Monday, February 20, 2006

Sort of having a a way

I am not feeling myself today. I am feeling almost lost but not quite because I know who I am and I know where I want to be but it seems like I may be taking some crazy steps to get there. I feel like a few of my attempts have me digging my heels in to get moving while a big hand is pushing against my forehead to hold me back. I don't seem to have the energy to do the things I know I should be doing and then walks in the guilt.

I feel a bit sad without knowing why I am sad with 100% certainty. I know I feel confused because it feels like some of my efforts are constantly being thwarted. All in all, though, I know things are good and I think this is the part that is blowing my mind. Why am I feeling sad, for lack of a better word because it isn't true sadness?

Perhaps we can chalk this one up to winter blues but it hasn't even really been that cold. Maybe I just need a beautiful, warm day where I can sit and soak in the sun...I just don't know.
Like I said, I am sort of having a a way and I really don't get it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

hang in there sis, I love you.
ps i cannot seem to get back on my blog which is why i never post anymore.