Friday, November 21, 2008

"Hello, this is your calling"

Wouldn't it be nice if it really happened that way, you pick up the phone and there is an audible voice telling you what it is that you are supposed to do with your life? Don't get me wrong, I know what my overall purpose in life is but, what I don't know is what am I supposed to do with my life or how am I supposed to fulfill that purpose I guess would be an even better question. I really thought it was to go into Nursing-from the depths of my being even but as I pray on it it doesn't seem right. My friend and mentor, Wayne, says that they see me doing something with children. Yes, but what?! I love children! I have 7 of them. That seems vague to me right now...something with children. That is such a broad spectrum that I would like that "phone call".

Don't get me wrong; I love my job but, I have no plans to be an office manager for the rest of my life. I am a creative person and need a job where I can be creative. My first real "what-do-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up" moment was journalism...photojournalism more specifically. I dreamed of going to far off places and capturing life and all aspects of it. I don't think that is really what I am supposed to do either although I still LOVE photography!

BigB says that he feels I will be doing something creative as well; he uses the term "with my talents". I am not sure if I know what my "talents" even are.

Ideally, I would like a job where I can work part-time and be with my kids a lot more than I am and have the freedom to be creative. When I don't have time to flow creatively, in some way (scrapbooking, making cards, writing, taking pictures...) I feel like a blanket is being thrown over a fire exhausting it of its life supply. I feel the same when I feel I have not had the opportunity to "be" mom & wife enough during the course of a week. I need the time to put those hats on as well or I begin to feel like a failure in that aspect of my life.

I guess for now I just need to be patient, ask for clearer vision and wait for the "phone" to ring...

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