So, it is now 4 AM. Is there any point to try going back to bed? I still haven't fallen asleep. As I lay in bed waiting to succumb to sweet sleep, I heard a muffled cry. This cry made me doubt I was hearing one; I listened and I waited but I just wasn't sure. I thought I heard Aren crying but...
I got up and listened by his door; I heard nothing but still had a nagging feeling so I opened the door. In my tired state I saw a figure, a very short figure and wondered, for a minute, if it was his teddybear or something. I even had to supress a scream for a moment because I really wasn't expecting to see anything sitting up in the middle of his floor.
Yes, Aren fell out of bed...again. He has done this the majority of the week, poor little guy. Most nights he falls out and proceeds to roll under his bed. This results in him whacking his head really hard when he attempts to get up. Poor little guy.
I haven't seen much of Aren (or the other kids) this week so took this moment as an opportunity. We snuggled, read stories and he showed me Bob the builder, winnie the pooh, his horse and that he knew my name (he pointed at my chest and said "mom"; he then pointed at his own chest and said "meh" or "weh"-it was hard to decipher-but it was him whether it was Aren or me he was attempting to say.
Anyway, he is now snuggled into his bed, tucked into his blanket and wearing a fresh, dry diaper, has a cool sippy cup of milk and is probably sleeping and dreaming of digging in dirt by now. I, on the other hand, am wondering if there is any point in going to bed anymore. After all, I will cough and hack and keep myself awake until morning when, the cough will ease up a bit and I can get at least a few hours sleep and miss seeing and playing with my kids. Ah, I'll give it a try and pray I fall asleep so I can enjoy my one day off this week with my kids. (When does that vacation start...?)
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Motherhood
There are 3 girls at work who are expecting babies, young girls. None of them are married; one is planning to be in September and this was sort of an oops in the meantime, I guess but, I digress. It just got me to thinking about motherhood and all the joys, sorrows and inconveniences that come with it. I have been a teenage mom; it wasn't all fun and games like most young girls think but they will find out for themselves how much work and stress a child adds to your life.
I started out this blog making a list of things I will enjoy about my life when my kids are gone and the list just didn't seem that long or important really. I will share with you what I got as far as a list but trust me, while 2 of them(# 2 and #1) I will love, I think there will be a bittersweetness to it (I will think back to the times when one of the kids ran into the bathroom just to tell me they were hungry or wanted a toy or a bath, you now those life or death things that can't wait for two minutes while I have a pee and I think I will miss it. Right now I crave that privacy but I think I will miss it.) Some might say a simple solution to this would be lock the door; ah, yes, easy enough but then you get the knocking on the door to be let in and the knocking is so hard that you can see the door push in...that would be from the baby and the screaming at you from the other side because voices don't carry through wood, right? LOL. So, anyway, here is my little list.
3. Not stepping on blocks or matchbox cars that have been left in the middle of the floor when I come home from work.
2. Getting dressed without having every child in the house come barging in.
1. Going to the bathroom by myself.
I think a better list is what I enjoy about being a mom.
1. I love hearing them call my name (although my heart breaks if they call it out of sadness or fear).
2. I love seeing them look up at me and smile with love & trust.
3. I love hearing them say "I love you".
4. I love seeing them accomplish things (whether it be a fist step, getting over a fear, finally figuring out long division or riding their bike by themselves).
5. I love watching them do something they have spent an entire year practicing for. I bawl everytime I see the kids in a dance recital, a Christmas concert, receiving an honor roll award at school. I feel such a sense of pride and an overwhelming sense of love at these moments.
6. I love watching them discover new things or something new about old things.
7. I love looking at them when they are sleeping and seeing how peaceful, happy and angelic they appear.
8. I love eating mini carrots, apples and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch because some 4 year old wanted to make her mom lunch and that is all she could make (plus I think she made me pickles with ranch dressing...shudder).
9. I love having them crawl up & curl up beside me to watch a movie or read a book or to go on an imagination vacation.
10. I love watching them grow up to see what kind of person they become, what kind of life they lead and what happens to meet them on their path. I also hate this one because it means letting go. I have gotten to experience this at a lot younger age than anyone I have met so far, as I had to endure the "let go" and "let be gone" when Billy left last year and I had just turned 30.
11. I love hearing them pray a heartfelt prayer to God, all the time but especially the very first time they do it.
Oh something else I love, is when my kids remind me that I am not as old as I think I am. Just recently Jenn had to remind me that I was turning 31 this summer not 32. For some reason I figured I all ready was, not like one year makes a heck of a differnce when discussing the age of 31 or 32. Still, makes ya feel good for a little while.
So this list was a lot easier to make and could be a lot longer but, I need some sleep as it is 2:30 in the morning. These are just the ones that popped into my head right now.
I love being a mom; I think it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It is different being a 'mom' to someone who is only 11 or even 13 years younger than me, at times feels a bit odd but I'm so glad I am. I don't think I would change that for anything either.
I started out this blog making a list of things I will enjoy about my life when my kids are gone and the list just didn't seem that long or important really. I will share with you what I got as far as a list but trust me, while 2 of them(# 2 and #1) I will love, I think there will be a bittersweetness to it (I will think back to the times when one of the kids ran into the bathroom just to tell me they were hungry or wanted a toy or a bath, you now those life or death things that can't wait for two minutes while I have a pee and I think I will miss it. Right now I crave that privacy but I think I will miss it.) Some might say a simple solution to this would be lock the door; ah, yes, easy enough but then you get the knocking on the door to be let in and the knocking is so hard that you can see the door push in...that would be from the baby and the screaming at you from the other side because voices don't carry through wood, right? LOL. So, anyway, here is my little list.
3. Not stepping on blocks or matchbox cars that have been left in the middle of the floor when I come home from work.
2. Getting dressed without having every child in the house come barging in.
1. Going to the bathroom by myself.
I think a better list is what I enjoy about being a mom.
1. I love hearing them call my name (although my heart breaks if they call it out of sadness or fear).
2. I love seeing them look up at me and smile with love & trust.
3. I love hearing them say "I love you".
4. I love seeing them accomplish things (whether it be a fist step, getting over a fear, finally figuring out long division or riding their bike by themselves).
5. I love watching them do something they have spent an entire year practicing for. I bawl everytime I see the kids in a dance recital, a Christmas concert, receiving an honor roll award at school. I feel such a sense of pride and an overwhelming sense of love at these moments.
6. I love watching them discover new things or something new about old things.
7. I love looking at them when they are sleeping and seeing how peaceful, happy and angelic they appear.
8. I love eating mini carrots, apples and peanut butter sandwiches for lunch because some 4 year old wanted to make her mom lunch and that is all she could make (plus I think she made me pickles with ranch dressing...shudder).
9. I love having them crawl up & curl up beside me to watch a movie or read a book or to go on an imagination vacation.
10. I love watching them grow up to see what kind of person they become, what kind of life they lead and what happens to meet them on their path. I also hate this one because it means letting go. I have gotten to experience this at a lot younger age than anyone I have met so far, as I had to endure the "let go" and "let be gone" when Billy left last year and I had just turned 30.
11. I love hearing them pray a heartfelt prayer to God, all the time but especially the very first time they do it.
Oh something else I love, is when my kids remind me that I am not as old as I think I am. Just recently Jenn had to remind me that I was turning 31 this summer not 32. For some reason I figured I all ready was, not like one year makes a heck of a differnce when discussing the age of 31 or 32. Still, makes ya feel good for a little while.
So this list was a lot easier to make and could be a lot longer but, I need some sleep as it is 2:30 in the morning. These are just the ones that popped into my head right now.
I love being a mom; I think it is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It is different being a 'mom' to someone who is only 11 or even 13 years younger than me, at times feels a bit odd but I'm so glad I am. I don't think I would change that for anything either.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Great Expectations
Well, we bought a tent trailer and boy, oh boy are the kids excited. We are going down to Kansas City for a week starting Aug 16 and we'll be camping at a beautiful lake for the entire time. Little by little, we have been getting dishes, tarps, etc (all the camping needs) together.
The kids have been funny about the entire trailer deal. While it was still all folded down (being a tent trailer) Cherish wondered how in the world we were going to get in it and how we were all going to fit. Once set up, Hallie and Aren bounced from bed to bed with squeals of delight. At one point, Hallie even informed us that she was 'In heaven". I believe I told her she had a very low expectation of what Heaven will be like. Regardless, the kids are thrilled to have this home away from home and are so pumped to be able to go camping for a week. I hope it is everything they imagine and more.
I have to admit, I am looking forward to this trip a lot more than the others, not that I didn't look forward to them. It is just that it has been a long time...no, we have never taken a family trip like this before. In fact, we have never gone camping period. The last time Bill & I went camping Cherish was 5 years old and she didn't come with us. We are hoping to take the kids to the zoo and perhaps, if needed (most likely) stop somewhere along the way for a night...perhaps Mount Rushmore...
The kids have been funny about the entire trailer deal. While it was still all folded down (being a tent trailer) Cherish wondered how in the world we were going to get in it and how we were all going to fit. Once set up, Hallie and Aren bounced from bed to bed with squeals of delight. At one point, Hallie even informed us that she was 'In heaven". I believe I told her she had a very low expectation of what Heaven will be like. Regardless, the kids are thrilled to have this home away from home and are so pumped to be able to go camping for a week. I hope it is everything they imagine and more.
I have to admit, I am looking forward to this trip a lot more than the others, not that I didn't look forward to them. It is just that it has been a long time...no, we have never taken a family trip like this before. In fact, we have never gone camping period. The last time Bill & I went camping Cherish was 5 years old and she didn't come with us. We are hoping to take the kids to the zoo and perhaps, if needed (most likely) stop somewhere along the way for a night...perhaps Mount Rushmore...
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
People's Perceptions
I am finding it quite amusing that someone who only knows me from work and who has only seen me with my kids on 2 occassions thinks my children are spoiled. Now I, by no means, am saying they are perfect but...
If being spoiled means they do their fair share of chores that they don't get paid for...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means that if they want the more expensive pair of jeans, that we don't have the money for so we get them to work the difference off...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means that they don't get hundreds of dollars spent on them at Christmas times, birthdays or for school clothes...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means that they have strict rules that they must follow or get disciplined in various manners (such as priveleges taken away, writing reports on what they have done wrong, groundings, working off time owed or money owed...)...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means they do not get away with talking back to myself or Bill or being rude to their brothers, sisters, teachers or friends...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means having good work ethic, a strong sense of community, a willingness and desire to volunteer and making honor roll grades...then they are spoiled.
If what I described above makes my kids spoiled...then I am glad to say that my kids ARE spoiled!!!
I guess it all depends on people's perceptions. I believe she thinks the kids are spoiled because I have looked hard for Strawberry Shortcake stuff for Hallie for school. Why? Because Hallie helps us out a lot and most times we can't afford to give our kids much of an allowance...sometimes none...so why can't we get them stuff that is a little extra special when it is stuff that they need. Yes, I got Hallie a SS backback but it was the same price as the backpacks with no characters on them...maybe $2 more. The number one thing for me to note on her perceptions is this, she has no children of her own and don't they that don't think they can so much better than they that do? I am wondering how confident she will be when she has her own children. I wonder if she will think back and still think my children are spoiled.
If being spoiled means they do their fair share of chores that they don't get paid for...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means that if they want the more expensive pair of jeans, that we don't have the money for so we get them to work the difference off...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means that they don't get hundreds of dollars spent on them at Christmas times, birthdays or for school clothes...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means that they have strict rules that they must follow or get disciplined in various manners (such as priveleges taken away, writing reports on what they have done wrong, groundings, working off time owed or money owed...)...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means they do not get away with talking back to myself or Bill or being rude to their brothers, sisters, teachers or friends...then they are spoiled.
If being spoiled means having good work ethic, a strong sense of community, a willingness and desire to volunteer and making honor roll grades...then they are spoiled.
If what I described above makes my kids spoiled...then I am glad to say that my kids ARE spoiled!!!
I guess it all depends on people's perceptions. I believe she thinks the kids are spoiled because I have looked hard for Strawberry Shortcake stuff for Hallie for school. Why? Because Hallie helps us out a lot and most times we can't afford to give our kids much of an allowance...sometimes none...so why can't we get them stuff that is a little extra special when it is stuff that they need. Yes, I got Hallie a SS backback but it was the same price as the backpacks with no characters on them...maybe $2 more. The number one thing for me to note on her perceptions is this, she has no children of her own and don't they that don't think they can so much better than they that do? I am wondering how confident she will be when she has her own children. I wonder if she will think back and still think my children are spoiled.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
My boy's birthday
Aren having fun eating the brownie the girls decorated for him at BP's. He was so happy to have them sing just for him and he looked rather awestruck. As for supper, he had his typical bugs and cheese pasta. His birthday supper was a success. Bill &I were there of course;Billy & Jenn managed to be there insteadof work and Cherish and Hallie. We were missing Daniel and Kristina but we have Kristina's birthday in a few days. What to do after supper? We toyed with a few ideas: renting a movie seemed the most popular but on the way home I thought about us all going to the playground for awhile and that was a BIG hit...
We went on the slides, on the swings, on the merri-go-round, the monkey bars, in the mud, in the sand... Hallie was brave enough to climb to the very top of the tallest slide they had but not quite brave enough to slide down and needed rescued by Billy...good, brave, strong big brother to the rescue... We got the kids to pose for a picture that, when I envisioned it, seemed to be a wonderful picture. In reality, it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it but I managed to snap a quick photo so here that one is...
and then we tried...
We came home unwrapped presents, watched "The Bob the Builder" movie he picked out himself and then he played. The biggest hit for the night was the punching bag thing Cherish got him....Aren went to bed one happy little 2 year old. I love you buddy!!!
I won server bingo!!!
That's what I said, server bingo. Last night we had a little game at work where we had a bingo sheet of menu items and we were to bring our receipt showing we had sold said item and got that square initialled by a manager. There were 3 prizes: a free staff meal, a free schooner of beer and a 2 movie passes/ $10 gift letter combo. I got a line first and won a free staff meal; I then got the 4 corners and won, my family and friends will laugh, a schooner. Yes, a schooner...that's 32 oz of beer. I rarely drink; I may have one drink a year...maybe. When I do drink, it most certainly isn't beer. I hate the smell of beer; it takes me back to the times I was attacked (especially when it is on someone else's breath) and when I was a drinker, I couldn't drink beer anyway. Two beer, maybe 3 would do me in but I could drink hard alcohol like it was water. Should have drank the beer; I could have saved a lot of money.
So back to my bingo story, I asked my manager if I could substitute an "ordinary drink" in place of this schooner and she said 'yes'. I mean really, a $3 drink instead of a $5. So, some night, after work I may sit with some of my co-workers for a visit and have myself a caesar, my drink of the year, or go out for supper with my sis when she is in town running errands.
I worked hard but didn't quite make the black out in order to get the movie pass combo. I am kind of glad though. It gave someone else a prize. If we ever play server bingo again, though...watch out...no holds barred. (=P)
So back to my bingo story, I asked my manager if I could substitute an "ordinary drink" in place of this schooner and she said 'yes'. I mean really, a $3 drink instead of a $5. So, some night, after work I may sit with some of my co-workers for a visit and have myself a caesar, my drink of the year, or go out for supper with my sis when she is in town running errands.
I worked hard but didn't quite make the black out in order to get the movie pass combo. I am kind of glad though. It gave someone else a prize. If we ever play server bingo again, though...watch out...no holds barred. (=P)
Friday, July 22, 2005
Wow, I just experienced something that I am finding to be so juvenile, the typical 'we don't think the same way, I'm going to stab you in the back my dear, dear friend' mentality. Thank you so very much for that and you know exactly who you are. However, that being said, it is done and that is that. I hold no ill-will toward said individual(s) and I never will. I have been taught to love people despite what they do to or against me. I am not saying that I am going to go out and hug the next terrorist I see and tell him/her I love him/her but I am saying that I have been taught to love the person for being a person. I can love them and not love or condone what they stand or don't stand for. I can also love them inspite of them stepping outside of the box or inspite of them being a puppet to some self-serving, humanistic belief. To carry on with a thought I had, it also doesn't mean that I am going to go out and invite above person/persons to my house for tea but, regardless of what these people say about/to me, I will continue to love them and pray for them and hold them dear to my heart. Having said that, I will end this blog with a bit of sadness as I think about what this person/people are putting an end to but, I will not let it hinder me nor will I allow it to hurt my walk and belief in God. To these said friends who are upset at me for what I did or did not do (depending on their perception) I say this, "Jesus died for you...don't expect me to do the same."
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Happy Birthday, Baby and Daddy
Today my son turned 2 years old. What a glorious day we had. Phone calls from loved ones, a birthday supper with mom and dad and brothers & sisters (minus 2), birthday cake, birthday songs, a fun trip to the playground, picking out his own movie to rent (Bob the Builder), opening presents and a nice, quiet ending to a fun day...watching the movie.
It's so nice to spend time with the people who are important to you. I can't believe how fast the last two years have gone. The milestones we have reached together are so overwhelming.
So birthday, boy. Mommy loves you so very much. You make me so proud and fill my heart with such an abundance of love.
My dad had a birthday today too and, since I know he will want me to say he turned 35, I didn't get to talk to him as he is in Hudson Bay. I miss him and it just didn't feel right not being able to tell him I love him. So, I love you dad; happy birthday.
It's so nice to spend time with the people who are important to you. I can't believe how fast the last two years have gone. The milestones we have reached together are so overwhelming.
So birthday, boy. Mommy loves you so very much. You make me so proud and fill my heart with such an abundance of love.
My dad had a birthday today too and, since I know he will want me to say he turned 35, I didn't get to talk to him as he is in Hudson Bay. I miss him and it just didn't feel right not being able to tell him I love him. So, I love you dad; happy birthday.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
More Milestones Reached
Today marks a different direction in our lives as we have reached a couple of milestones. We are easing into the potty training of Aren. I will stress the word...easing... He is walking around with Spiderman pull-ups or whatever they are called from Pampers. That is fairly easy to handle because I know that it will be a while before he is ready to be completely potty trained. He has only peed in the potty once so far.
The one that I am finding the most difficult is Cherish. She had a real babysitting job yesterday, a paying, not for family, child she had never met before babysitting job. My little girl is really growing up...sniff. She did really well and is feeling like she can take on the world...or at least the world's children...So, to let all our friends know, if you are in need of a babysitter...I am sure Cherish would LOVE to watch your kids...
The one that I am finding the most difficult is Cherish. She had a real babysitting job yesterday, a paying, not for family, child she had never met before babysitting job. My little girl is really growing up...sniff. She did really well and is feeling like she can take on the world...or at least the world's children...So, to let all our friends know, if you are in need of a babysitter...I am sure Cherish would LOVE to watch your kids...
Monday, July 18, 2005
Happy Birthday!!!!!
Today is my sis' birthday!!! I know she isn't really fond of her birthday for more reasons than I really can comprehend; she misses her family and although I do understand missing family, I don't understand missing family to the degree she misses hers. It makes me sad for her and I want more than anything to know how to make this day so very special for her. She deserves to feel special on her birthday...everyday but especially on her birthday.
She just got back from a relaxing weekend at a spa and I'm sure that helped but the thing is, she had to work really hard to get there. I mean, granted, she could still enjoy it and all, I am sure but, that wasn't something just given to her. She worked very hard to save the money to go. I had really wanted to be able to help her out financially so she didn't have to save so much but it just didn't work out this time.
As for her birthday, I got her something she mentioned a really long time ago that she/they didn't have in their house and it would be kind of nice to have one but I also really want to get her something special just for her and I still really have no idea what that could be. I don't have enough for sound proofing for any of the rooms downstairs (although I know she would LOVE that). So something special for a women who self sacrifices daily for her wonderful family, who works hard making sure her house is clean and there are always cookies for her kids (and her niece who looks devestated if auntie has no cookies...yikes)...
..I don't know if I can think of anything that I feel is special enough for my sister on her birthday. Why? I have thought of so many things and they all seems so insignificant, not special enough for her. She is a very, very special person to me and I love her with all my heart.
So, on your special day, my dear sis, my prayer (and part of my gift for you) is peace, peace in your heart, a calmness in your spirit and a joy that knows no end. May you feel the love that we all have for you with extreme measure and not doubt that you are a wonderful person in our lives, well-deserving of every happiness. I love you!
P.S. The kids are shouting "Happy Birfday, AUNTIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!
She just got back from a relaxing weekend at a spa and I'm sure that helped but the thing is, she had to work really hard to get there. I mean, granted, she could still enjoy it and all, I am sure but, that wasn't something just given to her. She worked very hard to save the money to go. I had really wanted to be able to help her out financially so she didn't have to save so much but it just didn't work out this time.
As for her birthday, I got her something she mentioned a really long time ago that she/they didn't have in their house and it would be kind of nice to have one but I also really want to get her something special just for her and I still really have no idea what that could be. I don't have enough for sound proofing for any of the rooms downstairs (although I know she would LOVE that). So something special for a women who self sacrifices daily for her wonderful family, who works hard making sure her house is clean and there are always cookies for her kids (and her niece who looks devestated if auntie has no cookies...yikes)...
..I don't know if I can think of anything that I feel is special enough for my sister on her birthday. Why? I have thought of so many things and they all seems so insignificant, not special enough for her. She is a very, very special person to me and I love her with all my heart.
So, on your special day, my dear sis, my prayer (and part of my gift for you) is peace, peace in your heart, a calmness in your spirit and a joy that knows no end. May you feel the love that we all have for you with extreme measure and not doubt that you are a wonderful person in our lives, well-deserving of every happiness. I love you!
P.S. The kids are shouting "Happy Birfday, AUNTIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Wow!
I sit at my computer an emotional wreck from a movie Bill & I just finished watching. "Million Dollar Baby" (Clint Eastwood, Hillary Swank, Morgan Freeman) is, barre none, the best movie I have seen in a really long time. I don't think I have the ability to verbalize the way this movie hit me. It just really impacted me as I sat and watched it. Both, Bill & I were completely surprised by how this movie ended figuring it for another happy ending Hollywood production but...Wow!
Apparently, Hillary Swank was trained by a guy in Saskatoon. Name? Number? Send this sucker my way because he did a phenomal job on Miss Hillary. She was one lean mean fighting machine. However someone else needs to foot the bill because I think he may be bringing in some serious coin after this movie.
Anyway, for me, this movie left me with one word on my lips...WOW! I would definitely recommend it to anyone.
Apparently, Hillary Swank was trained by a guy in Saskatoon. Name? Number? Send this sucker my way because he did a phenomal job on Miss Hillary. She was one lean mean fighting machine. However someone else needs to foot the bill because I think he may be bringing in some serious coin after this movie.
Anyway, for me, this movie left me with one word on my lips...WOW! I would definitely recommend it to anyone.
Bad Night at Work
Bad! Terrible! Really, really bad! No, really, bad!
I got to work at 6 pm today, not the best time to start a shift, the middle of supper rush but that's when I start most Saturdays. I had a couple tables; nobody really left anything outstanding tip wise but still okay. I think I had 4 tables and then I was told I had a reservation of 20 people, a kids' baseball team. A server's worst nightmare; most of the time these kids make an enourmous mess, are loud, vulgar and you don't get tips.
We made seating arrangements for 20 people and slowly but surely 20 people turned into 45. Needless to say my section wasn't big enough to seat that many people so I had tables every where, parents here, kids there and chaos everywhere. Sheesh. The kids were loud, sucking back pop like it was going out of style and demanding refills as the last drop hit their lips. The parents were demanding, for example demanding to know what was taking so long to get their appetizers when they had just ordered them 4 minutes earlier and complaining that they couldn't all sit together yet, they kept thanking me for my services. Every family was paying separately and kids and parents were scattered all over the place so organizing this free for all was strenuous. I have to admit that these people drove me to the edge and nudged me to the bottom of the pit. For the first time EVER my co-workers heard me lose it and I heard a couple mention that as I was walking away, "Wow, I've never heard Ang say a mean thing about anyone before."
When all was said and done and everyone had their food, was full and had the correct bill, I got $17 dollars of tips on a $450-$500 dollar deal. I paid $22 into tip pool for kitchen staff and hosts/esses because of these people so...I paid to work today. If I would have had to pay for my supper tonight I would have owed the company money. The only reason I didn't have to pay for my supper was because the manager that was on felt so badly about the way these people treated me that he discounted my meal 100% instead of 50%. I went on my break as soon as they left so frustrated and so completely ready to cry. My stress level was way too high for me to feel like a could do a good job for anyone else.
I went on my break, sat down with my drink and prayed. I had to; there was no way I could function in that place I was that stressed out by these wonderful, wonderful people. I felt a peace wash over me and I thought "You know I can go back out there and be really happy about it. The people I serve next don't deserve my stress because of these people. God, just take this stress from me and help me to have a good night." Well, the rest of my night consisted of 1 more table, a bunch of teenagers...not great tippers teenagers so I couldn't expect to make up any lost money. I felt that same choking feeling when I did my cash out and realized how close I came to having to pay to be there tonight.
So, some days you win, some days you lose and oh, boy did I lose tonight. The host asked me, after this table left, how I could still have a smile on my face and sound so pleasant to these people as they were "screwing me over" (his words). "What can you do I?", I asked him. "It's not in my nature to treat people like that and it wouldn't do a darn thing to change it. There's no point."
So, do I have some big glorious ending to this? No. I would love to get on my soapbox and remind you all to tip your servers or they end up paying to serve you but, what's the point? I just had a bad day and I need to get it off my chest so I can go to sleep. It's 2 AM so everyone else in this house is sleeping so you, my blog reading friends, get to be the recipients of one frustrated, tired mama's grumbling. Thanks for listening and goodnight.
I got to work at 6 pm today, not the best time to start a shift, the middle of supper rush but that's when I start most Saturdays. I had a couple tables; nobody really left anything outstanding tip wise but still okay. I think I had 4 tables and then I was told I had a reservation of 20 people, a kids' baseball team. A server's worst nightmare; most of the time these kids make an enourmous mess, are loud, vulgar and you don't get tips.
We made seating arrangements for 20 people and slowly but surely 20 people turned into 45. Needless to say my section wasn't big enough to seat that many people so I had tables every where, parents here, kids there and chaos everywhere. Sheesh. The kids were loud, sucking back pop like it was going out of style and demanding refills as the last drop hit their lips. The parents were demanding, for example demanding to know what was taking so long to get their appetizers when they had just ordered them 4 minutes earlier and complaining that they couldn't all sit together yet, they kept thanking me for my services. Every family was paying separately and kids and parents were scattered all over the place so organizing this free for all was strenuous. I have to admit that these people drove me to the edge and nudged me to the bottom of the pit. For the first time EVER my co-workers heard me lose it and I heard a couple mention that as I was walking away, "Wow, I've never heard Ang say a mean thing about anyone before."
When all was said and done and everyone had their food, was full and had the correct bill, I got $17 dollars of tips on a $450-$500 dollar deal. I paid $22 into tip pool for kitchen staff and hosts/esses because of these people so...I paid to work today. If I would have had to pay for my supper tonight I would have owed the company money. The only reason I didn't have to pay for my supper was because the manager that was on felt so badly about the way these people treated me that he discounted my meal 100% instead of 50%. I went on my break as soon as they left so frustrated and so completely ready to cry. My stress level was way too high for me to feel like a could do a good job for anyone else.
I went on my break, sat down with my drink and prayed. I had to; there was no way I could function in that place I was that stressed out by these wonderful, wonderful people. I felt a peace wash over me and I thought "You know I can go back out there and be really happy about it. The people I serve next don't deserve my stress because of these people. God, just take this stress from me and help me to have a good night." Well, the rest of my night consisted of 1 more table, a bunch of teenagers...not great tippers teenagers so I couldn't expect to make up any lost money. I felt that same choking feeling when I did my cash out and realized how close I came to having to pay to be there tonight.
So, some days you win, some days you lose and oh, boy did I lose tonight. The host asked me, after this table left, how I could still have a smile on my face and sound so pleasant to these people as they were "screwing me over" (his words). "What can you do I?", I asked him. "It's not in my nature to treat people like that and it wouldn't do a darn thing to change it. There's no point."
So, do I have some big glorious ending to this? No. I would love to get on my soapbox and remind you all to tip your servers or they end up paying to serve you but, what's the point? I just had a bad day and I need to get it off my chest so I can go to sleep. It's 2 AM so everyone else in this house is sleeping so you, my blog reading friends, get to be the recipients of one frustrated, tired mama's grumbling. Thanks for listening and goodnight.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
My Doll
Here is my dolly all tattered and torn.
Everyone loves her even though she is worn.
Her body is floppy and her hair is a mess,
But I love her dearly,
and she loves me best!
I can't take the credit for writing this poem of the one about Daddy from earlier; I found them on the internet but this picture is what the author was speaking about.
World, meet Yaya....
Here is my dolly all tattered and torn.
Everyone loves her even though she is worn.
Her body is floppy and her hair is a mess,
But I love her dearly,
and she loves me best!
I can't take the credit for writing this poem of the one about Daddy from earlier; I found them on the internet but this picture is what the author was speaking about.
World, meet Yaya....
Big Shoes to Fill
I captured a picture of Aren and Bill that I thought was pretty darn cute and it brought to mind a poem I have seen.
Walk a Little Slower Daddy
"Walk a little slower, Daddy."
Said a little child so small.
"I'm following in your footsteps,
And I don't want to fall.
Sometimes your steps are very fast.
Sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.
Someday when I'm all grown up.
Your're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child,
Who'll want to follow me.
And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you."
Here's the little picture that made me think of that....
Walk a Little Slower Daddy
"Walk a little slower, Daddy."
Said a little child so small.
"I'm following in your footsteps,
And I don't want to fall.
Sometimes your steps are very fast.
Sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.
Someday when I'm all grown up.
Your're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child,
Who'll want to follow me.
And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true;
So, walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you."
Here's the little picture that made me think of that....
Call Me Dr. Mom
Today I performed surgery! My patient was of a furry nature with long ears and a cute pink nose. She lost her arm a while ago and I have just gotten around to sewing the arm back on...the poor dear. The was no tissue damage and I think she should be all right...at least for a while. My patient is, of course, Hallie's dance bunny rabbit, the one I gave her at her dance recital. Both patient and "mommy" are feeling much better since the arm was put back on and they can continue dancing where they left off about a month ago. The two are inseparable now telling each other secrets, playing ring around the rosie, hugging, dancing...making up for lost time.
I Actually Have Tomorrow Off
Wow, I have a day off and I don't have a lot to do. I have plans to do something with Jaimie. We haven't been able to get together for a long time. It's been way too long. Things just haven't worked out. Hopefully tomorrow. What we'll do, who cares; I'm just glad we can be together. I was able to see her and Cory for a little while tonight as they came in for supper at BPs.
The kids & I will probably do more cleaning, playing in the pool and hiding downstairs where it is a tad cooler. I don't know if he didn't put it on the calendar or what but, it looks like Billy & I may actually be able to see each other for a little while. We haven't spent much time together since he got home to work for the summer. Jenn is off with her mom for a few days and I have a birthday boy to think about...two of them actually. Aren's and dad's birthdays are next Thursday.
Well, I'm off to get my tush to bed. Gotta be all rested up for running through the sprinkler with Hallie.
The kids & I will probably do more cleaning, playing in the pool and hiding downstairs where it is a tad cooler. I don't know if he didn't put it on the calendar or what but, it looks like Billy & I may actually be able to see each other for a little while. We haven't spent much time together since he got home to work for the summer. Jenn is off with her mom for a few days and I have a birthday boy to think about...two of them actually. Aren's and dad's birthdays are next Thursday.
Well, I'm off to get my tush to bed. Gotta be all rested up for running through the sprinkler with Hallie.
I Hang My Head in Literature Shame
Okay, so Dixie tagged me. Oi. Now comes the embarrassing part of how many books I do not own but, oh well, slowly but surely I am getting more. So let's get on with it.
Number of books I own:
Approximately 200...if I really wanted to impress people I could include children's books but I am pretty sure that would be cheating. LOL.
Last book I bought:
Simple Faith by Charles Swindol
Last book I read:
Bait of Satan by John Bevere
5 books that mean a lot to me:
Little Women (don't know the author) because I used to sit and read it at my grandma's house over and over again
He Chose the Nails by Max Lucado
The Tawny Scrawny Lion and The Pokey Little Puppy
I'll put those both as one since they are kids books but they were my absolute favorite when I was a baby and I still love reading them to my kids
The Chrysalids
I had to read it in high school and enjoyed it enough to read it on my own a few more times since...I dunno
I am going to be a bit of a cheese ball and say
The Bible
I find a lot of peace, knowledge and strength from The Bible so it definitely has to make an appearance in my list.
Wow, I don't know if I know anyone else to tag. I think you have all been tagged. So I will try and hopefully get enough.
1. Renee
2. Paula
3. Dizzy D (just leave it in my comments if you want)
4. Christy
5. can't think of another one right now (it's late)
So there, I have hung my head in literature shame. I am not an incredibly well read person any more. I used to read an awful lot but now, I feel I have failed the literary world immensely.
Number of books I own:
Approximately 200...if I really wanted to impress people I could include children's books but I am pretty sure that would be cheating. LOL.
Last book I bought:
Simple Faith by Charles Swindol
Last book I read:
Bait of Satan by John Bevere
5 books that mean a lot to me:
Little Women (don't know the author) because I used to sit and read it at my grandma's house over and over again
He Chose the Nails by Max Lucado
The Tawny Scrawny Lion and The Pokey Little Puppy
I'll put those both as one since they are kids books but they were my absolute favorite when I was a baby and I still love reading them to my kids
The Chrysalids
I had to read it in high school and enjoyed it enough to read it on my own a few more times since...I dunno
I am going to be a bit of a cheese ball and say
The Bible
I find a lot of peace, knowledge and strength from The Bible so it definitely has to make an appearance in my list.
Wow, I don't know if I know anyone else to tag. I think you have all been tagged. So I will try and hopefully get enough.
1. Renee
2. Paula
3. Dizzy D (just leave it in my comments if you want)
4. Christy
5. can't think of another one right now (it's late)
So there, I have hung my head in literature shame. I am not an incredibly well read person any more. I used to read an awful lot but now, I feel I have failed the literary world immensely.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Glad the Neighbors Were Out
This morning I inflated and filled a little paddling pool for the kids to frolic in and they have been, even before the water had a chance to warm up at all. Yikes...brrrr. Aren was in there like a dirty shirt, jumping in, sliding into the pool and slipping so his face went under. It was all fun and exciting for him. Hallie had her bathing suit on (backwards, I might add so she looked like a cute wrestler in a pink wrestling uniform, complete with little boobies showing...yikes. Glad the neighbors were out). So she stopped right there in the middle of our yard to change. Glad the neighbors were out. She helped me fill the pool and by this I mean water in everything but the pool. She had fun. Then she decided she had to go pee; she dropped her bathing suit right then and there in the yard to pee. Glad the neighbors were out. At this point she decided she didn't really need the bathing suit on even so she took it off and streaked across the yard to play in the pool. I am SO glad the neighbors were out. I really wish I lived on a farm again. You don't need to worry about the neighbors...well...most of them.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Baby Update #2
We still have three baby fish and are they ever growing fast. I think they will be able to be put in with the big fish in the next 2-3 weeks. We have one pink tetra that is pretty big and I am nervous about he/she/it eating these babies Hallie & I (oh and Jenn while we were gone) have looked after so well. These babies are actually big enough that you can see them swimming around their nursery from across the living room. They really add to Jewel's frustration of trying to catch fish from the tank. Not only are they in the tank that she can't get to but they are a little too high up for her to even try batting at. Poor kitty. Any way, I'm off to bed (yes! I get the bed tonight!!! woo woo woo woo!) I just thought a little update on the fish was due and I just finished feeding the little guys their third meal.....
Saturday, July 09, 2005
A Little Update
Just to let you all know that lying horizontally on our new couch is not good for your body. Everything aches today...every body part that can, does. In hindsight, I shoud have flipped out the footrest and reclined in it and probably had a better... had a sleep.
Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go so I shall stop complaining about my trivial crap and pains and go about my day. At least I only work until 10. Yay!
Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go so I shall stop complaining about my trivial crap and pains and go about my day. At least I only work until 10. Yay!
Kicked Out...
...Yes, I said "kicked out". I was roused from bed not that long ago to a sad, hot little boy who wanted a sippy of milk and a cooler blanket. His cooler blanket was in our room so we went to get it. Somewhere in the fog of 2 year old awake at 1 AM and "let's go to mommy's room to get a cooler blanket" he got "Here have my space. Sleep with your dad in my room with my fans and I will go sleep on the couch. No, really. I insist." So, here I sit, at my computer, bedless and bound to slumber on our couch. My driftings in and out of consciousness at the computer will, I think, add to the authenticity of what I am feeling to mothers everywhere. Mothers we must unite!!! Just kidding. Perhaps...
I thought the husbands were supposed to sleep on the couch. I saw it on TV as a kid...Family Ties, Married With Children...The men get the couch! This is an outrage...(lol). I think I should be calling a lawyer. Is that in the wedding vows? Love, honor and sleep on the couch for her...? Should it be? Should we petition to get it...jkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkhkkkkk... sorry, fell asleep for a minute... reworded.
For those of you reading who know me, you know that this is the truth laced with humor because...I gotta be me. Everyone else turned down the job (Ziggy). For those of you who don't know me...please don't misread my humor.
I thought the husbands were supposed to sleep on the couch. I saw it on TV as a kid...Family Ties, Married With Children...The men get the couch! This is an outrage...(lol). I think I should be calling a lawyer. Is that in the wedding vows? Love, honor and sleep on the couch for her...? Should it be? Should we petition to get it...jkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkhkkkkk... sorry, fell asleep for a minute... reworded.
For those of you reading who know me, you know that this is the truth laced with humor because...I gotta be me. Everyone else turned down the job (Ziggy). For those of you who don't know me...please don't misread my humor.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Report Cards
Wow, the girls got their report cards while we were gone and so, looking at them now that we are back...wow. they both did spectacular. I am very proud of them both. Jenn got Honors with Distinction again this semester.
Cherish gets letter marks so it is a bit more difficult to figure out an average except that it looks like an A- or an A.
Language Arts A-
Math B-
Science A-
Socail Studies A-
Music 1 (which has a comment of excelling in the chart)
Art A
Phys Ed B+
Band A+
I can't believe she will be in grade 7 this year...sniff. I also can't believe the grade 12 thing for Jenn. Isn't one child out of high school and talking marriage enough for one family? Just kidding. Hallie all ready has a class list and her teacher's name and school supply list and she has her eye on a, you guessed it, Strawberry Shortcake backpack...da da dah. Did that come as a surprise to anyone?
Cherish gets letter marks so it is a bit more difficult to figure out an average except that it looks like an A- or an A.
Language Arts A-
Math B-
Science A-
Socail Studies A-
Music 1 (which has a comment of excelling in the chart)
Art A
Phys Ed B+
Band A+
I can't believe she will be in grade 7 this year...sniff. I also can't believe the grade 12 thing for Jenn. Isn't one child out of high school and talking marriage enough for one family? Just kidding. Hallie all ready has a class list and her teacher's name and school supply list and she has her eye on a, you guessed it, Strawberry Shortcake backpack...da da dah. Did that come as a surprise to anyone?
Vacation Jag
So as nice as it is to be back from vacation and seeing my family and friends, it feels odd to be here. It feels odd to not be waking up in a king size bed and to sluff my way to the patio so I can look out at the picturesque lake and watch the bumble bees bumbling around the flowers or the humming birds zipping to and fro, more fro than to. It feels odd to not be able to just call up our freinds from there and go to the coffee shop for my smoothie or for Bill's Carmel Machiato (spelling?) with an extra shot....(WARNING: Bill on that much caffeine is frightening!!!)
It feels odd to be driving with the windows open and smell the absolutely devine smell of a JackStack BBQ restaurant. Can someone say "heaven sent"? That was seriously some of the best bbq I've had in my life and raspberry tea (iced tea...the way they make it in the States...delicious). It also feels odd to be driving through the city and only see city. In Kansas City you can be in suburb central even pass a Super Walmart and Super Target and the next thing you know you are in the middle of somebody's horses or Texas long horn cattle and then, Bang!, back in suburb central withing 5 minutes. Cool or what?!
One of the coolest things I saw on this trip were fire flies or lightning bugs or whatever you want to call them but they were really cool.
For now, I have nothing else to say. It is good to be back with my kids but this vacation jag... what a drag...
It feels odd to be driving with the windows open and smell the absolutely devine smell of a JackStack BBQ restaurant. Can someone say "heaven sent"? That was seriously some of the best bbq I've had in my life and raspberry tea (iced tea...the way they make it in the States...delicious). It also feels odd to be driving through the city and only see city. In Kansas City you can be in suburb central even pass a Super Walmart and Super Target and the next thing you know you are in the middle of somebody's horses or Texas long horn cattle and then, Bang!, back in suburb central withing 5 minutes. Cool or what?!
One of the coolest things I saw on this trip were fire flies or lightning bugs or whatever you want to call them but they were really cool.
For now, I have nothing else to say. It is good to be back with my kids but this vacation jag... what a drag...
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
We're Back!!!
We're back and had a wonderful time. the apartment that the church has was incredible to say the least. It was nice to see our friends again but it is also nice to be back to see our kids, family & friends here.
The rain was terrible on our way down and we almost died at on point. We lost control of the van in 3 different places because of water on the road but the last place was where we almost cashed it in. The water was laked across the road and on our way back, in the daylight, we saw how much water was in the ditch/field where it happened. The water was so high that the farmer's corn field was buried and his shed(which housed his swather) was buried in water half way up. If Bill, through God's grace, hadn't gotten control of the van we surely would have drowned.
Aren has changed in the last week and seeing the kids made me cry and realize how much I really missed them.
This is short and sweet for now as I have to get ready for work and call my sis 'cuz I missed her lots too. I thought of her and her "situation" often and need to phone to see how she is doing.
The rain was terrible on our way down and we almost died at on point. We lost control of the van in 3 different places because of water on the road but the last place was where we almost cashed it in. The water was laked across the road and on our way back, in the daylight, we saw how much water was in the ditch/field where it happened. The water was so high that the farmer's corn field was buried and his shed(which housed his swather) was buried in water half way up. If Bill, through God's grace, hadn't gotten control of the van we surely would have drowned.
Aren has changed in the last week and seeing the kids made me cry and realize how much I really missed them.
This is short and sweet for now as I have to get ready for work and call my sis 'cuz I missed her lots too. I thought of her and her "situation" often and need to phone to see how she is doing.
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