Shock and awe

I am still waiting for my Biology teacher to email me with my final mark and the agony is unbearable. I think I have checked my email about 40 times since 7:30 this morning and still, nothing!!!

I do know my Math mark and even though I was getting good marks all the way through the class, my final mark still shocked me and brought me to tears. I ended up with a 98% on my final exam and an overall average of 98%!!!!!!

This coming from the girl whose math mark from high school was a 17%!!!

I am so incredibly happy; I don't think I can even begin to describe how I feel right now. I thought math had beaten me. I didn't get it in high school and I thought I was destined to be a math failure. I tried the correspondence thing and just couldn't get through it and this was my final attempt at mathematical redemption and I DID IT!!!!!!!!

It feels so good to have overcome something that was holding me back. It didn't seem to be holding me back career-wise (sort of now that I know what I want to be) but it was holding me back emotionally; I felt like a failure and I felt...
...I think it is too hard to explain how I felt. But I beat it!!! It did not beat me!!! I beat it and not only did I beat it, I royally kicked its...

Slow thyself cruel, cruel clock

Yes, time marches on and on and on but it certainly doesn't march slowly.

A year ago I held a beautiful baby girl in my arms, craddled her next to me, smelled the sweet fragance of "new baby" and felt her warm breath on my cheek and her soft fingers grip mine. Today I watched that beautiful baby girl stride gracefully across the gymnasium as she said farewell to elementary school and as she began to anticipate new challenges, new goals, new experiences, new hardships and new sacrifices in high school.

Man!!! This motherhood thing sucks!!! What other group of people spend their entire life (from beginning of motherhood until the day we die) watching their heart walk around before them, watching their heart experience joys, hurts, hopes, despairs, discouragments and dreams? Ok, maybe dads do too but I think it is different; I think that maybe there isn't quite the same connection. Dads can be a little more detached but only due to the fact that it wasn't them that had that first internal bond and loved from that very first notion of life.

Today I watched my heart graduate from Grade 8 and has she ever turned into a kindhearted, intelligent, beautiful and graceful young woman. I could not be more proud of you at this moment!

I feel fear right now though; I fear how fast I know these next 4 years go. I have been here before, twice, and I know how fleeting these last 4 years are so, please cruel clock, slow thyself...

Academic delights

Today was the awards ceremony at the girls' school. Rush was awarded with an honor roll certificate and medal as well as the citizenship award and Jellybean got a reading award for most improved reader.

I was informed of what my grades are going into my finals...I grin with sheer delight as I announce my math mark to date is 98% and my biology mark to date is 95%. This coming from the girl who graduated in '92 with a 17% in math and a 57% in biology and who was claiming she would be happy just to get 75% this time around. I just may have to have that math party after all...

Crutches suck

...and that is all I have to say about that.




On crutches and off work for at least 5 days. Bummer.

Do I laugh or cry at this trainwreck?

I am an absolute wreck; I mean trade me in on a horse and shoot the horse...I am a mess. Tonight I was working at BPs. As I was taking an armfull of dishes to the dishpit I stepped on a lemon wedge that had fallen on the floor. My right foot went out from my center of gravity and down I went in a blaze of, well, the opposite of glory.

Right now, I have a slightly twisted left ankle, a really twisted right ankle, a sore left knee, my left arm hurts from preventing all the dishes from crashing and I twisted my back funny when I tried to catch my footing.

I told you I was a trainwreck. I wrapped my right ankle and am pushing through the slight pains everywhere else but what would I have done had I not landed on my knee and sort of "caught" myself? Would I feel better or would I be tonnes worse...?

It may be quiet from me...finals are coming next week as is Rush's grade 8 graduation!

A piece of my heart found peace

A couple of weeks ago we were informed by our sitter that she would be retiring July 13; this isn't going to affect us until the fall when the kids go back to school. The last 2 weeks have been spent in search of a new sitter for our kids who will be able to drive them to and from school.

We made numerous calls and had an interview with someone last night who seemed ok but didn't compare to our current sitter. Today when I called home to see how Rush was doing I was told to call BigB on his cell so I did. He gave me a piece of news that brought an instant peace to my mother's heart; my step-mommy is going to babysit the kids!

So, I was right in my initial thinking of our inability to find someone who could compare with our current sitter; we found someone better!!!!!!

Home sweet home

Rush came home this afternoon. She is stiff and sore but seems to be doing fine. I had to go to work so I left her snuggled on the couch with her cat (who missed her like mad) and visiting with one of her best friends. She got a nice card from her teacher and classmates and we think the Abramyk's brought her some flowers but Jellybean answered the door and told us that it was a dad who is not quite a dad yet with glasses...was that you guys? The flowers were gorgeous by the way and Rush really loved them and the mug they are in so thank you so much for that beautiful gesture.

She is not to go to school for the rest of the week and we will see how she is doing Monday before we send her (according to her discharge papers); she also has to see our family doctor next Wednesday for a post-op. He, however is on holidays until the end of June. I tried to make an appointment with our "stand-by" doctor (for times such as these) and he is on holidays with our doctor and his wife!!! Shouldn't there be a policy against that? Doctors and "just-in-case" doctors leaving at the same time....GRIN!!!!

Anyway, my baby is home and she is doing fine. All your well wishes and attempts to see her(even though her nurse didn't know she was in surgery when you got there) are so appreciated...
We are lucky to have friends and family like you all!

A is for applesauce

I left Rush at the hospital last night with her happily eating a bowl of applesauce and some arrowroot cookies. She hadn't eaten anything subtantial since Monday at lunch time so this was very welcome and she mentioned to me how 'that is really good tasting applesauce; you should really try some of it mom.'

Her procedure yesterday involved a laproscopy and she did not need her appendix removed. The problem causing the pain has been rectified and once she is healed from the surgery should be fine.

Before her surgery she was given a book to read, keep in mind she is on the children's ward. She was bored so willingly read her riveting book, "Peter Panda Has an Operation" and snuggled with the soft teddybear she was given upon returning to her room prior to the surgery.

I do not know yet if she is going to be coming home today or not but I guess all will be made known soon enough. Jellybean and Bug really miss their sister and want her home. However they also want to be able to see her in her hospital room again and get another ride on her really cool bed!

A trip to emergency later

Last night I got home from work to BigB telling me that he was taking Rush to the walk-in clinic because she is having pains in her side and he thinks it may be her appenix. A few minutes later they are back with them telling me the walk-in clinic was closed so I told them if they really think it's her appendix that they are going to the emergency room to get checked out.

At about 11:00 last night, numerous calls later, I get a call telling me that they are keeping Rush overnight for observation; I thought they meant in the emergency room but last night she was admitted to the children's ward and will most probably be having surgery sometime in the next couple of days.

I felt helpless sitting here waiting by the phone to see what was going on with my baby. Today, all I want to do is go to the hospital and be with her and I have to go to school. I will be able to sit with her for a bit this afternoon but then I have to go to work at BP's.

To top it all off, today is LilB's birthday and I will not be able to talk to him to wish him a happy birthday even though I did 2 days ago knowing I wouldn't be able to. Today he turns 21 years old. What a great man he has become; we are so proud of you!!!!

I got a position!

That's right. It's temporary but it's a position at the hospital for the summer and it is full time! The tentative end date is for the end of September but it may be extended.

This next week BigB and I will be interviewing babysitters for the fall as our wonderful babysitter will be retiring this summer. We won't have to worry about not having one until the kids go back to school as Rush will be our full time sitter, earning herself some money.

It is, however, a pain in the butt trying to find one who doesn't smoke and can drive the kids to and from school or be close enough for the kids to walk with her.

Here's hoping one of them works out.

That would be time served

Jellybean experienced and just finished her first grounding ever; I mean, she has gotten into trouble before but she has never been grounded before...until yesterday.

I got a call from Rush at the school asking me if I had picked Jellybean up from school because she can't find her. I think my heart fell to my toes and panic began to choke the life right out of me. I fought to stay in control of my thinking and asked Rush a bunch of questions. As I was right about to lose every ounce of control I did have and while asking Rush to go to the school secretary to see if she could get the address of Jellybean's friend's house (someone saw her walking with this friend) , the door opened and in walked Jellybean, proud as punch that she had walked home by herself.

I reassured Rush that Jellybean was safe and that she could just come home and tried to decide whether I needed to laugh or cry or spank or hug Jellybean. In the end, after regaining my composure, we had another long talk about strangers and people you know a little bit, the dangers of not letting people know where you are going and that I understood why she would want to walk by herself and feel grown up. I then hugged her as tight as I could without popping her little head off and burst into tears. This was followed by a calm, "You do realize that you are grounded, right?"

After explaining exactly what being grounded meant and what she could and could not do, I made darn sure she recited to me why she was grounded because I wanted to make sure that she won't do that again.

So, today marks time served for Jellybean's first "sentence", a lot earlier than any of the other kids. This one could be trouble guys...
...wink, wink.

Do you like apples?

Today BigB picked me up from school; we went and got a Booster Juice and were on our way to Extreme Pita to pick up, well, a pita in order to have a nice picnic for lunch. A girl I know from work and school was running around with a piece of paper in her hand and she asked us if our van was ours. She then proceeded to tell us how she and another girl witnessed a lady in a truck back into our van and saw our van lift up off the ground a bit; this lady then proceeded to drive away without stopping to acknowledge what she had done or to even see if she had damaged our van.


How do you like them apples?

There is more to this story though; those two witnesses gave us the plate number and the make and model of this truck and their names and phone numbers and we took that information to the police dept.

How do you think she's going to like them apples now?


Hopefully, she is the registered driver or that person will give up the name of the driver and they will pay for the corrections required on our van.

More pictures from F.A.M.E.

F.A.M.E.

Tonight was the first big show and tomorrow is the last; Jellybean was "Almost Famous" as the studio likes to say. For one weekend she is famous and all the kids that go to the dance studio are stars right along with her, 2 different showcases, 2 showings each for this weekend and each show is a sellout.

Every year my favorite part, aside from seeing my children perform, is the Grand Finale where all the kids come out to take their final bows while the theme song from "Fame" is playing. It is heart pounding, foot stomping, hand clapping good fun and it always brings tears to my eyes and my heart swells with pride-another year full of hard work, blistered toes and loads of fun has come to its conclusion for these kids.

This is Jellybean's last year of dance for a while; she is taking violin lessons, from Dixie (if she still feels up to that challenge).

Anyway, I thought I would throw on a few pictures from the recital. The photos of kids dancing are from dress rehearsal since they don't let you take pictures at the recital but...I DID take pictures of them at the grand finale tonight.