). Being a hearer only and NOT a doer, you become deceived believing that God is happy that you just showed up to church on time.

Once you have "tasted" God you just want more and more. You NEED more! It's never enough! You are never satisfied! If you don't want more, if you don't feel that, I don't think you've ever really experienced Him for real!

Time to get real

Dixie opened up a can of worms in my mind with the latest post she has done; she asked me if that was good or bad and I think it was mostly good. It really got me thinking, evaluating, seeking and adament to change my mindset on something: my body image, healthy body image and the crap the media tries to feed us daily.

I think I was around 14 years old (so roughly 2/3 of my life has this affected me in one way shape or form) that I developed an eating disorder. I don't even know when or how; I didn't set out to be taken over & consumed by this thing. In retrospect it seems like it moved itself into a room of my mind never once announcing its plans, its arrival nor its presence-it just was. Instantly it seemed like a permanent fixture (you know how you can walk around the furniture in your house at night without having to think where it is, you just know it's there?), like it was always there and was supposed to be there instead of being the foreign thought that it was (is).

At 14 years old I was pretty much the same height I am now (close to 5'7") perhaps a couple inches shorter and I weighed 120 lbs; I was always an active kid so I was in good shape as well and I would look at myself in the mirror and see fat. I am not capable of seeing myself the way I truly am right now (even still); I have always looked in the mirror longing to see what everyone else did but instead seeing someone, not just 5-10 lbs over but, grotesquely overweight. At 14 years old, 5'5" (we will say) and 120 lbs I saw someone with 50 lbs to lose perhaps more.

When I was 15 years old my dad showed me a picture of a lady he knew and asked me what I thought of her. I thought she was beautiful. She was slim and simply beautiful. Dad asked me how tall I was and as I answered he made a "hmmmph" kind of noise; he then asked me how much I weighed, again he made the noise. He proceeded to ask me how I thought I could be fat and needing to lose weight when I had just looked at a picture of a lady who was the exact height and weight I was and I thought she looked beautiful and perfectly skinny. I had no answer for him. Logic didn't dictate that I could answer him.

I don't really know how I survived on the food I ate as a teen Grades 9-11 I never ate breakfast, had a frozen, slushy juicebox (orange juice) and an ice cream sandwich for lunch (I threw my lunch out everyday!) and picked and scraped at my supper. The whole day would have probably amounted to maybe 600 calories.

By Grade 12 I was down to 100 lbs, started smoking to replace another meal and I was "good to go". At 1oo lbs I still looked in the mirror and saw that same body looking back at me, the one that needed to lose a "me" worth of weight. I don't know where it came from or what is the deep rooted seed behind this image I have but I do know that it is wrong; I don't look like how I see myself.

"They" say that eating disorders come from a feeling of having a lack of control in ones life and that things like parental divorce or rapes can trigger one to grab control by controlling how much or how little they eat. By 14 yrs old my parents were divorced but I can't say that I felt that much loss of control over it perhaps add to that our house burning down and my grandpa dying the year earlier but still...I have no recollection of feeling life was out of control. That is just what my life was and I think my "support system" was enough that I didn't feel like I was free falling. So I can't see that being the trigger; I was raped/assaulted a couple of times during my teen years which I suffered silently with - this may be the first time some hear this about me even but I think it had to do more with seeing images of what I was "supposed to look like" day after day after day than what I have gone through. I don't really know; all I do know is that it just is and I am sick and tired of thinking I have beaten it to only look in the mirror again to see another ugly tenticle wrapping its way around my throat.

I have come a long way but there is still plenty of road to go and I know that I can't do it by myself. I may not suffer the eating disorder part now but that distorted body image remains and through God's help and hopefully (my friends and family as well) I know that I can shatter that image that has haunted me every time I look at my reflection. Yes, in reality I have a couple of pounds to lose to get to a healthier weight but not the 80 lbs I see surrounding my reflection. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and this is a pretty small thing for a great big GOD. I can all ready begin to feel those chains (and tenticles) begin to stretch and prepare to snap off and crumble to dust. I know it will happen! No! I know that it IS happening NOW!

Getting better.

We have family devotions and a time of prayer every morning before we leave our separate directions for the day; it has become an important part of our day and one that the kids look forward to as well.

We have gone through spurts of the kids, especially and moreso the younger two, not really praying anything other than their typical same words everyday prayers but lately, we have noticed it has really been stepped up and has had some powerful wording in it for small children; they are really starting to open up and realize what is being taught at our church (there is no Junior Holy Spirit! 'You is or you isn't,' as my Newfie friends would say.)

Excerpts from this morning's prayer from the kids:

Bug:
-"Help us, God to listen to what You are telling us."
-"We need more of You, God; send fire!"

Jellybean:
-"Give us the mind of Christ."
-"Teach us to be more like You!"

Rush:
-"Thank you that You are drawing us closer to You and that through that we are getting closer as a family, that we are becoming stronger as a family!"

I had to leave part way through Rush praying for a moment and so I did miss most of what she said however there is just so much more life and passion in the way my children pray now. As a parent it is very reassuring to know that they are aware of the realness.

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day...

When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May...

I guess you'd say what can make me feel this way...

My girl...

Talkin' 'bout MY GIRL!
Rush & I last Sunday on our girls' afternoon at BPs. Man I LOVE this girl!!!

New Years Day sliding adventures at Little Red

Jellybean climbing up the hill with one of the slides.

Take a look at the air Bug caught coming down the one side of the hill. It was wicked!

Here I am just waiting at the bottom of the hill to get some good pictures. I'm looking a little frosty in the eyelashes and hair.

Ah ha ha! BigB took a dive at the bottom; it was quite a wipe out on the same side Bug caught all his air.

It was a fun time- a little too cold to stay out very long though.

The best singing bug I've ever heard!

The Toothfairy Saga Continues

Dr. Daddy checking out the extremely loose tooth with Bug's buddy, Pink Panther. Look how brave Bug is!

There it is! Taken out by Daddy and his handy "dental tools". Can you see the shock, tears and laughter on his face?

Immediately following the loose tooth being plucked from its home...

There you have it folks, the evidence that she (the Tooth Fairy) has stolen my baby from me! And can you believe that she is ALL READY in the process of taking another one!? The tooth directly beside is all ready wiggling itself free to be replaced by yet another sign of oncoming adulthood!!!

She's leaving on a jet plane...

It has been quite a week, I'll tell you! Our van broke down the week before so we were driving the car. BigB thought he would try to boost the van with the car in hopes of reviving it and...the car quit. We thought it was the alternator but alas, it is some yet to be diagnosed problem. We will be working on it this weekend with hopes of it being on the road very soon. As a result of our vehiclelessness (I know! I know! What kind of word is that?) we have been overwhelmed with support from our church body/friends. They have been picking us up, taking us to work, school and church; we have had vehicles lent to us for periods of time and are currently getting to use Miss Teresa's car. (By the way, it has heated seats and I WANT A CAR WITH THOSE!)

Yesterday was our last day of Hebrew class and I will now be taking a bit of a hiatus from school in order to spend more time with the kids. I talked to Pastor Kevin about it on Tuesday and he thinks it is a good idea as well. Rush has been taking on the brunt of our absence and we want to remove some of that stress from her as much as we can; I offered it of myself as I am also finding our schedule, not hard or taxing, but I was finding it leaving me feeling void of some important "mom-time".

Rush & I got to go out for some "Mom/Daughter" time last Sunday. We went to BP's shared some Cactus Cuts, Twist Bread with pizza sauce and a small Boston Royale pizza. By the time it was all said and done we were too full to move and not sure how we were going to make it playing volleyball that next hour (but we did just fine). I loved getting to spend that time with just her & I and hopefully next time we go we can spend a bit more time visiting with each other. (One of my old bosses came for a visit which was nice but did take away from our time alone.)

Speaking of Rush, she has some excitement ahead of her. Last night she called us to let us know that she had been invited by P.K and S.T. to go to Toronto with them, their daughter and another friend. They will be flying (something she has never done before), going to Pastor Peter Marshall's church, going to China Town and Niagra Falls and hopefully living it to the fullest and enjoying the experience of different sites, tastes etc. I can't wait to see the pictures and to hear her stories. We are on a fast track to saving money for her to go as she will have airfare to pay, meals to pay for and a need/desire for spending money (and I would hate for her to go and not be able to enjoy a bit of shopping-that's what makes it the most fun for girls anyway). Our plan is to gather up all our pop cans/bottles and return them. Rush's school fees for Feb. are all ready paid so her only bill between now and departure is her cell phone bill. We are having faith that all the money she needs will be provided!

She leaves on the 18th so she has approximately 3 weeks to be prepared. I have 3 weeks to contain my excitement for her-having only ever gone 1 or 2 places outside of SK myself, I am bubbling over with joy for her and hope that she has an absolute blast with her friends!

Taking a trip...down memory lane

Our first family picture. Check out the mullet on BigB...

Rush & Pa set up a tent at the farm and went to have a nap. Fun times were had by all. She's winking at me in this picture.

Yeppers, that is my Rush in January or February of 1995. She was "dancing" to a song from off "The Fox & The Hound" at Grandma H's apartment.

A Wish for my friends in 2009

My Dad's cousin sent me this email that I found too cute to not share and it is, somewhat, my with for you all for 2009...

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address! In simple words . . . May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!

The Tooth Fairy stole my baby!!!!

She did!!! And I am putting out an A.P.B. on her!!! She isn't very tall, resembles Tinkerbell and will most likely be carrying someone's tooth!!! She has stolen my baby from me!

Last night I was helping Bug brush his teeth when I noticed a tooth on the bottom left-hand side of his mouth was very wiggly. I informed him of my new found discovery and it sent him into gales of sweet, joyful giggles. It sent me into an instant flashback of my bald-headed, 7 lb 14 oz, toothless bundle of joy and how the years have disappeared with a blink of my eyes-just one blink. In that very instant the Tooth Fairy stole my baby from me.

He is quite a little man now. He holds doors open for me and asks how my day at work went, grabs a blanket for us so we can "nuggle" on the couch, loves to have me read "Love You Forever" to him and promises to take care of me for his whole entire life. Bug is now reading stories not by the words but through interpretting the story's pictures and he has come up with some grand tales and taken us on some incredible adventures and when he sees me his face lights up with joy and love when he sees me after even a brief absence. He loves holding my hand when we cross the street or are in aparking lot and without his hand in mine, mine feels a void.

So, I need to find this Tooth Fairy to give her a piece of my mind! She has stolen the other 6 all ready and I had just hoped for a little more time!!!

The Birds, The Bees and The Pharmacy Tech????

Last night Jellybean came downstairs to tell me that she just heard that someone we know may be pregnant. She also told me how it says in the Bible that being pregnant without being married is a sin. I told her she was pretty much right but that it's not the being pregnant but the having sex that is not right. She looked at me quite befuddled and quizically asked, "What does sex look like?"

PANIC raced through me!!!!!! Cra-ap!! Why did I correct her!? She would have been just fine thinking it was 'pregnant' at least for the next 15 years, right??? "What does sex look like?! What does it look like??!!!". I can hear that question pounding in my ears.

"Oh, honey, you don't need to worry about that right now. Mommy will explain it all to you when you are a little older. For now all you need to know is that it is something special between mommy's and daddy's."

LO-ONG, AWKWARD SILENCE......

"Mommy...? I think I know what sex looks like."

"Oh?", I whispered with my mind racing through all the things she could say so I could "plan" my response.

"Yeah. I think it looks like a vitamin."

I stifle a laugh.
"No, it isn't a vitamin but right now you are a bit too young to really understand what it is but, I promise, as soon as Mommy and Daddy think you are ready to understand I will talk to you and explain it. Okay?"

"Okay," she said, smiling sweetly at me as she bounded from my chair and out of my office.

"Whew!" I feel my lungs begin to exhale a huge sigh of relief and my heart rate slows to normal. I wiped the beads of sweat that had begun to form on my brow and began to wonder when WOULD she be ready? When would I?

I have been silent

But not because I have been mad or depressed or anything of that nature...not at all. I have merely been enjoying my week of Christmas Festivities and my week of family time! It has been fantastic. I was done work at 5:30 on Christmas Eve, went home and began helpin gBigB with the supper preparations for our traditional pig-out feast (homemade pizza, ribs, taco dip, cheese dip, cheese ball...it was great and we were all very stuffed) which we were blessed to share with some of our dear and newfound friends (just one of the great things 2008 brought us).

Christmas Day we spent with Pastor Rob; he is BigB's "brothah from another mothah" and I am his "Twisted Sister". It was great to be able to have him at our house enjoying the kids, the chatter, the laughter, the food and the Wii. Rush's biggest claim to fame that day was knocking out "Uncle" Rob in a game of Wii boxing.

I worked my first shift in ICU in about 1 1/2 years and it was a bit of a hair raising experience as we were fully loaded and a nurse shy with some very sick people...but I made it without needing resusitation myself. In fact, it was rather invigorating if I may be so bold.

On the 27th we had BigB's mom and dad over for the afternoon and a late lunch/early supper. They brought the other two kids with them, Tuff and the K meister! It was awkward at first as we haven't seen them since last January but it didn't take long for that to disolve! We had a lot of fun with them while they were here; they went home with P.B. & J on the afternoon of the 31st. That's right; they were here as well!

On the 29th I worked the morning in ICU and went for lunch with some friends from high school; we had fun chowing down on some good ole B.Ps until we were too stuffed to move. Good times; good times. The 30th is when P.B. and J came for the day; we visited and had supper with them and watched "Horton Hears a Who", our Christmas present from them. It was nice to have them with us and we were almost a complete family but having us that close to complete made the void that much more evident and painful. Perhaps next year...that's what the plan is sounding like so far! Definitely will be exciting to have the 9 kids with us if that works out!

The 31st I worked another half day in ICU, got my hair cut and colored and then went to church for service and food. What a great way to say goodbye to one great year and to hello to another with good friends and, most importantly, the presence of God.

I didn't get as much organizing done as I had first hoped as I didn't expect as much company nor did I plan on working-that was all last minute. I did get to completely go through our huge linen closet and tossed tonnes of stuff as well as find things that we no longer use that a friend of ours was able to make good use of! My linen closet is a thing of beauty at the moment-if a linen closet could be a thing of beauty! Regardless, it is very organized and 'purty'. Bug's room done. Linen closet done...it will be complete soon.

I guess this weekend is the official weekend of bringing down the tree. I am going to feel very good about getting my living room back in all of its square footedness. Oh and some great news on the new church building front...they were supposed to be putting the cement down today...step by step we are getting closer and closer! Can't wait!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

For those of you who are dreaming of a white Christmas, we have got some snow to come your way but, if you do take some of the snow you have to take the bitter cold and the windchill it has with it this year. We are in the midst of a cold snap that reminds me more of a late January day than a December one but that is ok because it simply means curling up at night with a blanket, snuggling with the family and enjoying a nice cup of hot chocolate...when we are home.

There have been some huge changes in our lives this year; it has been a year of stretching, restructuring and the like but it has all been great! BigB & I have both changed jobs and I, especially, am loving mine. I am now at Early Childhood Intervention as the Office Manager and BigB is over at Image Computers instead of us both being at the hospital. We are also building a new sanctuary as a church and we have helped out with that some; i have learned how to mud a bit and have become very efficient at painting trim and at sanding. Rush is also working-two jobs actually; she works as a cashier at Superstore plus she babysits every second week during the evenings for us and another family while we are at school.

Yes, BigB and I are classmates! We are both attending first year classes at World Revival Training Center and the classes, so far, have been incredible (some more work than others but all the same, incredible and life changing)! The kids have all left the public school system this year and are attending WRPS the A.C.E. school at our church and I have nothing but great things to say about that place and the education they are getting! Rush is even paying for her own tuition.

We have been incredibly busy as a family as we are striving to bring ourselves to a deeper place in our relationship with God and as a family. We have made some new and truly fantastic friends but have found ourselves in a position where we are pressed for time (but for great reasons) to get together with family and old friends and they are all greatly missed. I am in the process of fine-tuning the organization of our household and perhaps with the start of 2009 will come the beginning of some new found time.

Rush has spent this current school year learning sign language and is learning new words daily; we are so proud of her and how quickly she picked it up! She started to have bass lessons but they were momentarily halted due to time constraints on both parties, teacher and student. They will be picking them back up in the new year again. Her grades this year have been absolutely great and it is just an absolute joy to be around her. Rush's humor will leave you in stitches and well, she is overall just a great lady to be around. I almost called her a kid but she is 15 years old now and I guess my days of calling her a kid are over...

Jellybean is also doing great at school and has really loved transitioning to WRPS; she loved her old school, teachers and friends but there is a difference here. So far, her lowest mark this year is an 87% or something like that. Jellybean still loves her music and plucks away at her violin at times or her guitar at times. She is a little prayer warrior when she wants to be.

Bug still makes my morning every morning with the sweet look he gives me (like he hasn't seen me in 100 days). He is loving going to school and learning all about letters from Miss Pam. Poor Miss Pam! She has Bug and his two best buddies in her class who feed off of each other like a tornado; I just hope the three of them keep it to a dull gayle force wind for her instead of a full blown tornado... Bug is a worshipper; he has music in his bone marrow I am sure and we will "catch" him in the living room singing and dancing his heart out. He is still too "shy" around non-immediate family to do that in public but it is coming.

We have had a great 2008 and we are looking forward now, to an even better 2009! There is no telling what can and will happen in the new year but we are ready and eager for it to happen!

For you, our friends and family, our hope and prayer is for a healthy, happy, prosperous 2009! You all mean so very much to us and we love you all dearly. Merry Christmas!

Thus ends this latest bout of Teenagitis...

Sometimes I forget (like when she has a day or two of that dreaded, non-treatable disease Teenagitis-now don't get me wrong compared to most other teenagers Rush's Teenagitis is an extremely mild case but when you are used to your child one way any change can seem monumental) but my daughter is great! Fantastic even! I know, I know! It's probably not in the Mom Rule Handbook but I have to toot that horn for my kid, Rush! Toot! Toot! Toot!!!

Let me tell you why (not like you will neccessarily listen but as long as you're all ready here you may as well stay, right?) She is 15 years old, has a job, 2 jobs actually (she is a cashier at a grocery store and every second week babysits 4 other children as well as her brother & sister so the 4 parents can go to their classes), is paying for her own Christian schooling which is $143/month, is getting super fantastic marks in her schoolwork, does the Media Shout at the church and comes out to music practice when she isn't working. She makes supper for us so we can eat at a normal meal time during the week (and boy was last night's seasoned, garlicy asperagus fantasticly delicious! My taste buds are still screaming for more of that delicious veggie!), makes lunches for her, the kids & myself (at least on the weeks we are in classes) and last night we came home from our class (with our brains feeling like mush from the overwhelmingness of our Covenant exam) to find a sparkling kitchen. You guys, it was sparkling like a Mr. Clean commercial only it didn't have the bald headed dude with the earring in it. (Pity because that would have been cool!) Not only that, but, she had completely changed the kitty litter (ok, I will only give credit where credit is due. That has been a daily request for the last week but she FINALLY did it! YAY!!!) and she had (with the help of Jellybean doing her duties-again with the credit where it is due) gotten the mat for the entrance down...unfortunately that was also a battle to get done.

Rush has recently gone into remission from her Teenagitis; it is so great to look into her eyes and see a smile in there just begging to come out, to see a peaceful countenance on her, to hear her laughing with her brother & sister and to not hear sharp comments, rude retorts or see major eye-rolling an it is such a relief to not worry about the proximity of sharp objects (:D)! One thing I can say about Rush is her bouts of Teenagitis don't last very long and that is such a relief because one of the side effects to Teenagitis is that parents develop Parent-rage (similar to road rage) and there are times where it is pretty touch-and-go as to whether someone will get their tires shot out or not (:D).

This last bout wasn't very long but it was long enough that we missed our Rush with such an intensity. We thought perhaps she was lost forever in the clutches of Teenagitis; we were about ready to get her picture on a milk carton, brick of cheese, yogurt tube;any and all dairy products we could get our hands on was about to have her missing picture on it.

One of the most recent coversations we have had with Rush went something like this:

BigB: It's good to have you back, Baby.

Rush (soft and sweetly): It's good to BE back.

Brings tears to a proud mama's eyes just thinking about it.

Now her eyes are shining, her voice is its soft, sweet self, she is huggily and snuggily and thanks to her friend, Laura, she smells like "Amazmint" lipgloss and I get a craving for candy canes whenever she is around...Gee I love that girl!!!

Like a crocus poking its way to the surface.

That's how I feel today-so much more hopeful and full of life than yesterday. My feelings of general crapiness yesterday were the result of an oncoming migraine. Haven't had one of those in a while. I left work at 2:30 yesterday and headed straight to my beautiful bed, dark room and promptly found a cold cloth to put across my eyes. I had a wonderful sleep and felt a lot better when I woke up at 6:30 but still not great. At 10:30 I headed back to bed and fell into another deep, quick sleep (with the help of my dark room and, again, cold cloth) and awoke this morning feeling hopeful and like new life (that crocus poking out as winter tries to cling to itself and spring pushes forth for hope and joy...)

My butt she be draggin'

Is it just that today is "hump day" or is the last few weeks completely catching up to me? Today I feel weary; I am past tired-way past. I keep pressing on, pressing in and pushing past because it is not about how I feel but be that as it may, I am weary.

It could be that I "feel" a little bug coming on; my eyes hurt, my bones ache, my head seems helium balloonish and that that is what is causing my weariness that and I really need sleep.

I haven't had a good night's sleep in about a month with working full-time, night classes, homework and studying for night classes and some good, old-fashioned building project work. This week's classes are on covenant; it's pretty intense, a lot of heavy thinking, heavy re-thinking and re-vamping and a lot of cramming of information into my brain. It's been an incredible class so far; I just don't know if I am looking forward to tomorrow's exam and essay! I don't get a huge quantity of time to study and the time I do get isn't quality because it is rushed during breaks at work or after class when my brain is all ready overloaded mush.

This weekend is going to be nice family time but still, there is a lot to get done in a short two days. I have a breakfast with the worship team and then music practice until 1, our plan is to get the tree up and decorated (the house decorated too) and then on Sunday we have church service (which I know will do me a world of good for renewal), bigB has a media meeting immediately after the service (for an unknown length of time) and it sounds like we are going to be able to enjoy a nice visit with J while we decorate our gingerbread house (which adds one more thing to my list of things to do...must get the rest of the candy, fruit roll ups, etc for the gingerbread decorating party).

My body & mind are really looking forward to the week I have off at Christmas. Unfortunately for both of them I all ready have a list started as to things that need to get done then too...My body and mind are longing for white powdered sand beaches, greenish-blue waters, the heat of the tropical sun and a bed with no alarm clock just for 4 or 5 days (mind you, I have never experienced that so maybe once I got there I would want a lot more days or a lot less).

Let's play catch-up

There hasn't been a lot of stuff going on in our lives as of late but enough to keep us busy. Last week I was in classes outside of my regular class schedule. The topic last week was Kingdom Worship and the worship team was asked to take part in the class; it was extremely interesting and I am SO glad I was able to go. The only thing was that a lot of things I had hoped to get done didn't get accomplished but that's all right; they'll be there when I am ready. I am really looking forward to this week's class with Pastor Greg...Covenant.

I have finally begun to do some shopping. I found a great pair of American Eagle winter boots (regular $70) at Liquidation World for $10. We found the kids some clothes but man, were we all getting discouraged!!! It is very hard these days to find clothes that my children can wear to school (due to their dress code); it was almost impossible to find dress pants for Jellybean! We finally found 3 pair and a pair of leggings to go with her long tops...We finally found dress shirts for Bug but most boys clothes is rough and rugged. I guess there aren't many 5 year old boys that wear dress clothes more days of the week than not.

We were in "The City" this weekend enjoying a family Christmas meal with my mom, step-dad, brother, sister-in-law, their boys and my sister, brother-in-law and their boy. With that many people my mom had to get creative for us all to eat together and so, this was the first time in my life I have ever eaten Christmas dinner (or any meal for that matter) in the garage. We had a few laughs over that.

Saturday evening was, I think, the most fun of the day...some of us sat around the kitchen table and played a game of Scrabble (Rush won thanks to the help of Uncle :D) and then we played Guesstures. I don't think I have laughed that hard in a long time; it was hilarious watching people try to act different words out (including myself) or guess the words that you were trying to act...

Rush finally had enough money saved up to buy herself a camera and an mp3 player so she is quite pumped. I got a new compact camera just for everyday lugging around...

Yesterday afternoon Rush & I were at the ECIP family's Christmas party; it was in the basement of a church here in town. It felt strange to be there at first...I hadn't been to that church since the funeral of my cousin who was killed while riding his bike 11 years ago (he was 11). Memories were awakened being there...

After the party the entire family headed over to Giant Tiger for a "Friends and Family" invitation only gathering. We got a few things we needed, a few extra things as well (we got 10% off) and the kids each got $5 gift cards to spend. Jellybean bought herself a Gatorade, a Lunchmate (ham) and a package of Juicy Fruit gum (just like Papa chews). Bug bought a big bag of spicy Dorritos and 2 packages of "Papa gum". They were both very proud of themselves (especially Bug as this was his first purchase ever!).

This week looks like another full week: classes Mon to Thurs, Church Friday, breakfast with the worship team and practice Saturday morning/early afternoon, decorating the house for Christmas with the family and perhaps (we haven't planned it yet) decorating the gingerbread house and ending the week off with Church again on Sunday! Looks like a good week! I am certainly glad that Superstore is open 24 hours this month...I may need that to get a few groceries here and there... :D

Is it THAT time of year all ready?

I can certainly tell that our lifestyle has changed quite a bit as a family. Here it is Dec 5 and I have barely started shopping...most that know me know I am usually done no later than mid-October. I haven't had a chance to even think about baking other than to know that we will make some of the cute little chocolate/cherry mice Donna from work made...maybe they will go with our gingerbread house.

The gingerbread house is another thing; it is a tradition and I have to admit I was getting a bit nervous as to when we would have a chance to all have time to put together a gingerbread house and get it decorated and be able to enjoy ourselves doing it-not throwing things on because we have to get going or something like that. Well, I found something at Liquidation World that will shave off the tedious (but extremely amusing-right Jen) part of assembling (That part is fun though...I don't know how many upside down or crooked chimneys we have had over the years or collapsed walls that needed major repair...good times, good times...) and it only cost $5!!!! It is a fully assembled, ready to decorate gingerbread house...Yay for Liquidation World!!!

The tree is another thing that is yet to be done but I am not entirely concerned with that; the month is still early. Growing up on the farm we went and picked out our tree 2-3 days before Christmas, let it thaw in the tub and we all put it up Christmas Eve Day...we all, mom, dad, us kids, the dog, a few cats and the horses would all walk through the pasture until we found the perfect tree. Fun times were had by all. That is a tradition that I really miss...