Tuesday, August 22, 2006

And so her journey has reached a new phase...

My granny ended her fight last night. She got to go home...there is no more suffering for her. No more watching her lose weight, fight for a breath, struggle to get comfortable as my parents have been doing during their vigil this summer. My step-dad asked us to not come see her after we said our goodbyes as he wanted all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren to remember her the way she was and not small, frail and suffering.

As happy as I am for her that her suffering has ended and that she is going on to a much better place, I am saddened and I feel lost and lonely. I have no more grandparents left; she was the last and there is no one else in the world who can love you in the special that a grandparent loves you. No one else makes you feel special in the way grandparents do.

I have been so fortunate, in my life, to have 3 sets of grandparents who have been great and who have loved me immensely and who have taught me so very much about life, living, God and the kind of person I should be. I have had 3 sets of grandparents who have taught me how to love and how important it is to show people how much you do love them. I have had 3 sets of grandparents who have given 100% of themselves, no matter how much it was, to me and to loving me.

I feel lost. I feel like there is such a huge part of me missing-knowing that there is no one in the world any more who loves me in "that" way. I felt orphaned last night when mom told me; or at least that was the word that came to me. I have since tweaked it since I do have 3 sets of parents who love me. I am now a "grand-orphan" and I don't like how it feels one bit.

Granny...(Aka GG) Thank you for loving me. Thank you for looking at me in that way only grandmothers can and for making me feel special in that way only grandmothers can. Thank you for the wisdom, the joy, the love, the pride and the example you bestowed upon me. I love you. Until we meet again....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I pray the good lord gives you the inner strength you need at this time.

Dixie said...

What to say, Ang? It's good that she's not suffering, but it's so sad that she's gone. You'll be in my prayers. And even though she's gone, I hope you can keep that "grand-loved" feeling with you forever.