Hi, Remember Me?

It's been a while since I have been on here. It's been a busy time for me. We went to my granny's funeral on Friday and said our goodbye's, on Saturday we went to the lake with some good friends (sans the kids) for some well deserved rest, relaxation and oodles of marshmallows, got back on Monday and my computer had died. Poof! Gone...just like that. So I have been suffering from withdrawls.

There have been tensions in the house as well for a couple of days but, I don't feel the need to get into that right now. This blog is not the place for it. Please just remember to keep us in your prayers.

But here is a picture of "relaxation". It was so great to get away with our friends, enjoying just sitting quietly, dozing on the warm sand at the beach and frolicking in the waves. I can't wait until we make our next trip, wherever and whenever that is.
















P.S. We were also pleasantly surprised to come home to Bug being pretty much potty trained. He will have, at most, one accident a day and he is usually trying to get to the potty when that happens. He even goes poop by himself. Do you hear the choir of heavenly angels singing? Ah, sweet, sweet music. Sweet, sweet glory!

Air Daddy

Bug came out shopping with BigB and I tonight and I got it in my head to be a little silly with the boy. Following is an example of one of our "AirDaddy" moments.

To set the scene: I am grabbing Bugs seatbelt about to buckle him into his carseat.
Me: My name is Mommy and I will be your seatbuckler for this evening.

Bug: giggle, giggle, giggle

Me: Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times and please, keep your seat in its upright position.

Bug: giggle, giggle, giggle

Me: Thank you for flying AirDaddy. Please enjoy the ride.

Bug: Oh, Mama, dat's funny.

The dress arrived

Today we got "the dress". It was ordered from off of Ebay and we paid (aka LilJ) around $250 including shipping, taxes, duty etc. When we got the dress today all the writing was in Chinese and we found out that we paid 615 yen for the dress. Cool.

Anyway, I had LilJ try it on and I got some pictures so...here it is along with some photoshopping I've been doing.

And so her journey has reached a new phase...

My granny ended her fight last night. She got to go home...there is no more suffering for her. No more watching her lose weight, fight for a breath, struggle to get comfortable as my parents have been doing during their vigil this summer. My step-dad asked us to not come see her after we said our goodbyes as he wanted all the grandchildren and great-grandchildren to remember her the way she was and not small, frail and suffering.

As happy as I am for her that her suffering has ended and that she is going on to a much better place, I am saddened and I feel lost and lonely. I have no more grandparents left; she was the last and there is no one else in the world who can love you in the special that a grandparent loves you. No one else makes you feel special in the way grandparents do.

I have been so fortunate, in my life, to have 3 sets of grandparents who have been great and who have loved me immensely and who have taught me so very much about life, living, God and the kind of person I should be. I have had 3 sets of grandparents who have taught me how to love and how important it is to show people how much you do love them. I have had 3 sets of grandparents who have given 100% of themselves, no matter how much it was, to me and to loving me.

I feel lost. I feel like there is such a huge part of me missing-knowing that there is no one in the world any more who loves me in "that" way. I felt orphaned last night when mom told me; or at least that was the word that came to me. I have since tweaked it since I do have 3 sets of parents who love me. I am now a "grand-orphan" and I don't like how it feels one bit.

Granny...(Aka GG) Thank you for loving me. Thank you for looking at me in that way only grandmothers can and for making me feel special in that way only grandmothers can. Thank you for the wisdom, the joy, the love, the pride and the example you bestowed upon me. I love you. Until we meet again....

My child...

Because he is too darn stinkin' cute for his own good, I may have to lock him in his room or become a sharp shooter. Either or...works for me.

Sometimes I can't fathom how much I love my kids; there seems to be no measure for it...no end to it but yet, it doesn't even begin to compare to how much God loves me. How is it then, so hard to even begin to grasp that concept some days? Why is it so hard, knowing how much I love my children, to believe that God loves me so much more than that, whether I feel worthy or not?

I saw a picture at a friend's house today and it showed a beautiful, serene sky with a dark cross in the foreground. I have seen this picture a thousand times in her front porch but today, the words jumped out and grabbed me.

It reads. " One day I asked God how much He love me and He said, 'This much' and He spread His arms out wide and died."

Needing a teenager to english dictionary

Apparently "long engagement" means next August...11th by the sounds of things.

LilJ lost her boyfriend...

There is a weird atmosphere in our house tonight...

As the post says, LilJ lost her boyfriend; that's right, she no longer has a boyfriend...



She does


however


have

a

FIANCE!!!!

There will be pictures of the happy couple and ring as soon as I get them off my camera!

Edited for one note:
According to the betrothed, it will not be a short engagement.

Edited again to add pictures:

Sleep deprived!

I. Am. Tired. Exhausted even.

One more 12 hour shift and I am going to bed and am thinking of staying there until Wednesday!


On another note: Happy anniversary to our friends the "Nut" family! Love you guys!

The one reason I hate working nights

I worked a 13 hour night last night. It was all right; I hung on. I hit a wall at 4 am because there was a lull in paperwork to do and a lull in the phones and a lull, thankfully, in patients coming to the E.R. I got home a few minutes after 7, had a bowl of cereal and crawled, happily, into bed. We had plans to go to the Ex today with the kids so I asked BigB to wake me up after Bug was done his nap.

We went to the Ex and had a lot of fun. Rush experienced some thrilling rides and enjoyed the new found adreneline rush. We all enjoyed the fair food: cotton candy, caramel apples, fudge and spudnuts however, none of us enjoyed them as much as Bug did (there will be pictures to prove this). To end the evening, we went to the store and picked up some pizzas, chips, dip and pop (boy did we eat healthy today) and had a picnic in our living room.

I started to tucker out at 7 pm and slowly found myself on the verge of sleep as we were watching a movie with the kids. At 9 I finally drug my butt to bed so I could just sleep instead of fighting to stay awake with the family and this is where we reach the part I hate about working nights.

My head hit the pillow and, all of a sudden, bang, I was wide friggin' awake and there has been no way I could make myself fall asleep. So, here I sit trying to find the sleepy zone again. I have shredded some zucchini for my freezer, read everyone's blogs and am on the verge of banging my head against the wall in any attempt to put myself to sleep. I work another 12 tomorrow but this time it is a day shift! I need to be up at 6 or so! I want to sleep!!!!!

Enough whining and snivelling though, perhaps I will try again: head back to my bed, get a cold cloth for my head, turn the music down even more and hit myself with a hammer until I lull myself, finally, into a peaceful sleep. Goodnight y'all!

Aspburgergus and other funny words

Tonight we had asperagus for the first time with the kids. Bug didn't like it so much. Jellybean adored her "aspburgergus". Rush loved it too.

Other words that the kids have been saying lately that are pretty funny:

meem: Bug's way of saying me. No matter how many times we tell him "me" he insists he is right.

cak: the long a sound eludes Jellybean when she is trying to say cake.

She's growing up

Tomorrow Rush turns 13 years old. I can't believe she has been a part of my life for 13 years all ready. We've been through an awful lot in our lives; we've stuck beside each other through good times and bad times and have always been there to support each other.

We have a special bond, Rush and I. That sort of happens when you're a single mom and dealing with all the stuff that follows suit with that. I am not going to put a negative spin on this at all.

I just want you to know, Rush, that I am so incredibly proud of how you take care of your brother and sister for us when we are at work and all the hard work you do. I am so proud of the heart you have, the love of music you have, the talent you have developed in your chosen instruments, the inner strength I see in you, the inner and outer beauty that you possess and the strength and grace you have used to deal with the circumstances you have met so far in your life.

You are so special that I just can't even begin to express how much you mean to me and you know that for me to be at a loss for words is rare. I love you with all that I am, all that I can be and all that you made me become. Happy birthday, baby. Welcome to the next phase of your life.

Oh, by the way, tomorrow I teach you how to put on your new makeup!!! (wink)

Saturday, Saturday where are you Saturday

Is this week taking forever or what? I mean the days are passing so quickly; I start work and it's soon time for my break, then lunch and then my second coffee. So, the days are passing quickly but this week seems to sauntering along. Perhaps it is because there is so much excitement in the house and too much waiting for the end of the week.

Rush turns 13 tomorrow and she has been waiting for this day for over a year. Why? Tomorrow is the day she gets to wear makeup on a regular basis other than just dance recital and that is a huge stepping stone for her.

We are going to the fair on Saturday to celebrate her birthday. Saturday is my only day off. So the children are waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

Me too...I am tired...a day off would be great. I only have 52 hours of work left this week. 16 down and 52 to go. Just typing that makes me tired.

I didn't sleep well last night. My step-dad's uncle passed away and his funeral is today; his cousin died from cancer and her funeral is Friday. My granny, who has been holding her own in the hospital for the last while, has taken an extreme turn for the worst. She is 70 pounds and can only eat pudding and yogurt and stuff. More waiting...I don't think it will be long now...I love you, Granny.