Mad Minute

Last night I learned that a "Mad Minute" is a military term used in reference to a point where an army (who is about to retreat) will expel all of its ammunition at their enemy so that they 1. don't have to carry it on their retreat and 2. don't allow it to fall into their enemy's hand. It doesn't say quite that much here but that is the essence of what was said last night. Sometimes this tactic will work to confuse the almost conquering side and they will believe that they are about to be defeated.

We had a moment last night where it seemed like that was happening to us; it's like Satan decided to fire all of his rounds in an attempt to confound us. For a brief, almost millisecond it started to work; we were at the door of a really great pity party just about to turn that knob to an uber fun night of sulking, pouting and wailing...only a millisecond though.

Last night, as we were walking out the door, our current babysitter called us to let us know that tomorrow will be the last day she can watch Bug and Jellybean after school. They are moving to a cheaper rental and it is an apartment and not a house therefore (and I understand) she feels it would be too loud to babysit any of the kids she was. The part that was momentarily knocking us on our butts was the fact that we really got no notice and we went into a state of initial shock. We had just overcome this battle a month ago with not having a sitter and a few weeks, again, before that. (The same people were watching other kids so we know that we are not the only ones who have had this recurring battle.)

BigB & I were too into our momentary pity to listen to God for a solution. We decided, for a brief moment, that our problem had probably taken God by surprise and that He didn't know this had been coming so how would He have a solution for us. Obviously we didn't consiously think that but that is what our behavior screamed. Boy, were we dorks! :D How is our problem too big for a God who is in control of this great big universe? To put us in perspective, here is what Pastor Terry said to us: think of your problems like this. There is a great big universe and in it the Milky Way and in that our planet called Earth and in that our country called Canada and in that our province and in that our city and in our city there is me and BigB and our GREAT BIG problem...sort of makes you feel a little foolish about dwelling on some of the things a person dwells on...

Why is it that in our selfishness we think that God wasn't aware, even before time began, that we would find ourselves faced with certain situations? Why is it that we feel focusing on our problem is going to make it go away? Remember high school? Remember focusing on that "huge" pimple on your face that no one else saw but to you it was big enough to carve your very own Mount Rushmore on? Didn't make the pimple go away did it? In fact, it was pretty much a waste of time and energy to just focus on that pimple.

Last night, after our brief moment of falling on our butts, BigB & I realized how silly it was for us to focus on our problem; it's not that big in the grand scheme of things and it didn't surprise God. He was not panicking last night, pacing the floors of Heaven saying, "Oh how did this get past me?! What now!? What am I going to do?!" We needed to focus on the solution as soon as I hung up from that phone call. We needed to say "God, we are in covenent with you. Your Word says that You will provide for all our needs and right now we are in need of a babysitter. What are You going to do about it?"

You know what? Within an hour and a half of not having a babysitter and, momentarily, feeling all hope was lost, we had a new babysitter. This is a probable temporary solution that may turn into a more permanent one; who knows right now? I may not know and she may not know but God does and that is all I need to know.

Mad minute tactics diverted; we didn't fall for that trick! Thank you, Pastor Terry, for your time, for your wisdom and for giving us The Word "machine gun-style" so there was no room for our thoughts, fears and goofiness. Thank You, God for Your faithfulness even when we detoured off the road of faith and found our way onto that road of fear, as momentarily as it was! Thank You for Your provision and for supplying our needs always!!!

Smiling and working. Working and smiling...

Life has been good mainly because God has been and is good! We have all had our share of the cold that has been making its rounds. It has imbedded itself a little more deeply into some than others. Me, for instance.

Yesterday I got the chills; I got them so badly it felt like I was never going to warm up, like my bones were frozen solid. BigB was here to pick me up when I finished work; we got some gas and went to Chicken Chef for supper (all the kids were out). Immediately after we rushed home to get changed so we could go to the church to get some more work done there. I was in my warmest clothes complete with toque that I refused to take off. Due to picking up the kids from the sliding/play date I left the church at about 8, got home, got the kids to bed and put myself to bed, hoping to finally warm up. I must have during the night as I woke up this morning feeling a lot better.

Tonight is more of the same: rush home to gulp down supper, get changed into my paint clothes and head to the church. I have no idea if I am painting tonight or not but whatever it is, it will be fun! We always have fun there. Our church family is such a great group of people! I can honestly say that I have never attended a church where the people pull together so much and are so happy to do whatever is required with such a positive attitude as I have seen at WRC! It is such a joy to know that this is the kind of environment we are raising our children in!!!

Off to paint or mud or sand or...who cares!? I am off to have some fun!

"Hello, this is your calling"

Wouldn't it be nice if it really happened that way, you pick up the phone and there is an audible voice telling you what it is that you are supposed to do with your life? Don't get me wrong, I know what my overall purpose in life is but, what I don't know is what am I supposed to do with my life or how am I supposed to fulfill that purpose I guess would be an even better question. I really thought it was to go into Nursing-from the depths of my being even but as I pray on it it doesn't seem right. My friend and mentor, Wayne, says that they see me doing something with children. Yes, but what?! I love children! I have 7 of them. That seems vague to me right now...something with children. That is such a broad spectrum that I would like that "phone call".

Don't get me wrong; I love my job but, I have no plans to be an office manager for the rest of my life. I am a creative person and need a job where I can be creative. My first real "what-do-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up" moment was journalism...photojournalism more specifically. I dreamed of going to far off places and capturing life and all aspects of it. I don't think that is really what I am supposed to do either although I still LOVE photography!

BigB says that he feels I will be doing something creative as well; he uses the term "with my talents". I am not sure if I know what my "talents" even are.

Ideally, I would like a job where I can work part-time and be with my kids a lot more than I am and have the freedom to be creative. When I don't have time to flow creatively, in some way (scrapbooking, making cards, writing, taking pictures...) I feel like a blanket is being thrown over a fire exhausting it of its life supply. I feel the same when I feel I have not had the opportunity to "be" mom & wife enough during the course of a week. I need the time to put those hats on as well or I begin to feel like a failure in that aspect of my life.


I guess for now I just need to be patient, ask for clearer vision and wait for the "phone" to ring...

Thoughts on death.

Today marks the 9th anniversary of the death of BigB's little brother.

Jellybean turns 8 years old in little under two weeks.

I wonder how pretty well the same course of time can seem like forever AND just like yesterday at the same time. It seems like we have had Jellybean in our lives forever; I can't imagine what it was like without her but similarily, it seems just like yesterday that I was startled awake by that phone call in the middle of the night telling us about the accident that took Perry.

Does the death of someone actually get easier or do you just develop better coping skills as the years go on?

Does it become less painful or different painful for parents who have had a child taken from them?

Personally, it becomes different painful...

How can Jellybean, who never met her uncle, miss him and love him so very much that her heart breaks when she thinks of him? I have held her as she sobbed from the very depths of her heart for the uncle she has never met and yet, has always loved.

What words do you say to the father who is greiving so, 9 years later, still thinking and angry at God for taking his son away from him?

What thoughts are going through his friend's head right now, remembering where he was 9 years ago? Does he still condemn himself thinking he could have done more?

How does one get through the days leading up to and past this one...? Simply: One day at a time, one hour at a time.

Mom & Dad: We love you so very much and though we have our own grief, can not fathom yours. We are praying for you that peace may find you in your sleep and in your waking hours and that the burden is just that much lighter...

I asked...I will NOT grovel!

I spoke with a friend of mine the other day who told me about trouble she is now having with a friend because someone who was not a part of the problem decided that he was intervening. What a hero! He took something that was just a miscommunication and a misunderstanding, added his two (uninformed) cents and has now put a tremendous wedge between two people.

This same person has taken it upon himself to do the same thing to me in the same week. I have come to terms with the fact that I said something that was misconstrued and misread and I have attempted to apologize and attempted to ask forgiveness but due to other people's (and it sounds like more than one) interferring and adding their two-cents and their interpretations I find myself at a place where I just wash my hands of the entire thing. I did what I could; I value this person but I will not beg for her forgiveness nor beg for her relationship.

She says she is not perfect (which she is not) but expects me to be (as is evident in the fact that she can't get over the fact that I said something which may not have been 100% appropriate. I am not perfect either). I also know that there will probably be a backlash over the fact that I am typing my thoughts here but it is MY blog and they are my thoughts...and I have never mentioned anyone's name so there has been no harm or foul.

I love this person and apologize if what I said cut her; I do think that she took it the wrong way but that is between her & God. Just for the record though...the Gospel does offend. Jesus offended lots of people, especially those who were stuck in religion (Pharisees). I will not apologize for speaking the Word of God but I do apologize for the fact that people think it was done maliciously. I have never done anything with malicious intent and that will never change! I will also apologize for my approach because it may not have been the best way (we can always use work on our approach-all of us!). Now the rest is up to the other individual if she so choses to hold onto unforgiveness that is something she must contend with. My conscience is free and clear.

I just want her to know that I value her as a person.

Remember the heroes

Today we set aside time to remember those who fought and died for our freedom...who continue to fight and die...

I, particularily, think of my GrandpaK who never did get to serve overseas due to health reasons and was thus honorably discharged, my Grandpa H who was so affected by what he saw on the front lines of WWII that he could scarcely tell you he even served let alone speak of what he saw, of my great-uncle who was never found when he served in WWII (no one knows what happened to him at all) and of Bill's grandpa who so desperately wanted to fight for his country that he lied about his age to be old enough to serve. Heroes...absolute heroes. And today, if you were to ask a child who their heroes are chances are you will get Hannah Montana, Brittney Spears, Brad Pitt, whatever Hollywood-flavor-of-the-week is "now"...yah, they're heroes all right...just the people I want my children to model their lives after...30 minute marriages, drug-induced stupidity, acts of public indecency, unaccountability, paying off people to hide whatever crimes they have committed or minimizing it by putting them up in some luxury detention center...real heroes, right?

Now, let's get on to remembering some of the REAL heroes!

Just a MEME

1. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Everyone who was at this morning's church service!!! Aside from that: Riss, Talia, BigB, Rush, Jellybean and Bug.

2. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? Getting the new church building enclosed and ready for inhabitation!

3. Who was the last person you called? Ruth

4. What were you doing at 12am last night? Cleaning up after church service and waiting for BigB to be done his responsibilities.

5. Are your parents married/divorced? Both.
6. When did you last see your mom? Weekend after Thanksgiving? Only a couple weeks ago anyway.

7. What are you wearing right now? Brown "Old man pants" a t-shirt and a black hoodie/bunnyhug.

8. Where is your favorite place to be? in the presence of God.

9. Where is your least favorite place to be? in the Emergency waiting room.

10. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? Norway.

11. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years? God only knows...but I know it will be great!

12. What was the last thing that really made you laugh? Some of the pastors' jokes during the sermons this week.

13. What cities/towns/villages have you lived in? 4 different ones but not too far fromeach other.

14. Are you a social person? Yes, occassionally I just want family time.

15. Do you sleep alone? Nope.

You mean that's it?

Our 10-day conference has come to an end; that's it. It is over but man, it was fantastic!!! Due to delays at the border or some such other glitch months ago, our new building wasn't finished (ok, it didn't even have walls or a roof or okay, it's just a frame!) so we have been having our church services in a tent. Cool enough. (That wasn't slang talk! It has been cool enough...even down right nippy some nights.)

We had Day 1 and Day 2 in the tent; Day 3 and 4 were at Faith Alive to listen to Pastor Steve Gray. Day 5 was to be at our church in our tent; Val was even prepared to go out and buy our 3 Kansas City friends hats and long johns but that Sunday before the fire marshall told us we had to take the tent down due to fire regulations. Fair enough; we did it that day but where were we going to have our services? We found a solution albeit an unfavorable one it was better than no solution. The day we were to have our service in the "new" facility the pastor of our sister church offered their church to us. It is a beautiful building equipped nicely to service every need of the conference!

Just think 2 churches working together to put one church's conference on!!! I don't think I could imagine anything like that before. Oh! There is another piece to the puzzle; not only did we have the 2 churches working together, we had a third church (Faith Alive) join us in our endeavour. Three churches working in unity together, becoming one family! It was absolutely inspiring especially the services we had with all three church families together.

So, the conference is over and that means life as usual now but, not entirely. We learned a lot and came away with a lot that we will all carry with us. Perhaps though we can climb that laundry mountain that wormed its way into the houses of everyone of our church families' homes! :P It also means our schedules will be somewhat less hectic but not this week (it's our week for classes) and probably not until we have that building up and ready to inhabit...

To the Teachers at WJB!!!

Dear WJB Staff:

We just wanted to let you know how thrilled we are at the experience our family has had at WJB. There is a great bunch of teachers there & we love & appreciate you all dearly! Thanks you to the teachers who had a direct influence on our children by being in their classes & thank you to the rest of the staff (not just the teachers)! You have all truly touched the hearts of our children and, therefore, our hearts.

We are excited for our new adventure but don't think it is without a sadness. We truly will miss you all!

At this time I would especially like to thank any teacher who has spent time teaching Jellybean (H-J). She had a rough start to her schooling with her verbal apraxia and was prognosed to not even make it through Kindergarten the first time around. That never happened! Nor did it the next year nor the next! You, her teachers, encouraged her, motivated her & never gave up on her! You brought out & pulled out so many positive attributes in her & never gave up on her therefore, she never gave up on herself!

Thank you WJB staff! We take this time to stand up & applaud you! You have really impacted our family! We love you very much and will miss you all!

With much love from all of us!


This is the letter I wrote to the school today on our children's last day at WJB. Monday they start at the christian school. They are very excited for this journey to begin but, we are all, as I said in my letter, sad at the great teachers we are leaving behind. We leave the school not because we feel the teachers are doing a bad job but because we want our children's education to be based on the word of God.

Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he must go and when he is old he shall not depart from it.". This doesn't just speak to parents but to teachers & pastors and that is why we believe a christian education is an important gift to give our children, that their teachers can train them in the way they must go according to God's word. We want to protect our children's innocence and purity and unfortunately the education system does not always strive for that. Teaching my children safe sex instead of God's word regarding sex gives them a double message when they hear the opposite at home & church as they do at school.

That being said, we were very fortunate to have a school that did not disallow our children from praying for their friends or for their teachers at school, that did not disallow our daughter from talking about God in all her journal entries and school assignments; they did, in fact, encourage her and for that, we are truly and eternally thankful.

We will never forget the love that the staff at WJB have for our children nor will we forget how much they put into our children! I tip my hat to you all. You are loved. You are appreciated. You will be missed.

Testify!

Rush gave a testimony last night (at the first night of World Conference) about what going to WRPS school has meant to her. She did a pretty good job!

World Conference Day One...Our WRPS kids sing Conganese

I ran out of memeory on my card last night but, here are the WRPS singing most of their Conganese praise song. I really wish I could have gotten more of their dancing and jumps at the end...perhaps tonight. (Rush is pretty much in the middle of the screen in the back row. I know the lighting is very bad so it is really dark but she is to the screen right of the girl with the white shirt in the back.)