Paralyzed

As I was boiling some water in the kettle today (I was making some cookies for Hallie), something on the bottom of the burner caught fire. It looked like a fry had been dropped under the element. My heart stopped; my heart raced and I had to force myself to stay calm and rational so I could put this fire out. I prayed; I breathed deep and forced the thoughts of running to wake the kids and get out of the house out of my mind and simply put a lid over the elemnt to smother the tiny little fire.

To some, this may seem completely silly and irrational and if it were happening to someone else I would probably think the same thing. However, when I was 12 years old I woke up to my mom screaming "FIRE!!!! Get out of the HOUSE!!!". (We lived in a trailer with a full sized addition on it, one of the old trailers from 1970 something with the panelling that LOVES fire.) My brother was watching cartoons early in the morning while everyone else was sleeping and went to the kitchen for something; I don't remember. He saw flames shooting out of an outlet in our dining room (right at the head of the spare bed we had for when my grandpa came to stay with us). Pajamas on, feet bare we ran up the hill to grandma's house. it was February and our feet didn't feel the cold one bit.

We had a 100 pound propane tank in our yard right beside our house because we had a propane stove and our biggest fear was that it was going to explode. We lived on a farm 45 minutes away from town and 15-20 minutes away from the nearest volunteer fire fighters. When all was said and done our trailer stood, a shell; our family homeless with no possessions. No one was hurt (thank God) only scared out of our wits and devestated. I have been paralyzingly (is that a real word or am I making up words again? Marc? Dixie? Somebody?) afraid of fire ever since.

What I did learn though is that people will really pull together for you. You never really know who your true friends are until you really need them and that possessions mean nothing. The only possession I miss that was destroyed in the fire were pictures from my childhood.

So now, as I try to get over my embarrassment and my feeling foolish because I freaked out over a teeny, tiny fire and I dry my tears I thank God that my family came through the fire no harm no foul except for maybe a few emotional glitches.